Honestly, I do not know what to do. I've convinced myself that in today's society, it is alright to have sexual relations before marriage and since people are getting married later in life versus the old days, you have ye olde sexual urges. I can't ignore them. It makes me feel less human to try to put them out of my mind. Sex is a human thing to do and everyone needs it, no matter who they are. I think that because of my attitude towards sex, I am getting further away from religion. I don't know what advice I am asking of anyone, but I could use some discussion....
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I am tempted often.
- Thread starter schuh
- Start date
f U z ! o N
I fall like a sparrow and fly like a kite
and yet think how beautiful it is to say on your honeymoon
"I have saved myself for you!"
Don't fall into the lies of Satan
"I have saved myself for you!"
Don't fall into the lies of Satan
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findinghope06
Child of the Risen Lord
f U z ! o N said:
Amen.
we dont need sex. Sex is a gift from God which allows us to bring new life into this world. we got blessed that its enjoyable too (not that i would now but from what ive heard
) it is a part of human nature but when you resist before marriage you are strengthening yourself for when you are married. do you expect sexual urges to go away for other people once you are married? i dont. but because im saving myself for my husband, not only am i giving him a priceless gift but im giving him a vow to be with him and only him. and if temptation ever presents itself, i know how to keep away from it. does that make sense? PM me if you want to talk more. i would love to try to help you.
like the above poster said, dont fall for satans lies. look to God and His Word for strength and answers.
God Bless you
in His love
Stephanie
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It's perfectly normal to feel sexual, so relax about that.
What you decide will depend very largely on where you are at with God, and how well founded your Christian faith is. If you have a shaky faith you will find it pretty easy to 'relax' some standards.
It's not awlays easy being single and sexual. But it's not life threatening, just uncomfortable at times. God's principles are there for our benefit, not to unduly restict us, but there can be conflict between desires and what is best. This is true in many other areas as well of course.
John
NZ
What you decide will depend very largely on where you are at with God, and how well founded your Christian faith is. If you have a shaky faith you will find it pretty easy to 'relax' some standards.
It's not awlays easy being single and sexual. But it's not life threatening, just uncomfortable at times. God's principles are there for our benefit, not to unduly restict us, but there can be conflict between desires and what is best. This is true in many other areas as well of course.
John
NZ
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eatenbylocusts
Senior Veteran
You are probably right when you say you are getting "farther away from religion". Sin tends to do that to us when we continue to be disobedient. If we keep trying to ignore the Holy Spirit's voice it can become harder and harder to hear.
There are so many reasons to keep sex for marriage. It's not just about being obedient-it's really for our benefit. If you start having sex with someone the relationship takes another turn and you may stop or slow down really getting to know the person. If they turn out not to be good for you, it will probably be a lot harder to walk away from the relationship, or you may just stay in a bad relationship. (Been there, done that.) If the relationship ends without marriage, a part of you really gets taken away. I don't think it has to feel that way forever, but that is probably why it's so hard to end a relationship even when it needs to be over. Also there's the risk of an unplanned pregnancy, STDs-some of which can kill you, raise your risk for cervical cancer, etc. Not all STDs are curable.
And who are you having sex with? A non-christian? You shouldn't even be dating a non-christian. And if he's a Christian you're helping him to hurt his relationship with God. Even if it is his idea.
I don't want to be responsible for leading my bf away from God. I want to help draw him closer. My bf and I have had some conflict in this area. I'm reading something right now that has been helpful. I'll probably post something about it later.
When I was in high school a lot of the people around me were experimenting with Marijuana and I knew I shouldn't try it, but I felt like my religious beliefs were getting in the way of me trying things out like everyone else. One day I realized that I really had my own decision to make. My religion wasn't keeping me from doing those things-I had a choice. I don't know if that makes any sense, but realizing that I was free to make my own decision (reap the consequences too), made it easier to do the right thing.
