I can't take it anymore

[Manuletha1995]

it seems like I always get back to this state of mind where I feel helpless and hopeless about life.. Dealing with panick and paranoid thoughts is a nightmare and no one seems to get the pain I'm in. I attend church, I pray etc so why all the suffering!? I'm not perfect I do struggle with sin but I always ask God for forgiveness. I'm on meds that don't seem to be working and I can't see my doctor until late October. But what's the point? It seems like it's never going to go away. I'm tired of going out and feeling. Like ppl are making fun of me. And get a sudden burst of anxiety when o hear laughing or seeing someone give me eye contact. I can't control my thoughts anymore! It's too much! I've been feeling miserable these past few days. I even cut my arms. I haven't cut in a while but I'm in a lot of unbearable pain at the moment and I just don't know what to do. I wish I had the strength to kill myself but I never have the courage to do it. No amount of reading the bible or praying does much and I've been to therapy and been hospitalized before. I'm soo tired. Please God just take me away now. The pain is too much to bear.

 

[rob_aston]

Dealing with panick and paranoid thoughts is a nightmare and no one seems to get the pain I'm in

mate, don't worry about sin, that's not the issue, the devil will constantly remind that it is and hassle you at every oppportunity...this is God's remedy for you, take with fluid three times a DAY/night before food....
Isaiah 54

 

[Aldebaran]

it seems like I always get back to this state of mind where I feel helpless and hopeless about life.. Dealing with panick and paranoid thoughts is a nightmare and no one seems to get the pain I'm in. I attend church, I pray etc so why all the suffering!? I'm not perfect I do struggle with sin but I always ask God for forgiveness. I'm on meds that don't seem to be working and I can't see my doctor until late October. But what's the point? It seems like it's never going to go away. I'm tired of going out and feeling. Like ppl are making fun of me. And get a sudden burst of anxiety when o hear laughing or seeing someone give me eye contact. I can't control my thoughts anymore! It's too much! I've been feeling miserable these past few days. I even cut my arms. I haven't cut in a while but I'm in a lot of unbearable pain at the moment and I just don't know what to do. I wish I had the strength to kill myself but I never have the courage to do it. No amount of reading the bible or praying does much and I've been to therapy and been hospitalized before. I'm soo tired. Please God just take me away now. The pain is too much to bear.

You've mentioned going to church, but have you sought counciling there? Suffering alone is not good. I hope you are seeking friendships and other people to talk to there about what you're going through. It helps a lot!

 

[Manuletha1995]

You've mentioned going to church, but have you sought counciling there? Suffering alone is not good. I hope you are seeking friendships and other people to talk to there about what you're going through. It helps a lot!

Cohncelling never seems to help me. I've been to several churches where pastors were rude and just blamed me! As for friendships it's hopeless. I can't make friends no matter how hard I try. That's a whole different story in itself...

 

[Manuletha1995]

mate, don't worry about sin, that's not the issue, the devil will constantly remind that it is and hassle you at every oppportunity...this is God's remedy for you, take with fluid three times a DAY/night before food....
Isaiah 54

Thanks

 

[Aldebaran]

Cohncelling never seems to help me. I've been to several churches where pastors were rude and just blamed me! As for friendships it's hopeless. I can't make friends no matter how hard I try. That's a whole different story in itself...

There are places on this forum that you can seek help. It may help more than you think. Many of us are here on this forum for exactly the same reasons you are. Some of us find it impossible to make friends or to socialize.

 

[Manuletha1995]

There are places on this forum that you can seek help. It may help more than you think. Many of us are here on this forum for exactly the same reasons you are. Some of us find it impossible to make friends or to socialize.

Where do I go on the forum for guidance then?

 

[Aldebaran]

Where do I go on the forum for guidance then?

