I am effeminate

[LilLamb219]

Isn't it God's will for me to obey his laws and believe in his son? Well, I did have a problem with lust. But recently gave up porn, which was str8 porn. I understand God wants me to obey him and not lust. But having strong gay desires is still sin? So just not acting on it isn't enough? Wow God has a lot of strict rules. It seems like I will never be good enough to avoid hell.

We cannot avoid hell by our own actions. It is rejection of the Savior that sends one to hell.

The only wait to avoid hell is through the Savior. He is the one who died for us on the cross in our place. We cannot earn salvation in any way, shape or form.

 

[Jesse2014]

So you obey God outwardly but you are unwilling for
Him to change your lust for men into unselfish love
because you are unwilling to give up your homosexuality to God.

If you trully want to please God in your heart more than in outward appearances,
you would be asking God to cause you to hate your sin
and you would give Him permission to do whatever it takes, even unto
the death of your old sinful nature, to destroy this stronghold in your life.

I am giving up my lust for men. Lust causes jealousy, anger, covetuousness, hatred, bitterness, unsatisfied life, etc. Why would an olympic runner who has to give up chocolate, go to a chocolate factory, only to crave chocolate and then later get bitter because she can't have chocolate. I do hate the sin. It's not pleasant lusting after people you can't have. So I am choosing to walk away from lust. And I am choosing to only have female friends.

 

[Jesse2014]

We are to be transformed and conformed into the full measure
and staure of Jesus Christ. This is God's word to us as believers.

Does Jesus lust after men sexually...NO

We are not talking about salvation, we are talking about living
our lives for God in Christ and growing more like Christ each
and every day.

If this causes us pain and suffering, it is only because we fight against
God's will as we refuse to allow Him to bring about the transformation He desires.

To say that we should be content to remain in our sin as we
are already saved, is to pervert God's plan for our lives
as His represenatives to those who need to see Christ in us.

This forum is for giving Godly advice, not our own best practices.

You are right it is to give godly advice. I don't see anything wrong with what you said. Please accept my apology. I did not mean to argue with you. I am just afraid of what might happen to me if I don't get a handle on my desires.

 

[Pal Handy]

I am giving up my lust for men. Lust causes jealousy, anger, covetuousness, hatred, bitterness, unsatisfied life, etc. Why would an olympic runner who has to give up chocolate, go to a chocolate factory, only to crave chocolate and then later get bitter because she can't have chocolate. I do hate the sin. It's not pleasant lusting after people you can't have. So I am choosing to walk away from lust. And I am choosing to only have female friends.

So all that you seem to lack is the faith to believe that God can
totally change your heart from one that desires men as a sexual
partner to one that would find God's good design in men being
attracted to women for the purpose of marriage and procreation.

Do you believe God can change your heart if you offer it to Him
unconditionally or do you insist that God is powerless and
it is impossible for the creator to change the heart of His created being?

The Bible is filled with examples of God changing the hearts of men or do you
believe that you are a lost cause.

 

[Jesse2014]

We cannot avoid hell by our own actions. It is rejection of the Savior that sends one to hell.

The only wait to avoid hell is through the Savior. He is the one who died for us on the cross in our place. We cannot earn salvation in any way, shape or form.

This is true, I know. It's just feeling like it's true is hard. Sometimes I feel like I have to earn it.

 

[aiki]

Wow. Very blunt. I wish it was that easy for me. I have been that way since I was very little.

I'm straightforward but I don't mean to be unkind.

You know, I didn't say the process of change would be easy. Being more like Christ is not easy for anyone. But this is the primary goal God has for every single one of His children - even the male ones who have been "girly" from a young age. So, you don't get to opt out or work in half measures in being like your Saviour because you've been the way you are for a long time. None of us get to use that sort of excuse for continuing as we are.

Selah.

 

[Jesse2014]

So all that you seem to lack is the faith to believe that God can
totally change your heart from one that desires men as a sexual
partner to one that would find God's good design in men being
attracted to women for the purpose of marriage and procreation.

Do you believe God can change your heart if you offer it to Him
unconditionally or do you insist that God is powerless and
it is impossible for the creator to change the heart of His created being?

The Bible is filled with examples of God changing the hearts of men or do you
believe that you are a lost cause.

I believe God can totally change me. To be perfectly I am afraid of what might happen if God changes me completely. Having gay desires isn't the only problems that I have. I am sociably anxious. I am very unfriendly to people. I am very scared of being hurt so I treat people like dirt before they hurt me. I am comfortable treating people like dirt and ignoring them when they say hi. I want my gay desires to be gone, but I am comfortable in my hate towards people. I know the Bible says if you don't have love you don't have eternal life, which I think is unfair. I have to put myself out there only to get hurt. I know God can change me. I just want him to change what I don't like. What if he fills me up with love towards other people? That idea is scary.

