I can't find a good denomination for me!

[Zecryphon]

Hey, I gave my life to christ in July 05', but I was raised catholic, so the idea of a personal relationship with christ was a completely foreign concept to me. I'm 18, and I'm going away to college in the fall, and there's so many options for churches, it's unbelievable. But my problem is I'm torn between catholicism and something like baptist/bible church. I believe in a theistic evolution, a personal relationship with christ, waiting until marriage and so forth. I also don't believe in putting down other's beliefs, and that you won't necessarily go to hell if you don't believe in christ. I'm actually very confused on that latter part, as my ex bf/best friend recently died,and I'm not sure what his faith was really like, but he was such a beautiful and wonderful christian-like guy, that he had to go to heaven! I'm also not that into communion and saints, but also not into evangelizing....I love helping people, just for the good of mankind, like God/Jesus wants me to help people all over the world, and put aside my faith, and just help them. I also believe in peace and basically only peace, and that people shouldn't be persecuted because of their beliefs or sins(depending actually on the sin...like breaking an actual law)
Now if you believe in any of these things, thats great, wonderful, I just don't believe in the things mentioned above that i disagreed with. My question is: What type of church would someone reccommend to someone like me, and I took a online quiz and it said I was a quaker, but I'm not sure if thats quite right...just some advice would be great. thanks

Check out the Non-Denominational church. They should fit you like a glove based upon everything you've said here.

 

[Texas Lynn]

Check out the Non-Denominational church. They should fit you like a glove based upon everything you've said here.

But isn't every single nondenominational church by definition its own unique animal so to speak?

 

[Zecryphon]

But isn't every single nondenominational church by definition its own unique animal so to speak?

Not in my experience. All the ND's I've been to and I was a member of one for 6 years, they all held to the same basic beliefs that the OP has. The OP basically wants to pick and choose which aspects of the Christian faith she will adhere to. People such as this are generally very happy in ND churches. You're right also, in that there is a spectrum involved, some ND churches are very conservative and some are very liberal and some are somewhere between the two. She'll have to go to a few different ones, of course. But I'm sure it won't take her long to find one that fits her nicely.

 

[Texas Lynn]

The OP basically wants to pick and choose which aspects of the Christian faith she will adhere to.

Seriously, every Christian is thus; the only difference is in the specifics.

People such as this are generally very happy in ND churches.

My problem with ND churches is what they stand for is hidden. And you won't know, once you step through their doors, whether they're either secretly a cult or closet Unitarians, and even then only after careful study, which if noticed in the former case can lead to a boot out the door.

Everybody knows what Catholics and Baptists and Episcopals are like. NDs are a riddle wrapped in an enigma.

 

[Zecryphon]

Seriously, every Christian is thus; the only difference is in the specifics.

I disagree.

My problem with ND churches is what they stand for is hidden. And you won't know, once you step through their doors, whether they're either secretly a cult or closet Unitarians, and even then only after careful study, which if noticed in the former case can lead to a boot out the door.

Everybody knows what Catholics and Baptists and Episcopals are like. NDs are a riddle wrapped in an enigma

You and I have the same problem with the ND church. I have yet to be in an ND church that is actually a cult, but it is possible to enter one that is Unitarian in it's views. You'll have to attend a church for a while to find out what they actually believe, and a great way to find out what they believe is to sit down with the pastor and ask questions. Often times, a church will veer away from their statement of faith in practice.

Since the OP does not want to partake of Communion, and that's something I've never seen any Christian want to abstain from, and since she thinks good people get into heaven and that we play a role in our salvation, the ND church is probably her best bet. They tend to be very middle of the road and don't adhere to any specific set of doctrines as laid out in a book like Anglicans, Lutherans and Catholics do.
.

 

[billwald]

Quakers are good (sane) people. Give them a try.

 

[CreedIsChrist]

It really depends on what you want from a church. With Catholicism you get the authority of the hierarchy, but also a chance to get to know a lot of really neat people who are priests, nuns, laity, etc. But if you want changes- like ordination of women, allowing priests to marry, etc.-it will be frustrating.

