Usual story! I am afraid of a specific punishment I asked from God.
the punishment is to make me change my appearance to something worse like "make my ears or nose bigger" and I would not be able to see if this happened or not. like hypnosis. I would be seeing the normal face but actually the truth is worse. all others would be able to see that except me. if I ask them how I would be hearing a lying answer that would say that I am same as usual but actually I am not.
Since its not a visible punishment I asked for signs. a lot of coincidences happened that made me think that they were signs from God.
1) I asked God to give me a nosebleed if He punished me with the way I asked. I did not get any. Later, I was thinking about it like " SINCE I DID NOT HAVE A NOSEBLEED WHEN I ASKED IT AS A SIGN, THEN THE PUNISHMENT DID NOT HAPPEN" at that second I saw a thumbnail with a kid having a nosebleed from a trailer of stranger things 2
2) I asked God to give me 5 twitches in my eyes area (I almost never have any twitches in my eyes). I froze myself and made a countdown til the twitches to happen. if I reached 0 I was free. I started counting but before zero I felt one big twich under my eye. I never have them!
3) I was in lying down and desperate. I was talking to God. I asked Him for a clear sign. If He had punished me with the way I asked to hear or to make someone open the door anywhere in the building where I live before countdown. Boom! Although, at the last second I changed my mind and refused that request, I heard someone unlocking and opening his door. There were days, that I was waking up in the morning and my mind was randomly telling me stuff like "Now I will hear a door opening and it will be a bad sign" BOOM! between 2 or 10 seconds most of the times, I was hearing a door opening. it was not a dream cause I checked it. it happened many times. Also, many times I was thinking about the punishment or writing to this forum about my problem, there were times that my mind randomly saying stuff like "now that I would be writing a "specific" word about the punishment, I would hear a door opening. And many times it happened. I was reading an article about God's signs. When I rolled down I saw a random picture with the slogan like " THIS IS A SIGN FROM GOD" when I saw it I heard the door opening again.
4) many internet stuff that reminded me my punishment. words, pictures etc. I randomly searched a book summary in wiki and the ending was "Salo returns Constant to Earth where he dies of exposure in wintertime Indianapolis while awaiting an overdue city bus and as he passes away, he experiences a pleasant hallucination secretly implanted in his mind by a compassionate Salo" it reminded me my punishment. hallucination! me not being able to see my true face. One other time, I entered reddit chatroom with so many users. many posts per minute. I read someone saying something like " I am ugly but when I see myself in the mirror, I see a hot guy". that reminded my punishment! me not being able to see the truth. I look myself in the mirror and see a good looking guy but that is not true. I closed the chatroom and thought it as a coincidence maybe. I reopened it some minutets later, when I opened it boom! someone typed the word "Jesus" I felt like it was a sign from Jesus. what troubled me more is the timing. sychronicities with the sound. like dog barking car alarm rigging when I was thinking about the punishment. I onced woke up and my mind predicted that I will hear a car alarm. it happened! I was like "that is the same experience I had with the door" BOOM! at that second I heard a door opening! I freaked out! too many coincidences! I was thinking about the punishment one day, and heard a dog barking. my mind was like "ha! it is just a coincidence. I would suspect as a sign if the 3 sounds that troubled in the past happen together" the dog kept barking for some minutes and boom! A CAR ALARM STARTED RIGGING and the same time I hear A DOOR OPENING. I WAS LIKE [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]! what are the chances of 3 big coincidences happening the same time and some minutes after my mind thought of it?
5) I stayed in an airbnb apartment. and I saw book with the title "SIGN OF GOD" I freaked a little.
I don't know what to do. I always end up with my mind making promises and breaking them. I don't exactly make the promises. I just somehow accept them randomly. I cant buy specific products from market or buy stuff that have discount. I cant use some metro stations, I even thinking of quiting my job because I my mind due to stress made a random promise that I accepted somehow, it was not to have any business in a norma specific street. ( did not know that my job will be there). I feel trapped. miserable. even when I pray, I pray in a specific way and repeate the same stuff. please pray for me? it would do me some good if you could comment in the coincidences. could they be from God telling me that the invisible punishment I asked happened?
there was a promise that I somehow accepted.I was anxious and saying to myself I should not buy food from this street. that's it I wont have any business at all with that street. i don't remember much. I don't remember if I was saying this to myself or to God. but the difference from ocd promises is that this was a promise that I think I accepted. and now I fear everytime i will go to job i would be breaking the promise. every time, the punishment will happen.
the punishment is to make me change my appearance to something worse like "make my ears or nose bigger" and I would not be able to see if this happened or not. like hypnosis. I would be seeing the normal face but actually the truth is worse. all others would be able to see that except me. if I ask them how I would be hearing a lying answer that would say that I am same as usual but actually I am not.
