I can't feel.

[delicate_flower]

It's like my heart is gone. When I cry, I don't feel anything on the inside. When I laugh, I still feel nothing. All the emotions I express are purely on the outside. It's like I'm dead trying so hard to be alive. Sometimes I get this idiotic idea that my heart isn't even beating. I've been feeling like this for some time now, I never thought anything of it because I thought it would go away. It hasn't. It's been with me for a little over a year. Nothing touches my heart like it used to.

People say I always look so sad or detached, and I hardly smile a genuine smile. I used to take pleasure in singing, writing, talking, laughing, etc, but those things don't appeal to me anymore. Music (the love of my life) is also losing its purpose to me. I've been depressed before in my life but not like this. Everything has lost their meaning because I have lost the ability to feel. I'm hollow on the inside; there is no heart.

When I pray, I can't feel anything, I only talk. I try to feel God there with me but I feel nothing. Why can't I feel anything anymore?

 

[ceedaisy]

Depression is a demon all on its own. I was the same way my whole life until three years ago! Then I felt a strong urging to ask my girlie doctor about antidepressants. And now my whole life has changed. I was saved before that and my life did change for the better, but this depression kept my focus blurred and made me feel alone and unloved. But after getting my "happy pill" those feelings went away, and now I know the new me. I felt like I was living two different lives. One for everyone to see and the other when I was by myself and would cry until I couldn't breathe. If you are able to, talk to a doctor about your feelings. It is nothing you have done to yourself. And maybe not to try so hard in trying to feel God is with you. Concentrate instead of His love for you. And it is okay to be honest with God and tell Him how you really feel. He knows already anyway. A lot of Christians in the Bible were discouraged and angry and told God so and still He blessed them. Don't keep to yourself. Surround yourself with friend and/or family and try to stay active. Live for God.

 

[mikeforjesus]

"When we are in trouble we are allowed to complain to God, as the Psalmist often, but must by no means complain of God"

I got that from somewhere...
Ive felt the same way as you before for a long time I think... but when you are in such a state when you get better I think you can feel for all sorts of depressed people because you've been deeper maybe...

Somethings I think that affect me apart from prayer and reading the bible.. is things such as taking the body and blood of the LORD Jesus Christ and thinking about eternal tortures.. you weep but then God comforts you.. you feel more alive after that... Antidepressants might help too.

 

[mikeforjesus]

Anyway david the pslamist felt the same way too I think and other holy people..
not always its from sin, maybe since you are into music.. its to give you deep words that affect people... who knows but God?
anyway I will say a short prayer for you now.

 

[mikeforjesus]

I recommend you go to my post
Very Nice Song for Depressed People
http://t2188041-very-nice-song-for-some-depressed-people.html

 

[PorcelainHeart]

I know what you mean, it's hard for me to feel anything or even care because of my depression. Most of the time I'm depressed for many reasons. I do hope you feel better, depression is so hard to deal with, and to make it more hard, everyone wants to think your alright when your truly not. I will tell you this, your one of the most beautiful girl I ever seen. I'm where you are now, if you want someone to talk to I will talk to you.

 

[NinadeDios777]

praying for ya hun.

 

[TheWinterGaze]

see a doctor, delicate_flower. I am on Fluoxetine and it makes me feel so much better!

 

[Yamialpha]

Heavenly Father
Please be with this girl
Her heart is burdened and her cross is heavy
The price tags of life seem overwhelming, yet value remains hidden
Please fill her heart with feelings
Let her touch happiness again
Let her walk in this life be joyful and with divine purposes
In Jesus's Holy name I pray
Amen

 

[GPfounder]

Hi

I too suffer from periods of deep depression, and have just started to come out of one period that has lasted many months and was deeper than any I have had for some time.
Personally, I find that anti-depressants make me feel worse, because I resent being dependant on them, but that's just my own personal reaction.

I can empathise to some extent with the 'not being able to feel'. I also struggle with 'normal prayer to God' for this reason. By this I mean that I cannot seem to feel close to God in prayer, it is just words and even then I struggle to find them. Yet I can write prayers, either my own, or adaptations of others I have read. I have only done one recently, but I do have several others which I am in the process of copying to CF. There are 6 here at present.

Perhaps you might like to take a look at them?? Especially Nos 1,3,4.

God Bless You.

 

[NinadeDios777]

prayed for yas.

 

[PolskiKrol]

Thats excellent. You're in the desert with our Lord- your ego is dieing, and the appropriation which you view created things needs only to be recapitualated in 'the simplicity of the Love which finds all things in God.'

"Love consists not in feeling great things, but in having great detatchment, and in suffering for the Beloved."

If you haven't read Thomas Merton's "Thoughts in Solitude," I'd definitly recomend going to your local borders or barnes and nobles and picking up a copy.

 

[Knowledge3]

It's like my heart is gone. When I cry, I don't feel anything on the inside. When I laugh, I still feel nothing. All the emotions I express are purely on the outside. It's like I'm dead trying so hard to be alive. Sometimes I get this idiotic idea that my heart isn't even beating. I've been feeling like this for some time now, I never thought anything of it because I thought it would go away. It hasn't. It's been with me for a little over a year. Nothing touches my heart like it used to.

People say I always look so sad or detached, and I hardly smile a genuine smile. I used to take pleasure in singing, writing, talking, laughing, etc, but those things don't appeal to me anymore. Music (the love of my life) is also losing its purpose to me. I've been depressed before in my life but not like this. Everything has lost their meaning because I have lost the ability to feel. I'm hollow on the inside; there is no heart.

When I pray, I can't feel anything, I only talk. I try to feel God there with me but I feel nothing. Why can't I feel anything anymore?

God is able pierce and shine light into any situation.God's majestic intervention is able to bless and create flowers in any darkness or tomb you may be going through in your spiritual battles.

If I can help you with a neat story, there is little cute soul/skeletal figure I see in my spiritual vision about the size of a thumb and he gets real agitated at my continous curiousity but is he a friendly soul even though he rests in solemn death he waits on God and the Light because he represents a type of prayer and happiness not found anywhere else....

I hope I have inspired you.

~K3

 

[mikeforjesus]

there is little cute soul/skeletal figure I see in my spiritual vision about the size of a thumb and he gets real agitated at my continous curiousity but is he a friendly soul even though he rests in solemn death he waits on God and the Light because he represents a type of prayer and happiness not found anywhere else..

what does this mean?
A person who gets agitated when people look at him?

 

[Knowledge3]

Does one think it is possible to preach the Gospel and shed some light into the lives of cultures such as Korn, Slipknot, or any of the dark metal bands??

Hmm.

In my prayers with God, I get alot of things revealed to me. There is an air of darkness or demonic influences in those dark metal cultures...I am trying to pinpoint the problem of darkness. I recognize demons and thier intimidating appearances..As a result, the persons under the spiritual oppression & influence don't see things in the way that God wants them to.


I am focused at this area that has been neglected by church, because church and church people are only focused on thier particular inward issues...The power of the Gospel needs to be preached to darkness.

I'd have to say the deafening dark and brooding sounds of death metal wreak havoc on self-esteem and issues of psychology, demons and satanic forces are afraid of God's majesty and holiness.

That is my prayer analysis on the situation.

 

[itsgood]

a pentecostal who can't feel that's like an anglican that can't argue haha hmm excuse my cynicism no seriously neither can I