With some of the more conservative/fundamentalist groups, you will get authority without the formality and sensuality of Catholicism, and sometimes the demands for conformity may be overwhelming, unless you are just the conforming sort who is willing to buy into the system.

I've seen the sort of online questionnaire where you said yours said you should be Quaker. I think my top three were Quaker, Unitarian, and Methodist (I'm the last of those) probably the same quiz. The thing about Friends (Quakers) is they are conservative in temperment, loving but reserved people, who are soft-spoken and plain (their worship in the smaller groups is called "meeting" and involves everyone sitting around a table), and they are hard to find outside the areas where they already have congregations.

I might recommend experimenting and recognizing it doesn't have to be right every time and we are all in the right place in our own individual spiritual evolutions.

Some things I might recommend trying:

1. Try a more non-formal Catholic Group like the Paulist Center in Boston where Senator John Kerry attends. Catholic student centers at universities are similar. Just walk in and speak to the staff (usually a nun or a monk runs the day-to-day operations and a priest comes in to give Mass).

2. Try a racially mixed conservative congregation with good music and a decided lack of politicization of their services. Be careful before committing to join though-learn how they're structured and avoid ministries which are nepotistic and lack accountability.

3. Try the liberal mainline churches if they're dynamic and diverse. Someone mentioned the Episcopals: Robin Williams (the comic and actor) is one and said they offer "all of the pageantry of Catholicism and none of the guilt" and "male and female, we ordain both". A good recommendation indeed!

based on your very liberal theology I wonder why you recommend a Catholic or conservative Church as the first 2.


Personally I think its good to be honest to what your faith teaches. For instance if your more a democrat, or pro-"choice", or take the bible in more a loose fashion don't become a Catholic or a Baptist. You''ll just end up pushing your beliefs onto a system that simply will not accept yours. Nancy Pelosi is a good example of someone not honest with their faith. Or like you said above, John Kerry who is very pro "choice" yet continues to take communion(something that is very against the Church and considers almost a sacrilege). These people are not honest with the faith they represent and are much better suited to a church that is more open to the things they support, thus they are not good examples to use.


Personally, if you wanna get serious with Christ it is best to join a Church with an apostolic connection, meaning a historical connection with the apostles and there successors(Orthodox, Catholic, Armenian, Oriental, Coptic, etc). These Churches are very solid in their doctrine and are not wavering like alot of modern-day churches are that seem to blow hot and cold in the wind. For instance, I would NOT recommend an Anglican/episcopal church, because they change so much on doctrine and what they teach that they do a disservice to they're laymen. Stick to a church thats solid in doctrine and won't comprimise..A church that compromises they're beliefs for the world is a Church that is worldly, not heavenly.

 

[Saint_Rita]

When I left the church, I was striving for that personal relationship that you speak of. Maybe I wasn't applying myself as others have mentioned, but honestly - I was going through the motions and I wasn't being spiritually fed.

My advice would be to seek out bible-teaching churches that focus on that personal relationship. It took me a couple years after my official decision to leave the church, but eventually I found a church home that fit our family. And PTL!!! Because of this my DH now has that same relationship I've been praying for all these years.

Pray and actively seek, etc. God will eventually show you where you need to be.

 

[nhisname]

Hey, I gave my life to christ in July 05', but I was raised catholic, so the idea of a personal relationship with christ was a completely foreign concept to me. I'm 18, and I'm going away to college in the fall, and there's so many options for churches, it's unbelievable. But my problem is I'm torn between catholicism and something like baptist/bible church. I believe in a theistic evolution, a personal relationship with christ, waiting until marriage and so forth. I also don't believe in putting down other's beliefs, and that you won't necessarily go to hell if you don't believe in christ. I'm actually very confused on that latter part, as my ex bf/best friend recently died,and I'm not sure what his faith was really like, but he was such a beautiful and wonderful christian-like guy, that he had to go to heaven! I'm also not that into communion and saints, but also not into evangelizing....I love helping people, just for the good of mankind, like God/Jesus wants me to help people all over the world, and put aside my faith, and just help them. I also believe in peace and basically only peace, and that people shouldn't be persecuted because of their beliefs or sins(depending actually on the sin...like breaking an actual law)
Now if you believe in any of these things, thats great, wonderful, I just don't believe in the things mentioned above that i disagreed with. My question is: What type of church would someone reccommend to someone like me, and I took a online quiz and it said I was a quaker, but I'm not sure if thats quite right...just some advice would be great. thanks

When we take Christ as savior, the Holy Spirit comes and dwells within us....we die to the flesh everyday so the Holy Spirit can take over and work through us not the other way around..it's not what we can do for our Father but what he can do for us, through us. Pray to him and let him take over....stay in God's word.