 

[Jesse2014]

I'm straightforward but I don't mean to be unkind.

You know, I didn't say the process of change would be easy. Being more like Christ is not easy for anyone. But this is the primary goal God has for every single one of His children - even the male ones who have been "girly" from a young age. So, you don't get to opt out or work in half measures in being like your Saviour because you've been the way you are for a long time. None of us get to use that sort of excuse for continuing as we are.

Selah.

I understand. I don't want to make excuses

 

[Jesse2014]

Even though I have these fears I am going to surrender.

 

[Pal Handy]

I believe God can totally change me. To be perfectly I am afraid of what might happen if God changes me completely. Having gay desires isn't the only problems that I have. I am sociably anxious. I am very unfriendly to people. I am very scared of being hurt so I treat people like dirt before they hurt me. I am comfortable treating people like dirt and ignoring them when they say hi. I want my gay desires to be gone, but I am comfortable in my hate towards people. I know the Bible says if you don't have love you don't have eternal life, which I think is unfair. I have to put myself out there only to get hurt. I know God can change me. I just want him to change what I don't like. What if he fills me up with love towards other people? That idea is scary.

Don't be afraid of God because He loves you and I know
that you will never be disappointed with the outcome of
God's hand on your life.

Yes there can be suffering but that is when God comforts us and
draws us closer to Himself in love and fellowship.

If everything is going well in our lives, we really have no need for
God and in fact we take Him for granted.

When we trully see our great need for God and His strength to carry on,
then we are finally in a position where God can break through
all our pride and self reliance and take us into His plan for blessing in our lives.

Don't fear what God will do in your life because once you see
His hand on your life in greater ways, you will come to trust Him
and know that everything He does is out of unselfish love for you
and for your ultimate blessing.

We see only what is in our temporary world but God looks
beyond this world to our place in His kingdom to come.

Christ was in heaven and then He came into the world and even with all that the
devil tempted Him with, it was not worthy to be compared to what God
has for all of those who receive His love in Christ.

Christ looked beyond the cross of suffering to see that God had a plan
to exault Him and bring all men through Him into everlasting life, love
and perfect fellowship with God our heavenly Father.

Do you think Christ regrets what His Father has done in His life?

Sure there was time of suffering and even a time when Christ wanted
relief from the burden He bore but in the end He surrendered to His Father,
knowing that God alone trully knows best.

Try to see the bigger picture and know that whatever you yeild to God
in this life will impact all of eternity.

This life is but a moment but our real life lasts forever.

Don't be afraid to say: God take it all as I trust in You and I
know that ultimately I will be blessed when I surrender to Your great love.

I know of plenty of people who failed to allow God control of their
lives who walk around broken, defeated and miserable but I do not
know of a single person who gave God all of themselves and regretted
that decision.

Don't fear the love of God for you.

God is our good and perfect heavenly Father and He is worthy of all of our love and trust.

 

[Jesse2014]

Thank you. I will surrender to his will everyday.

 

[Pal Handy]

Thank you. I will surrender to his will everyday.

A good read that helped me out is Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray.

Here's part one...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Stdfx6kIQL0&list=PLB3F153572FF0F1B5

 

[Paul of Eugene OR]

My mannerism is very girly. But I don't wear female clothing. As I have said before, I have gay desires. But I refuse that lifestyle because I know God hates it. But I am still effeminate. The Bible says that the effeminate will not inherit the kingdom of God. This terriffies me. I can't make myself be manly. The way I carry myself, the way I sit, the way I talk is very feminate. When I call a phone company or any of business, they always call me mam. Am I not going to inherit the kingdom of God?

Just avoid sexual contact with others except in the context of your own marriage (should you ever have one) and don't worry about the direction of your temptations. The direction of your temptations is not up to you what is up to you is what you do with your temptations.

 

[LoricaLady]

I would do a search with an online concordance on the actual, Greek, meaning for the English word "effeminate" that it has been translated into. I strongly suspect you will find it no way means feminine gestures and mannerisms. A lot gets lost in translation from Greek to English (and from Hebrew, which is what the "New" Testament was originally translated from by the Church "fathers".)

You didn't sign up for effeminate ways. You seem to not even want them at all. Good for you that you have not acted on your gay impulses. That is something to be very proud of. I know, from earlier posts you made, that you have had the opportunity, but you have not gone that way.

Sometimes people have hormonal imbalances. As I think I have said before. our waters are polluted with estrogen from women's birth control pills being urinated into the water supply, from industrial pollutants that act as estrogenic agents and so on, from some food additives, etc. etc. We live in a very toxic world.

Praying for you to be strong, and free, in Messiah.

 

[Jesse2014]

I would do a search with an online concordance on the actual, Greek, meaning for the English word "effeminate" that it has been translated into. I strongly suspect you will find it no way means feminine gestures and mannerisms. A lot gets lost in translation from Greek to English (and from Hebrew, which is what the "New" Testament was originally translated from by the Church "fathers".)