Here's one place that might help in general: http://www.christianforums.com/categories/prayer-and-encouragement-christians-only.1268/

Also here for some things you've mentioned: http://www.christianforums.com/categories/recovery.92/

As well as here: http://www.christianforums.com/categories/mental-health.600/

 

[tatteredsoul]

it seems like I always get back to this state of mind where I feel helpless and hopeless about life.. Dealing with panick and paranoid thoughts is a nightmare and no one seems to get the pain I'm in. I attend church, I pray etc so why all the suffering!? I'm not perfect I do struggle with sin but I always ask God for forgiveness. I'm on meds that don't seem to be working and I can't see my doctor until late October. But what's the point? It seems like it's never going to go away. I'm tired of going out and feeling. Like ppl are making fun of me. And get a sudden burst of anxiety when o hear laughing or seeing someone give me eye contact. I can't control my thoughts anymore! It's too much! I've been feeling miserable these past few days. I even cut my arms. I haven't cut in a while but I'm in a lot of unbearable pain at the moment and I just don't know what to do. I wish I had the strength to kill myself but I never have the courage to do it. No amount of reading the bible or praying does much and I've been to therapy and been hospitalized before. I'm soo tired. Please God just take me away now. The pain is too much to bear.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/personality

Take that personality test, and you may be enlightened on why you behave the way you do sometimes. It may have a lot to do with the type of person you are.

The West promotes extroverted judging types of personalities; some people, however, are very intuitive, feeling types. They don't fair well in extroverted environments not because something is wrong, but because of the environment - period.

I have similar anxiety when I go out. I cannot stand being in a room of people... especially people who are charged (angry, sad, etc.) I "absorb" those anxieties and it affects me.

Sometimes, I may have a mood change and not realize it was because of people I was around. Some personality types are highly empathetic. Some are highly intuitive.

If you take that test and determine your personality type be sure to read every descriptive word about that type.

And just so you know, I tried to "fail it" four times, and stI'll came out with the same results. I will take it again now, and post my results and let you know of they are different.


As far as the meds go, I want to be very careful giving advice about that. For now, indulge me with the test results, please. It will hopefully give you perspective on yourself.

What you see as your worst attributes may be the thing that saves you, and a lot of other people.

 

[Aldebaran]

http://www.humanmetrics.com/personality

Take that personality test, and you may be enlightened on why you behave the way you do sometimes. It may have a lot to do with the type of person you are.

The West promotes extroverted judging types of personalities; some people, however, are very intuitive, feeling types. They don't fair well in extroverted environments not because something is wrong, but because of the environment - period.

I have similar anxiety when I go out. I cannot stand being in a room of people... especially people who are charged (angry, sad, etc.) I "absorb" those anxieties and it affects me.

I haven't taken that test, but I read an article in Psychology magazine about introverts and it was a real eye-opener. I felt like the author knew me personally! It sure explained a lot!

 

[tatteredsoul]

Here are my results OP: I tried for the 5th time to throw the test and I still got the same results:

http://www.humanmetrics.com/personality/infj

I used to self harm, curse, and do a lot of destructive things before I just sat down and actually thought about my existence. Then I found out about INFJs, and the 15 other personality types, and everything began to make sense. I even told my parents to take the test, and their results made perfect sense when considering everything and how we interact.

When you get to the point of controlling and compartmentalizing your very active brain (which is a gift,) you will see your talent and value.

For me, extreme introversion allows me to "go into myself," but lately I have used it to allow me to go deep into myself and approach God. In other words, introversion is my "natural 'Zen' door" to God and relaxing in Him.

But, it certainly didn't happen like this overnight.

 

[NicoleWilliams]

Oh, I am so sorry to hear that you’re struggling – my heart goes out to you. I know that the kind of emotions you described are often hard to deal with. I am also concerned that you’re contemplating suicide. I suggest you to get help right away, friend. Maybe just try to talk to your family or even trusted Christian adults. In the meantime, what kind of coping mechanisms do you have? Do you journal, exercise, draw? Finding good positive coping skills that work for you is going to be important. Please know that there are people who can and will help you with what you are going through. Above all, remember, that God loves and cares for you deeply. Your life is precious no matter what issues you’re facing. I just said a prayer for you. Hugs!

