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I am getting depressed.

Discussion in 'Disability & Chronic Health Issues' started by Norman70, Jan 12, 2019.

  1. Norman70

    Norman70 Active Member

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    I looked forward to my retirement from school teaching after a wonderful God-given life (somewhat sinful - not criminal, just over-indulgence in worldly pleasures), and married my marvellously spiritual Christian wife when I was 50 years old.
    We are now approaching our 80's but our retirement pleasures took a blow when I contracted a chronic wound on my ankle at 71 years old.
    My fantastic wife has dressed it twice per week for six years, I have had three hospital stays which included a failed skin graft, but my wife keeps going on without complaining, cooking, cleaning and looking after me. If it wasn't for my love for her, and of course my overwhelming appreciation of her love for me, I would give up.
    We do not go to church, we pray together, our doctor, a nephew, is our only confident whom we can fully trust. I sometimes think of the elderly couple who stayed in bed in the film "Titanic" whilst everyone else was rushing around on the deck of the sinking ship. For us, the sinking ship is the world, it is doomed.There abounds so much wickedness, corruption and hedonism.
    Sorry for the rant, but where do we go from here!?
     
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  2. messianist

    messianist Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Trust
     
  3. WESTOZZIE

    WESTOZZIE Active Member Supporter

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    Yes Norman, but where sin does abound(in this doomed world) grace does MUCH MORE ABOUND. I am reminded of the marathon race. I once ran a marathon in my 20's. At about the 14 mile mark my legs went to jelly and I could only walk and jog a little till I made it across the 26 mile finish line...the Ambulance was following along behind me and another guy a little further behind me. But we both made it to the end of the grueling marathon. This is also what Hebrews 11 and 12 is all about and maybe you could read it daily as your wife dresses your wound my older brother? Moses endured by seeing Him who is invisible, but you get to see Him in your wife every day. You are being kept for salvation ready to be revealed in the last day....you shall receive the victors crown...you are His favoured son in whom He is well pleased Norman. You are being shaken a little so that what remains shall endure. You are a partaker in His holiness as you have been being chastened for that very purpose.....white garments purified through fire...Bless you Norman! Bless you!
     
  4. sunshine100

    sunshine100 Love God Love people Supporter

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    that is very true,the world is a sad,wicked,and very scary place to live in,I would say for you and your wife to go to church,and pray as much as possible,and have other people pray for you,including the pastor.
     
  5. Norman70

    Norman70 Active Member

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    Thank you for your prayers everyone.
    When I read that I get to see God in my wife every day, @WESTOZZIE, I cried! I was on my own in bed, my wife was busy in the kitchen.
     
  6. WESTOZZIE

    WESTOZZIE Active Member Supporter

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    Last year, actually in 2017 now, I had a heart operation to repair a badly leaking mitral valve. My wife(who is an enrolled nurse) was there for me everyday after the operation as I struggled with severe pain through the nights. Yes brother , we know that Jesus is a man....but he sure is a wonderful woman as well!!
     
  7. cv5

    cv5 New Member

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    Hello Brother.
    You have my sympathies. Thank God for the blessing given in your wife. Many would envy you in that regard.
    Recall that Isaac was losing his eyesight, and perhaps thought he was about to die when he decided to give his final blessing to Esau (Jacob). He was not dying and lived for probably about 40 more years. We all undergo physical suffering even the best of us and worst of us. I guess we must go on and endure to the end believing.
     
  8. Mountainmanbob

    Mountainmanbob Goat Whisperer Supporter

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    It saddens me that you and your wife don't attend church.

    My wife and I sure do find a lot of support in the church and good preaching always comes as a sweet thing to the heart and mind and soul.

    M-Bob
     
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  9. Norman70

    Norman70 Active Member

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    @Mountainmanbob. Many thanks for your concern about the lack of attendance by my wife and myself in a local church.
    This forum is probably not the place to hold a discussion but, with prayers to God, I will try to briefly submit our reasons. Firstly my physical disabilities make it very difficult for us both. Secondly our experiences with established Churches in the past, both with pastors and other members have been lacking in any sort of spiritually uplifting experience. Thirdly I am intellectually inclined towards Christian Anarchy, and although my wife is very uncomfortable with the word anarchy she is a very free-spirited person and quite adverse to human authoritarianism.
    We continue to pray together, believing Jesus is with us, and ask Him to help us spread knowledge of the Word of God (Himself, Jesus).
     
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  10. cv5

    cv5 New Member

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    I have to admit and confirm.....my experiences at "Churches" in my area has been for lack of a better term abysmal. The last couple of churches were freed-wheeling groovy hippy liberal type churches (unshaven pastor, with aged parishioners showing up in sandals and Hawaiian shirts...and tattoos). Both (interestingly both) had sermons that were very clear that Bono (of U2 fame) was an authority in the Church and used his name when speaking from the pulpit. I left the one….for good. I actually confronted the guest pastor in the other and chastised him saying that it is perfectly obvious to any born-again discerning Christian that Bono is NOT SAVED. He was conciliatory enough, but never recanted. I also preached on that issue in that church for a few weeks.
    Oh yes...at that church they sing the "new" hymns about love love love (some kind of hippy evidently), vapid, meaningless, lovey-dovey, and utterly lacking in glorifying God and Christ.
    Haven't been back since.
     