Since its not a visible punishment I asked for signs. a lot of coincidences happened that made me think that they were signs from God.
1) I asked God to give me a nosebleed if He punished me with the way I asked. I did not get any. Later, I was thinking about it like " SINCE I DID NOT HAVE A NOSEBLEED WHEN I ASKED IT AS A SIGN, THEN THE PUNISHMENT DID NOT HAPPEN" at that second I saw a thumbnail with a kid having a nosebleed from a trailer of stranger things 2
2) I asked God to give me 5 twitches in my eyes area (I almost never have any twitches in my eyes). I froze myself and made a countdown til the twitches to happen. if I reached 0 I was free. I started counting but before zero I felt one big twich under my eye. I never have them!
3) I was in lying down and desperate. I was talking to God. I asked Him for a clear sign. If He had punished me with the way I asked to hear or to make someone open the door anywhere in the building where I live before countdown. Boom! Although, at the last second I changed my mind and refused that request, I heard someone unlocking and opening his door. There were days, that I was waking up in the morning and my mind was randomly telling me stuff like "Now I will hear a door opening and it will be a bad sign" BOOM! between 2 or 10 seconds most of the times, I was hearing a door opening. it was not a dream cause I checked it. it happened many times. Also, many times I was thinking about the punishment or writing to this forum about my problem, there were times that my mind randomly saying stuff like "now that I would be writing a "specific" word about the punishment, I would hear a door opening. And many times it happened. I was reading an article about God's signs. When I rolled down I saw a random picture with the slogan like " THIS IS A SIGN FROM GOD" when I saw it I heard the door opening again.
4) many internet stuff that reminded me my punishment. words, pictures etc. I randomly searched a book summary in wiki and the ending was "Salo returns Constant to Earth where he dies of exposure in wintertime Indianapolis while awaiting an overdue city bus and as he passes away, he experiences a pleasant hallucination secretly implanted in his mind by a compassionate Salo" it reminded me my punishment. hallucination! me not being able to see my true face. One other time, I entered reddit chatroom with so many users. many posts per minute. I read someone saying something like " I am ugly but when I see myself in the mirror, I see a hot guy". that reminded my punishment! me not being able to see the truth. I look myself in the mirror and see a good looking guy but that is not true. I closed the chatroom and thought it as a coincidence maybe. I reopened it some minutets later, when I opened it boom! someone typed the word "Jesus" I felt like it was a sign from Jesus. what troubled me more is the timing. sychronicities with the sound. like dog barking car alarm rigging when I was thinking about the punishment. I onced woke up and my mind predicted that I will hear a car alarm. it happened! I was like "that is the same experience I had with the door" BOOM! at that second I heard a door opening! I freaked out! too many coincidences! I was thinking about the punishment one day, and heard a dog barking. my mind was like "ha! it is just a coincidence. I would suspect as a sign if the 3 sounds that troubled in the past happen together" the dog kept barking for some minutes and boom! A CAR ALARM STARTED RIGGING and the same time I hear A DOOR OPENING. I WAS LIKE [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]! what are the chances of 3 big coincidences happening the same time and some minutes after my mind thought of it?
5) I stayed in an airbnb apartment. and I saw book with the title "SIGN OF GOD" I freaked a little.
I don't know what to do. I always end up with my mind making promises and breaking them. I don't exactly make the promises. I just somehow accept them randomly. I cant buy specific products from market or buy stuff that have discount. I cant use some metro stations, I even thinking of quiting my job because I my mind due to stress made a random promise that I accepted somehow, it was not to have any business in a norma specific street. ( did not know that my job will be there). I feel trapped. miserable. even when I pray, I pray in a specific way and repeate the same stuff. please pray for me? it would do me some good if you could comment in the coincidences. could they be from God telling me that the invisible punishment I asked happened?
there was a promise that I somehow accepted.I was anxious and saying to myself I should not buy food from this street. that's it I wont have any business at all with that street. i don't remember much. I don't remember if I was saying this to myself or to God. but the difference from ocd promises is that this was a promise that I think I accepted. and now I fear everytime i will go to job i would be breaking the promise. every time, the punishment will happen.
