I Can Only Imagine

[sportsfan]

When I listen to praise music it brings such comfort to me it makes me realize that this stuff on my forehead, stomach, hands isn't real and that Satan isn't really in my heart and brain and I am not really a false prophet even though the sun looks different and I see stuff on my knuckles. I start to imagine what it really will be like standing in front of Jesus as he welcomes me into Heaven and he tells me, "Well done my good and faithful servant." The yellow cross is just a hallucination planted by Satan to make me doubt the goodness of God and to make me think I lost my name from the Book of Life. The more I read in the Bible disproves this theory the only thing that can cost your name from the Book of Life is changing the prophecy of Revelation at the end of the book that is the only promise of God erasing a name from the Book of Life it says nothing about a Yellow Cross that flickers light that I had no control over since it was a visual hallucination making it an unfair temptation to be tricked out of salvation. I haven't changed the prophecy of Revelation or changed scripture and that is the only true way of losing your name from the Book of Life. I think my salvation truly is secured in Jesus and that I will see him in heaven he is the Waymaker and he is a miracle worker. I am looking forward to seeing my friend who is in YWAM and I realize that this False Prophet stuff is nonsense and lies from Satan to discourage me and to make question the faithfulness of God. God promised to never leave or forsake and with that it means I don't have to focus on the Yellow Cross. I can just listen to praise music and read my bible. I haven't blasphemed the Holy Spirit in the Yellow Cross. I just need to trust my pastors who see the Holy Spirit in me including friends and family and the Church. Heaven will be so beautiful the cities of Gold and the beauty of being with Jesus forever and all of these Satanic hallucinations will be gone forever their won't be a Yellow Cross to haunt me in heaven. Satan will lose and his false prophet and the Antichrist will be in the Lake of Fire. I will be in presence God forever and ever and I look forward to LCC's Selah were we just worship the Lord from Genesis to Revelation. God is the same God yesterday and forever. Jesus is the Alpha and Omega he is the beginning and the End and I have nothing to fear nothing can separate me from the love of God not principalities or demons. Satan's Yellow cross and accidentally mixing up Satan with Jesus can't separate me from the love God and the Book of Life. I will build my life on the truth of Jesus Christ and no longer let fear get in my way Satan is not in my heart and brain I have the Holy Spirit and people see him in my life that is how I know that this is just a hallucination from Satan and how I know that I will be in Heaven when I die or get raptured. Pastor Nathan told me on Sunday that he sees the fruit of the Holy Spirit in my life and he doesn't see Satan and the Holy Spirit bears witness with believers and no one has told me they see Satan in my life. In fact when I was depressed and in the Hospital a chaplain said she sees the Joy of the Lord in my life and that I have smile ministry she didn't see this dark spirit in my life that it feels like. I can build my life on the truth of the Gospel of Jesus and help kids at Awana come to know a saving knowledge of Jesus and I can relax and await and look forward to Jesus coming as he will rapture me despite the devil's lie that I am not able to be raptured because I have done the unpardonable sin. I realize that I am in war with my mind it is what Schizoaffective, OCD Scrupulosity, Pandas, and Autism can do. I am fighting my brain and the enemy who accuses me of something I could not have done. A Christian can't blaspheme the Holy Spirit and it can't be done through a hallucination it would not be a fair tactic. The Apple Eve took from the Serpent is a real tangible item that led to all the sin in the World. I realize that the Yellow Cross didn't trigger events of the end times and it didn't turn me into a false prophet. It is not a real tangible temptation although Satan claims he was tempting me in the Yellow Cross it was a visual hallucination and it wasn't real it wasn't an apple in front of me it was a yellow flickering light that talked to me that I had no control over and now it claims that I blasphemed the Holy Spirit my parents aren't worried nor is my family they know that I would never blaspheme the Holy Spirit. I realize that Heaven is going to beautiful and one day it be well with my soul when the clouds are rolled back like a scroll and Jesus returns. I look forward to the day the cross paid for all my sins including the Yellow Cross. God knew from the beginning of time that I would stumble in the Yellow Cross and he still forgives me and has my name in his Book of Life so I can still praise him knowing that I am not the false prophet from Revelation 13 rather a Child of God from Revelation 3 who will be clothed in white garments when the trump sounds I am the Thief that repented of my sins who Jesus today said surely you will be in paradise. The devil is lying to me about this false prophet stuff and how he placed the Mark of the Beast in a hallucination of a yellow flickering light. I know that Jesus is bigger than what is going on with my life and that is why I believe my parents are so relaxed about this situation as they would be depressed if I really was going to hell. I still go to Church events and I go about life normally as possible and treat everyday as I new day. God's mercies are new every morning and great is his faithfulness he promises to never leave or forsake. My sin not in part but the whole is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more. Praise the Lord! I am not forsaken I am just mentally ill and for some reason I think that I am a false prophet it isn't true as I am a child of God. I am so curious what the Rapture is going to be like and going to home to see my savior and to claim my crown. I know that I am excited that this misery on Earth is only temporary and that one day the Earth will fade away and I will be in the New Jerusalem forever in God's presence blessed be the name of the Lord. The journey isn't going to be easy it is going to grind everyday until the Lord returns he promised to never leave or forsake and I did not blaspheme the Holy Spirit in the Yellow Cross. The Yellow Cross doesn't define me as a human it is mental illness. The fact that we have a loving God who knows the struggle that I am facing daily thinking Satan is in my heart and brain drives me insane even though I know it is true. God will get me through this insanity and his Holy Spirit will guide me people see his fruit in my life and I trust them that is how I feel confident that I will be raptured and saved from the evil day that is how I know that I am not a beast or antichrist. God knows that I am struggling and that I moment of weakness in the Yellow Cross won't define my eternity God is God of love and he gave me the Holy Spirit he won't take it away from me I have read so many articles and they all say that you can't lose the Holy Spirit or get your name erased from the Book of Life. I want more of God daily and his presence in my life and I look forward to see my friend in YWAM today it should be a nice visit as I just relax in God's presence and I aim to move past the Yellow Cross. I want God to create in me a clean heart and this fear that he took the Holy Spirit to go away. I want to be a Godly man and to be freed from this fear of the Mark of the Beast. God will win and he already sent Jesus who crushed the serpent's head if I wasn't following the Lord I would not have this fear of blaspheming the Holy Spirit. God will win and he will rescue me.