You didn't sign up for effeminate ways. You seem to not even want them at all. Good for you that you have not acted on your gay impulses. That is something to be very proud of. I know, from earlier posts you made, that you have had the opportunity, but you have not gone that way.

Sometimes people have hormonal imbalances. As I think I have said before. our waters are polluted with estrogen from women's birth control pills being urinated into the water supply, from industrial pollutants that act as estrogenic agents and so on, from some food additives, etc. etc. We live in a very toxic world.

Praying for you to be strong, and free, in Messiah.

Wow. Thank you for the information.

 

[Sketcher]

My mannerism is very girly. But I don't wear female clothing. As I have said before, I have gay desires. But I refuse that lifestyle because I know God hates it. But I am still effeminate. The Bible says that the effeminate will not inherit the kingdom of God. This terriffies me. I can't make myself be manly. The way I carry myself, the way I sit, the way I talk is very feminate. When I call a phone company or any of business, they always call me mam. Am I not going to inherit the kingdom of God?

You won't be damned for that. You're rejecting homosexual temptation, good for you. The temptation isn't what makes you sinful (Jesus was tempted with renouncing God, testing God, embracing greed, and worshiping Satan in the desert - yet he never sinned). It's saying "yes" to the temptation that counts against you, and this goes for any sin.

 

[Messy]

My mannerism is very girly. But I don't wear female clothing. As I have said before, I have gay desires. But I refuse that lifestyle because I know God hates it. But I am still effeminate. The Bible says that the effeminate will not inherit the kingdom of God. This terriffies me. I can't make myself be manly. The way I carry myself, the way I sit, the way I talk is very feminate. When I call a phone company or any of business, they always call me mam. Am I not going to inherit the kingdom of God?

Maybe you need deliverance. TB Joshua prays for youtube watchers on youtube. I was very manly and I dressed as a guy and had lesbian desires until they drove an unclean spirit out. Then it was over. It's not who you are. You are the righteousness of God, you are righteous and holy, your old man died with Christ. Start proclaiming that over yourself, although you totally don't see it and you will see that it is the truth what His Word says about you.

 

[Philpy1976]

You won't be damned for that. You're rejecting homosexual temptation, good for you. The temptation isn't what makes you sinful (Jesus was tempted with renouncing God, testing God, embracing greed, and worshiping Satan in the desert - yet he never sinned). It's saying "yes" to the temptation that counts against you, and this goes for any sin.

I'm glad you posted this!!

Yes, if merely being tempted with something was a sin then we have spent the best part of 2000 years wasting our time!!

What Jesus does show us is HOW to fight temptation, do it with scripture.
It also shows us that satan will use scripture too.

Are you sure this isn't what is happening here?

satan: You're quite effeminate
you: i know, so?
satan: The KJV says you won't see the kingdom
you: really?
satan: yup, might aswell just give up on it and sin, or just live in fear the rest of your life.

Scripture: he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ

Don't listen to the enemy!

 

[ihavefoundgod951]

My mannerism is very girly. But I don't wear female clothing. As I have said before, I have gay desires. But I refuse that lifestyle because I know God hates it. But I am still effeminate. The Bible says that the effeminate will not inherit the kingdom of God. This terriffies me. I can't make myself be manly. The way I carry myself, the way I sit, the way I talk is very feminate. When I call a phone company or any of business, they always call me mam. Am I not going to inherit the kingdom of God?

Could you go see your doctor and ask to have your hormone levels checked, its possible you have too estrogen, not enough testosterone.
This can be medicated with hormone therapy.

Please keep us updated

PS

Also you could try buying some anti estrogens tablets off ebay

God bless

 

[hedrick]

On effeminate. I don't think Paul is speaking about you.

"Both terms have received intense lexicographical scrutiny. Scroggs allows that while μαλακός may mean unmanly in general terms, more characteristically it is used of “the youth who consciously imitated feminine styles and ways.”146 This all too readily slips into “passive homosexual activity” whether for pleasure or for pay.147 From the classical period to Philo extreme distaste is expressed in Greek and hellenistic literature for the effeminate male who uses cosmetics and the coiffuring of the hair, for which Philo sometimes uses the term ἀνδρόγυνος, male-female (e.g., De Specialibus Legibus 3.37). These issues lie behind the astonishing array of English translations in our versions.148" (Thiselton's commentary on 1 Cor)

I don't think this fits you.

I would also point out the "lust" is the same word translated "covet" in other contexts. It's not just a sexual word. It used for anyone who wants something that isn't his. Jesus uses it in the context of the commandment against adultery, so he's thinking of someone who wants to have sex with some else's wife. However in Jewish usage it's broader, covering any prohibited sex.

But in my opinion lust doesn't refer to attraction. It refers to an intent to do something wrong.