Like many who've said it's not an overnight transition, the surrender of my will to Christ's has taken many years. In fact, to this day I'm conscious of the fact that I'm still a case in progress.
How does one define "accepting Christ?"
For me, it's how I'm faithful to His basic teaching of loving Him and others. If I'm unkind, impatient, boastful, arrogant, envious, angry, and untruthful, I assess myself as really not having accepted Christ.
It's one thing to say we accept Him, it's another to actually do what He asks.
I'm concerned when folks say they've accepted Jesus but act the opposite of His teachings, and then say "we're human, and He's merciful. That's why we ask forgiveness."
The psycho-analysts have a term for the genuine change in a person: behavior modification.
From being a monster to being a saint, one may invoke the Holy Spirit for help, but in my experience there is real work involved in changing behavioral patterns. Habits formed from birth to 10 years are considered to be deep-rooted. If we've built upon those habits for many more years before accepting Jesus, there's quite a bit of "unlearning" and "relearning" to do.
The euphoria of finally accepting Christ as the "standard" can be real, because for that person it may signal the end of a long search for the truth. However for the true rewards to come, which to me are peace and harmony with one's self and with others, it may take a long time, if not a life time (which would still be ok).
I guess I've just laid out reality with the above, using my case as the example. I was that "monster" who had a huge change to make. I was a "tough love" guy, justifying my unloving ways because I thought they were good for my wife, children, and other people. I was totally focused in making money and as a result, stressed out and unpleasant. It was normal for me to say nice words but not mean them just so I could get my way. I didn't kill anyone, or even inflict physical hurt, but I was a source of much pain and sorrow to people.
I didn't realize that I was creating my own hell instead of the "heaven on earth" that I believe Christ intended.
When I began to work on reversing my old habits into the ones Jesus taught, slowly but surely I starting feeling the small joys in life that weren't small after all. Like sincerely praising a check-out person at a store and getting a genuine smile in return. And listening with full attention to someone's problems, and seeing a sense of release and resolution in that person afterwards.
Is this the "new normal," the real meaning of being "born again?" If so, I liked it.
To me, that's what "finally accepting Christ" has meant. Hopefully what I've shared has added something meaningful