 

[daydreamergurl15]

I disagree.



You and I have the same problem with the ND church. I have yet to be in an ND church that is actually a cult, but it is possible to enter one that is Unitarian in it's views. You'll have to attend a church for a while to find out what they actually believe, and a great way to find out what they believe is to sit down with the pastor and ask questions. Often times, a church will veer away from their statement of faith in practice.

Since the OP does not want to partake of Communion, and that's something I've never seen any Christian want to abstain from, and since she thinks good people get into heaven and that we play a role in our salvation, the ND church is probably her best bet. They tend to be very middle of the road and don't adhere to any specific set of doctrines as laid out in a book like Anglicans, Lutherans and Catholics do.
.

I attend Church of Christ which is non-denominational and I can assure you that your generalization of all ND churches are incorrect. And FYI, the doctrines that CoC adhere to is the bible. I know I am speaking of CoC while you are generalizing all ND churches but if you can think like that about one ND church, I can only imagine the other ND churches that you are incorrect about.

And by the way, to the OP, I know this is 3 years old but if you look back on this thread, I hope that you found a church that you can serve Christ. It is not for us to pick and choose different aspects of the worship. Worship the way God has asked because it pleases and glorifies Him.

 

[Zecryphon]

I attend Church of Christ which is non-denominational and I can assure you that your generalization of all ND churches are incorrect. And FYI, the doctrines that CoC adhere to is the bible. I know I am speaking of CoC while you are generalizing all ND churches but if you can think like that about one ND church, I can only imagine the other ND churches that you are incorrect about.

And by the way, to the OP, I know this is 3 years old but if you look back on this thread, I hope that you found a church that you can serve Christ. It is not for us to pick and choose different aspects of the worship. Worship the way God has asked because it pleases and glorifies Him.

If you would be so kind as to go back and read my post again, you will see that I did not make a generalization of ALL ND churches. I spoke of my experience in ND churches I have attended personally to TexasLynn in my first post. Later on, I commented on another thing I have observed within the ND church and that is how they are typically middle of the road.

They have to be to attract the huge numbers they get. They take very few official stances on doctrine and in my experience have always taught incorrectly about salvation, promoting semi-pelagianism, teaching baptism is symbolic and an outward demonstration of an inward decision or commitment, and teaching that the Lord's Supper is symbolic only. I had the same experience in an Ev. Free church too, so it's not only the ND churches I've been to that I have a problem with in regards to teaching.

But, they are the most popular among Christians right now because for some reason, nobody wants to belong to a denominational church. A lot of people are anti-denominational. I know this because I've seen it on these boards with comments like "demon nation" when they should be using the word denomination.

As to the CoC being ND, I don't find that to be true. I went looking at your beliefs and you are very-well grounded in the Bible and it's practices. Since I did not attack the CoC, you really have no issue with me. This site explains why CoC is actually a denomination and not ND.

http://www.learnthebible.org/church-of-christ-doctrine.html

 

[daydreamergurl15]

ND means that they are autonomous from a head governing authority. CoC is autonomous from other CoC. And yes, we look the same and hold almost identical beliefs because it is biblical doctrine. You might consider CoC to be denominational but we are not. We are not under any authority of a CoC head, it's just us. And I understand that the article claims that we are denominational because we have the same set of beliefs but that's only because of the way he defined denomination.

If your generalization of ND were those of the emergent churches than I apologize for assuming something wrong. But since we are considered non-denominational that's why your post bothered me.

 

[Texas Lynn]

I disagree.