There are so many reasons to keep sex for marriage. It's not just about being obedient-it's really for our benefit. If you start having sex with someone the relationship takes another turn and you may stop or slow down really getting to know the person. If they turn out not to be good for you, it will probably be a lot harder to walk away from the relationship, or you may just stay in a bad relationship. (Been there, done that.) If the relationship ends without marriage, a part of you really gets taken away. I don't think it has to feel that way forever, but that is probably why it's so hard to end a relationship even when it needs to be over. Also there's the risk of an unplanned pregnancy, STDs-some of which can kill you, raise your risk for cervical cancer, etc. Not all STDs are curable.
And who are you having sex with? A non-christian? You shouldn't even be dating a non-christian. And if he's a Christian you're helping him to hurt his relationship with God. Even if it is his idea.
I don't want to be responsible for leading my bf away from God. I want to help draw him closer. My bf and I have had some conflict in this area. I'm reading something right now that has been helpful. I'll probably post something about it later.
When I was in high school a lot of the people around me were experimenting with Marijuana and I knew I shouldn't try it, but I felt like my religious beliefs were getting in the way of me trying things out like everyone else. One day I realized that I really had my own decision to make. My religion wasn't keeping me from doing those things-I had a choice. I don't know if that makes any sense, but realizing that I was free to make my own decision (reap the consequences too), made it easier to do the right thing.
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eatenbylocusts said:
Oooooh.
I don't think that's a right thing to say.
I believe in the three monotheistic religions of the world, Islam, Judaism and Christianity, since they are highly related.
Also, as a citizen of the world, I don't shun love from a beautiful person, judging on who he was borne to. That would just lead to unhappiness.
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f U z ! o N
I fall like a sparrow and fly like a kite
Jesus said He was the only way. Not Mohammad and not Judaism. Jesus came and died for us. mohammad didn't. Put your trust in Christ.schuh said:
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AutumnDreamer
Well-Known Member
The first thing you need to figure out is who are you following? Jesus, or the world? If you choose to follow Jesus then you must follow what He says, including sex is for marriage only. If you decide to follow the world, or another religion, then it really doesn't matter what we say or what the bible says b/c you will not be living by the same standards.
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invisiblebabe
He will restore the years the locust hath eaten
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Imagine the tears and the expression of hurt on your future spouse's face, when you have to tell him you didn't wait.
If you wait, you are blessing your marriage someday. If you don't wait, you are sowing for yourself and your future husband many, many hurts and issues.
If you wait, you are blessing your marriage someday. If you don't wait, you are sowing for yourself and your future husband many, many hurts and issues.
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hasnoname
Senior Member
As CS Lewis pointed out...Jesus was one of the three things.schuh said:
A lunatic- a man claiming to be God out of a lack of mental stability
A liar- a man claiming to be God and lying to manipulate people
Or God- God...who claims to be God
Christ specifically claimed to be the Son of God. He therefore cannot be just a good person as every other religion claims he is. He is either God or a liar. Now based on all the great things He did, the prophesy He fulfilled, and his realness in believers lives...
Therefore, take a stance...either Christ is God and every other religion is false or Christ was a liar, and while every other religion could be legit...Christianity is based on a liar's life...and therefore wrong.
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Catholic Wife
Senior Veteran
Since you are a Christian, don't buy into the lies being told by today's society that it's okay to have sex before getting married -- even if people are getting married later in life. I know all about urges, but you can pray to God to help take away those sexual urges until the time for them is right -- when you are married. It is time for you to decide how you want to live -- for Jesus or for the world.schuh said:
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eatenbylocusts
Senior Veteran
Deliberatetourist said:
Yeah, how about one just to keep them under control and a healthy dose of self-control.
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Catholic Wife
Senior Veteran
How about this?Deliberatetourist said:
Lord, help me to accept and receive my sexuality as a gift from you. Grant me the grace to resist the many lies that distort this divine gift and help me to live my sexuality according to the truth of self-giving love. Grant me purity of heart so that I might see the image of your glory in the beauty of others, and one day see you face to face. Amen.
or this?