 

[Manuletha1995]

Oh, I am so sorry to hear that you’re struggling – my heart goes out to you. I know that the kind of emotions you described are often hard to deal with. I am also concerned that you’re contemplating suicide. I suggest you to get help right away, friend. Maybe just try to talk to your family or even trusted Christian adults. In the meantime, what kind of coping mechanisms do you have? Do you journal, exercise, draw? Finding good positive coping skills that work for you is going to be important. Please know that there are people who can and will help you with what you are going through. Above all, remember, that God loves and cares for you deeply. Your life is precious no matter what issues you’re facing. I just said a prayer for you. Hugs!

Thanks for replying and praying for me. I've been trying. I read the bible and I keep a sheet of paper in my wallet for when I deal with a anxiety attack in public or anywhere. I do excercise and I talk to my brother and mom about my issues. They encourage me but the anxiety doesn't seem to go away no matter what I do.. There's times when I'm okay and times I'm not. I tend to feel very depressed when I encounter an anxiety attack and I'm down for days and I have to push myself to keep going. I also have been listening to positive music and saying positive affirmations about myself. It's hard but there's nothing I can do. I just have to keep fighting even when I feel like there's no fight in me left

 

[NicoleWilliams]

Thanks for replying and praying for me. I've been trying. I read the bible and I keep a sheet of paper in my wallet for when I deal with a anxiety attack in public or anywhere. I do excercise and I talk to my brother and mom about my issues. They encourage me but the anxiety doesn't seem to go away no matter what I do.. There's times when I'm okay and times I'm not. I tend to feel very depressed when I encounter an anxiety attack and I'm down for days and I have to push myself to keep going. I also have been listening to positive music and saying positive affirmations about myself. It's hard but there's nothing I can do. I just have to keep fighting even when I feel like there's no fight in me left

I understand it's easy said than done, and I can only imagine what you're going through. I will continue to pray for you. May God deliver and heal you according to His perfect will, friend. Hugs!

 

[Manuletha1995]

I understand it's easy said than done, and I can only imagine what you're going through. I will continue to pray for you. May God deliver and heal you according to His perfect will, friend. Hugs!

Thank you❤️

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Cohncelling never seems to help me. I've been to several churches where pastors were rude and just blamed me! As for friendships it's hopeless. I can't make friends no matter how hard I try. That's a whole different story in itself...

Man this totally describes me right now-- I woke up from a nightmare, again... I understand about throwing in the towel...i really do. I get tired of waking up from nightmares but I want to make sure I go to heaven.

So dont wish you had the courage for something so bad, once you're gone youre gone..and I'm sorry about your pastor , alot of people dont understand mental illness-- so you hafta bear with them. But to blame you for it is crazy... As if you chose to be that way. I'm sorry you experienced that.

 

[Manuletha1995]

Man this totally describes me right now-- I woke up from a nightmare, again... I understand about throwing in the towel...i really do. I get tired of waking up from nightmares but I want to make sure I go to heaven.

So dont wish you had the courage for something so bad, once you're gone youre gone..and I'm sorry about your pastor , alot of people dont understand mental illness-- so you hafta bear with them. But to blame you for it is crazy... As if you chose to be that way. I'm sorry you experienced that.

I'm sorry for your nightmares my dreams are not the best either. Yeah I know.. It's not fair. It just all seems soo hopeless at this point but what can I do you know? I'm still reading the bible. That's all there is to do.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I'm sorry for your nightmares my dreams are not the best either. Yeah I know.. It's not fair. It just all seems soo hopeless at this point but what can I do you know? I'm still reading the bible. That's all there is to do.

I know right, all we can do is keep holding on.