  11. Norman70

    Norman70 Active Member

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    Our experiences of Churches has been rather different but with the same result - we stopped going. The sermons were too long, and boring, the congregation seemed mostly asleep and no-one was invited to participate, if anyone wanted to anyway, and we experienced little or no fellowship.
    But enough of this, my wife and myself will continue to pray, ask God for help to endure, guidance, and protect us from the wickedness of the world.
     
  12. cv5

    cv5 New Member

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    "Secondly our experiences with established Churches in the past, both with pastors and other members have been lacking in any sort of spiritually uplifting experience."

    "no-one was invited to participate, if anyone wanted to anyway, and we experienced little or no fellowship."

    I concur.....very similar experience.
    Really quite a shock. Did not break your faith or mine though.
    IMO this is the end-time falling away phenomenon.
     
  13. Norman70

    Norman70 Active Member

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    When I was in hospital one thing I did was to write. All I had was an A4 school exercise book, in 4 weeks I wrote 40 pages, with only a Bible and an SDA Quarterly to refer to. What I wrote may be nonsense but I felt inspired and it was something to do.
    At home now, still with marvellous care from my wife, when I am not too uncomfortable physically I am typing it out on the computer.
    Should I bother? Would anyone here be interested?
    I was motivated by reading the SDA Quarterly entitled "Oneness In Christ", and it prompted me by its support of the universal church of Christ, which to me this is in what the Christian Anarchists believe, in which I am very interested. I will continue to type it out and perhaps add some more. It helps my depression.
    Should I post it here, in bits, probably in the Christians Only Discussion and Debate Forum, sub-forum General Politics?
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2019
  14. Norman70

    Norman70 Active Member

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    Well,it seems no-one is interested so far. I accept that to refer to Christian Anarchism is a put-off for most Christians, some have already told me they have never heard of it!! I say again I am only interested, I do not claim to be one, and I have certainly no intention to proselytize.

    However a discussion, sharing my thoughts with other Christians, is what I would like. I cannot accept an eristic argument, because I will always believe that Tolstoy, Ghandi and Martin Luther King Jnr., both of whom were influenced by Tolstoy, should not be ignored in any Christian discourse. One person (not here) has already dismissed Tolstoy by saying he was an aristocrat and a misogynist. I think we call that an ad hominem attack.

    I will keep typing out my letters from hospital, at the time I thought that I was being inspired by God to do so, motivated by my reading of the Bible and the SDA Quarterly "Oneness in Christ". After all, the writers of the Bible were also supposedly inspired by God!
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2019
  15. Norman70

    Norman70 Active Member

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    Every morning I wake up early and stay lying in bed feeling depressed for two hours or more. I pray to God, thank everyone, including those here at CF, for their prayers, but little helps.
    My wonderful wife makes tea and I join her in the kitchen for it, after I have attended to my physical discomforts and disabilities. Another long day ahead for which I thank God. But life is not pleasant. God bless you all.
     
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  16. Norman70

    Norman70 Active Member

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    My chronic illnesses are not worsening, but they are not getting any better. My doctor tells me to keep my foot raised to assist the circulation to my ankle wound (we tried a skin graft but it did not take) which keeps me in bed all day. I use a wheelchair for toileting, keeping myself clean and taking meals with my wife at the table. I cannot sit for long in it therefore watching TV (I cannot get very interested in anything on it anyway) is uncomfortable, as well as using the laptop for typing. I am writing this with a small smartphone whilst lying in bed with my foot up.
    My wife comes in frequently but she is very busy as we have no other help. We have occasional visits and some help from family members, most of them are Seventh Day Adventists, but they too are busy with work or small children, therefore we are basically on our own - but with Jesus of course.
    I have just read this thread through again and it has helped. Thank you.
     
  17. Norman70

    Norman70 Active Member

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    I have taken this piece of a post of mine from a one thread I started in the Seventh Day Adventist Forum, looking for some response here. My wife has said perhaps we could consider becoming Muslim but I said we cannot become non-Christians.
    We have looked at the Jehovah's Witnesses, the Mormons offered considerable help, many of my wife's family are Seventh Day Adventists, and recently I have investigated the closed Plymouth Brethren. We are still searching foŕ true Christian fellowship, with only Jesus as our guide, who manifests Himself to me through my wife.
     
  18. Norman70

    Norman70 Active Member

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    I posted here in CF in the thread on Christian Anarchism, continually trying to lift myself up. There has been no response there so far. What do the good people here think about my post there? I pray to God continually, but Christian fellowship also helps. God bless you all.
    PS. I am going to try and copy and paste it here.
     
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2019
  19. Norman70

    Norman70 Active Member

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    Success I think!)
     
  20. Norman70

    Norman70 Active Member

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    Spiritually I feel very strong, inspired by my wife. Like Job I believe in God, have faith in Him, He is my supreme Comforter. However, reading the Bible and prayers and time spent in devotion, even with my wife, still leaves me depressed. Emotionally I am often a disaster, which brings my wife down as well, and physically our worldly medical services are ineffective. All I can do is continue to pray to God.
     
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