You and I have the same problem with the ND church. I have yet to be in an ND church that is actually a cult, but it is possible to enter one that is Unitarian in it's views. You'll have to attend a church for a while to find out what they actually believe, and a great way to find out what they believe is to sit down with the pastor and ask questions. Often times, a church will veer away from their statement of faith in practice.

Since the OP does not want to partake of Communion, and that's something I've never seen any Christian want to abstain from, and since she thinks good people get into heaven and that we play a role in our salvation, the ND church is probably her best bet. They tend to be very middle of the road and don't adhere to any specific set of doctrines as laid out in a book like Anglicans, Lutherans and Catholics do.
.

Yes-a nondenominational church can be anything. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I understand the desire to be separated from the church body's authority and the obligation to pay them.

But nobody-nobody-should join a church merely due to the comfort you feel. Study their beliefs. Learn their structure. Be especially wary if the Senior Pastor's son is a youth pastor or whatnot. Ask to see by-laws and attend board meetings and run, don't walk, if they discourage you from that in any way.

 

[Zecryphon]

ND means that they are autonomous from a head governing authority. CoC is autonomous from other CoC. And yes, we look the same and hold almost identical beliefs because it is biblical doctrine. You might consider CoC to be denominational but we are not. We are not under any authority of a CoC head, it's just us. And I understand that the article claims that we are denominational because we have the same set of beliefs but that's only because of the way he defined denomination.

If your generalization of ND were those of the emergent churches than I apologize for assuming something wrong. But since we are considered non-denominational that's why your post bothered me.

I don't buy it. I never mentioned CoC in my post and limited my comments to the ND churches I have personally visited and observed and the one ND church I was a member of for six years. If you're gonna take issue with everyone who has a problem with the ND church as having a problem with the CoC, because you consider CoC to be ND, then you have a lot of fights coming your way.

 

[Zecryphon]

Yes-a nondenominational church can be anything. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I understand the desire to be separated from the church body's authority and the obligation to pay them.

But nobody-nobody-should join a church merely due to the comfort you feel. Study their beliefs. Learn their structure. Be especially wary if the Senior Pastor's son is a youth pastor or whatnot. Ask to see by-laws and attend board meetings and run, don't walk, if they discourage you from that in any way.

I don't understand what you mean by being separated from the church body's authority. They still have authority over you and can enact church discipline against you if your actions call for it as per Matthew 18:15-20. But that depends on how conservative or liberal the ND church in question is. I also don't understand your point about not having to pay an ND church. Are you talking about tithing? Every ND church I have visited passed the collection plate.

The ND church I was a member of was a huge ND church with a campus and a membership list that numbered 10,000+. A lot of those people pledged money to the church that they would pay throughout the year. The figures of what was pledged and what had been collected were printed in the bulletin each week. One of the last bulletins I saw said that 36,000,000 had been pledged but only 18 million of that had been collected.

As to your second paragraph, the things you listed people do are the things I did not do in the ND church I was a member of for 6 years. I was taken in by the large campus, the church library, the music and the exquisite sanctuary. Their beliefs were pretty close to the Evangelical Free so it was a good fit for a number of years, but I never really investigated what they believed. I was told they believed similar to the Ev. Free so that was good enough for me.

It was when I started growing in my faith and got interested in creeds, and the historical church and things like real presence in Communion and Baptism that I found out that this church was no longer a good fit. So I left. But it's news to me if anyone can walk into a board meeting and attend it. My understanding is that those are for the members of the board.

Now, in this church the senior pastor's son was not the youth pastor. In my former ND church, the youth pastor was an Arminian while the senior pastor was a 4-point Calvinist. LOL Talk about being at different ends of the salvation spectrum. I got out of there as soon as I found out that they said they didn't confess the creeds, they confessed the Bible. I don't know what they think a creed is.

But I also got a different answer to each question depending upon who I talked to. But in a church with 20+ pastors, that's bound to happen. That church is just too big for it's own good, but the people love it and flock to it every Sunday. In fact, so many people love it they bought more property to build yet another bigger church and campus. It's out of control. The senior pastor left and is now president of the seminary here, so I have never met the new pastor they hired, so I can't say if the church is better or worse off than it was before.

