I can't do this anymore (long post)

[circa02]

I've posted for years here about my curse of being single and lonely, and I honestly can't remember if I've talked about my porn addiction. I've been struggling with both for over 15 years, and I am now a broken man. I have begged God every day for help, anything, and nothing has happened; I can't fight this anymore. I'm extremely horny ALL the time, and at 33 and still never even been on a date, I realize and accept I will always be alone, never to marry.
A big part of my porn addiction is my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and it leads me to seek out all sorts of sick things to generate relief, and on top of that, I always am thinking about and wanting sex, and I'm just unable to fight anymore; I'm so tired of being assaulted by these carnal desires that I can never fulfill, again because I not only never will marry, I don't even want to anymore. I don't have the constitution for a marriage, it's too hard, not that I ever will have the chance anyway.
I need sex, touching yourself is horrible, and it must be better to have normal sex with a consenting partner then to engage in fantasies so horrible and sick, I dare not ever reveal them. WHY won't God help me? Hasn't he promised he will always provide a way out for us? I can't live like this, the guilt, the anguish. I know you guys can do nothing but pray, and I would very much appreciate that.

 

[1watchman]

It sounds like you need a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus, rather than just praying to a god you don't know. Have you read John 1; John 3; John 14, then asked God to teach you what He is showing? Salvation for a soul and peace and blessings comes from confession to God --the Father, of a sinful life and thoughts, and then communion with the Savior and making the Lord Jesus your best Friend, Savior and Lord of your life. Nothing else will satisfy a soul and give peace. I will pray for you.

 

[SamanthaMathis]

It can be difficult to give up something that is easy to do. There may be other things to distract yourself with. It can be difficult living with the guilt, but many young boys and men try to cope with their loneliness in the same way you are.

 

[grandvizier1006]

Hey, I don't know how much I can help, but you're not alone. I've struggled with ocd and porn, too. I used it for mindless pleasure, sometimes to drown out anxious thoughts about everything else, other times I was just bored. You can fight this, but not on your own. Talk to a therapist, a pastor, get a filter and further your relationship with God.

 

[yuppers]

Hey my brother in Christ. I used to struggle with porn and masturbation as well. I'm thankful I'm free from porn, but masturbation is still a bit of a struggle sometimes. I want to tell you what I did that helped me.

Being lonely was one of the main causes for me to look at porn. When you become lonely the devil has a lot easier time to lie to you. Are you in a good church? Are you involved with the people there? Find yourself some good male friends to hangout with and fill your time. Try to get out of the house more offen. Take a step of courage and go get some help. I had to go to counselling through my church to become free. Taking to someone helps release you of the shame and embarrassment you have. Yes it's akward to tell someone what you struggle with. Yes you become uncomfortable but after all that is over there is freedom. Brother I say this out of love to you. Don't let the devil lie to you that you will never become free from this. You can overcome this. Take the right steps and say NO MORE to your struggles. Pray about it and then take action. Prayer without doing anything doesn't help.

God sees the desires in your heart. God always wants the best for use. Just because the desire is there doesn't mean he always grants it in our time. He is moulding you and shaping you to the man he wants you to be. Open yourself up to his will for your life. Maybe he wants to use you to share your testimony to help others. I will pray for you brother.

 

[SamanthaMathis]

It may be easier to talk to someone, maybe even a stranger who is willing to listen, its just easier to unload and speak frankly since there is very little they can judge or hold against you, since they don't know you.