Lord, this physical body is a member of your Sonyour templeyour dwelling place. It is not my own to do as I please. You have bought me with the high-priced passion of your Son. When I unite myself with you, I am one with you in spirit. Help me to concentrate on your holiness, peace, faith, a love that permeates all things, and to be in union with those who call on you with pure minds. Amen.
I also recommend that everyone, single and married, read Theology of the Body by Pope John Paul II (and any of the books that help explain it).
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Deliberatetourist
Veteran
Been there done that. Thanks for trying. As for "Theology of the Body", I could only interpret it as a pro-celibacy tome that in my opinion has never done anything but make people feel guilty about experiencing perfectly natural sexual urges. Some people (few in comparison) can accept the celibate lifestyle in its entirety and some cannot. If this work by our great Pope has helped you then I think thats great but also realize that this same pope prisided over a Clergy that included many members guilty of unspeakable attrocities toward young children. Not everyone can handle celibacy.PerkyCurlz said:
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chocolateloverjen
ALSO: ricloverjen AND godloverjen
schuh said:
hey im kind of the same...
i get tempted so much. my boyfriend and i are trying so hard not to do it. we are doing really well. we just remember about what God has done for us if those thoughts come into our minds. it helps.
i used to be like whats the problem with sex before marriage cos i mean ric and i are in love and i feel like ive been forever, we wouldnt be having sex we would be making love which is totally diferent cos it isnt dirty. but like it took a while but we finally went to my cousins church and my cousins uncle was preaching (hes a minister) and his words just stopped us and like made us think.
i dont know where im going. i just know how you feel and i cant describe it.
pm me if you like. or tlk on here. dont know if actually helped.
guessing you got a boyfriend?
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It sounds like you have a lot of questions about your faith, not just where you stand on sexuality. And if you don't know where you stand, you will probably fall - just the way it is. I would try to take sex and even relationships completely off the table until I could figure out who I believe is the Savior and what I'm even supposed to be striving for.
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charligirl
Senior Veteran
Until you know who you have your faith in I can't see an end to your situation.
The fact you have sexual feelings is only natural, God is the one who gave them to you, but don't believe the lie that you can do nothing about it.. we are not dogs who have to follow their urges with no self control.
Sexual urges such as you are describing are either driven by your mind/emotions or it is spiritual and you need prayer. Why do you want sex so much? what does it represent to you? Is it love? acceptance? not being alone? there must be something more to it than just enjoying the sensation, people are not just so physiclaly highly sexed that they just cannot help themselves, it's not a physical addiction like heroin.
Sex is not just a gift from God it is akin to holy communion, when we take communion we remember and reaffirm the covenant Jesus gave us, when we have sex with our spouse we remember and reaffirm the covenant we have with them.
It is pure, holy worship to God when it is done in the way He intended. When it's done outside of the covenant of marriage it is defiled, sinful and degrading to God.
Pray for wisdom on what is driving you because it's not just a case of physiological urges you have to give in to, there is more at the root and God can help with that. Merely praying for them to go away will not work until you unravel and deal with the cause.
The fact you have sexual feelings is only natural, God is the one who gave them to you, but don't believe the lie that you can do nothing about it.. we are not dogs who have to follow their urges with no self control.
Sexual urges such as you are describing are either driven by your mind/emotions or it is spiritual and you need prayer. Why do you want sex so much? what does it represent to you? Is it love? acceptance? not being alone? there must be something more to it than just enjoying the sensation, people are not just so physiclaly highly sexed that they just cannot help themselves, it's not a physical addiction like heroin.
Sex is not just a gift from God it is akin to holy communion, when we take communion we remember and reaffirm the covenant Jesus gave us, when we have sex with our spouse we remember and reaffirm the covenant we have with them.
It is pure, holy worship to God when it is done in the way He intended. When it's done outside of the covenant of marriage it is defiled, sinful and degrading to God.
Pray for wisdom on what is driving you because it's not just a case of physiological urges you have to give in to, there is more at the root and God can help with that. Merely praying for them to go away will not work until you unravel and deal with the cause.
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