 

[daydreamergurl15]

I don't buy it. I never mentioned CoC in my post and limited my comments to the ND churches I have personally visited and observed and the one ND church I was a member of for six years. If you're gonna take issue with everyone who has a problem with the ND church as having a problem with the CoC, because you consider CoC to be ND, then you have a lot of fights coming your way.

I am not going to sit here and argue with you because you think that CoC is a denomination. I specifically told you in my first post that I know you were generalization ND churches and that I was talking about one specific ND church CoC. CoC has always been known to be a ND Church and that is why your post bothered me. If you can think that way about one congregation that is known as ND (simply because you don't, doesn't change the fact that it is considered non-denominational. My goodness, you can even go to many CoC websites and look at the statements and you will see that they themselves are said to be non-Denominational), imagine all the other churches that you are generalizing that might be wrong. You can continue to bash ND churches, I'm through.

 

[Zecryphon]

I am not going to sit here and argue with you because you think that CoC is a denomination. I specifically told you in my first post that I know you were generalization ND churches and that I was talking about one specific ND church CoC. CoC has always been known to be a ND Church and that is why your post bothered me. If you can think that way about one congregation that is known as ND (simply because you don't, doesn't change the fact that it is considered non-denominational. My goodness, you can even go to many CoC websites and look at the statements and you will see that they themselves are said to be non-Denominational), imagine all the other churches that you are generalizing that might be wrong. You can continue to bash ND churches, I'm through.

You came to me with your complaint that I was slamming the CoC with my comments that were addressed to the ND churches I had visited and been a member of for six years, so yeah, you ARE apparently going to sit here and try and argue with me, because that's all you've been doing by posting to me. Remember you came to me with this, I didn't come to you.

If you go back and read my post you will see that I did not generalize ALL ND churches. I agreed with Texas Lynn that there is a spectrum of belief when it comes to the ND church, some are liberal, some are middle of the road, and some are conservative. I limited my comments to my experiences with the ND churches I've been to. I have never been to a Church of Christ, but as I said before your CoC is very Biblicaly grounded in their beliefs. So other than you not understanding my post, I have no idea what your problem is with me. You think I'm generalizing the ND as a whole when I have not done that. So if you wanna continue on this rant, knock yourself out, but I don't have time for petty squabbles over simple misunderstandings of posts. I have better things to do with my time.

 

[doulos_tou_kuriou]

Going back to the original topic of this thread, as a Lutheran I would let you know that we certainly emphasize the deep relationship God has with his people, both individually and corporally. Our central doctrine is Justification by Faith Alone.
As to your various beliefs and opinions, I would not necessarily say that any of the Lutheran denoms would embrace them all, and but some will be more "accepting" of your diversity. What I would most enocurage though, is that while you ask the church to understand you and why you believe things you likewise understand it. And at times be willing to consider changing. The church has throughout history revisited and discussed various issues. As you become a part of a body, whatever body that be, I encourage you to join that dialogue and embrace its decisions. It is worth while hearing what it has to say, and your input into that discussion is important.
Blessings on your faith journey.
pax

 

[OzSpen]

Sweet guitarist,


I can understand your dilemma. I’ve been a Christian for 45 years and I’m finding the contemporary evangelical church not addressing the biblical mandates for community, every member ministry, and evangelism.


Have you considered investigating the house/cell church movement? I consider that this approach to church is closer to that of the first century. Touch International Ministries might be able to recommend a cell church in your locality.


You might like to read these articles as background:
“Cell Church International”
“Cell Churches”
“Ten Largest Cell Churches”
“Cell Churches Find Their Calling”
“Cell Church Pages”


I am in the early stages of a cell church plant in Australia.


Sincerely, Spencer


P.S. Are you really a guitarist? i play a Martin D28.

 

[Angelic_Neon77]

Well you could always be non-denominational. I just feel the need to worship God through church attendance, prayer, and Bible reading. That's all God really wants, is or us to love him and other people, just as we are loved. I personally don't believe in tons of rules and regulations to earn God's love. It was freely given to us while we were still sinners! I hope this helps