Hypothetical scenario

[Life2Christ]

This is a hypothetical scenario: Let's say I have a friend and he's single and really wants to settle down. He knows a single woman who he is close friends with. They have deep conversations, they laugh, they have known each other for over a decade and they talk for hours. The problem is, he is not physically attracted to her (not his physical type). Should he follow his instincts and hold out for a woman he's into or go against his instincts and try to make things work with this woman (note: assume this woman is attracted to him and both are christian).

 

[dayhiker]

That's a touch one, Life. I do believe a situation like that can work. It kinda goes against the norm today because we want to have that attraction.
I've been in two relationships where my attraction towards the woman was limited. I let both women know that I felt that way and indicated to them that probably meant that I'd move on at some point. But if I didn't want to be as active as I am today and wanted to be home, not travel and maybe not even go to local social events that often, then settling down with someone who I enjoyed being with even if not attracted to her might not be so bad.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

IMO, I think he needs to find someone that he is physically attracted to. It's so sad that this seems to be a common problem with men. They want the eye candy more than the other qualities. BUT IMO, it would be hurtful to the woman if they did get together and at some point she finds out (or already knows) that she isn't his physical type. My husband wanted the model type and when I was younger I was closer to that, but never quite there. He made me feel like I was an elephant and looking back I only WISH I could be that FAT now LOL. And since I knew he wasn't physically attracted to me, did that make me want to perform in the bedroom? NO!
And this is actually a problem I have. I don't look how I want to look. I don't think my body is attractive. I think my face isn't so bad but my body leaves alot to be desired IMO. Otherwise I think I am a great catch. I'm loyal, and fun, and love to do lots of things. I'm supportive and try to be a good person to all. But I would not want to be with someone that did not accept my physical body and even if they said they did, I would have a hard time believing them. It's a conundrum for sure. So unless he can magically become physically attracted to her (and she likewise) my opinion is he needs to find that person he is physically attracted to, that hopefully will have the other qualities he is looking for.

 

[Life2Christ]

Yeah I agree with you both. The attraction has to be there. There was a guy in my teens that was into me and he was so funny and interesting but I just wasn't attracted to him, which was fine because other girls were. I guess chemistry and attraction both have to be present. But then again, arranged marriages seems to work out just fine. So, who knows?

Michelle, did you check out that lady I PM'd you?

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I did! ATM I don't think I'm ready to "eat clean". My hormones are playing a part and giving me an excuse. Hot flashes aren't fun. I have to mentally prepare but the other part of me doesn't want to "commit" to a lifetime of fitness to stay thin (if I could really ever get there). IDK some days I care more and other days I don't. I guess it would be ideal if I met someone that was into me AND helping me get there.

 

[dayhiker]

When I was younger I was much more concern with looks. Now I really like chemistry to be there. I'm not as concern about her body as I used to be, but rotund doesn't work for me. I do find a average to pretty face makes it nicer when I'm close and looking into her eyes.

But I suspect when I get older, the quality I'd like most of some I could be really comfortable around and enjoy some good conversation as we wait the end! OPS kinda morbid!

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

what is rotund?

 

[dayhiker]

one is as wide as tall!

 

[Life2Christ]

I did! ATM I don't think I'm ready to "eat clean". My hormones are playing a part and giving me an excuse. Hot flashes aren't fun. I have to mentally prepare but the other part of me doesn't want to "commit" to a lifetime of fitness to stay thin (if I could really ever get there).

Yeah but you'd be doing it for YOU so it would help your mental and physical state (getting a hot body is only the side effect of eating clean). Plus, let's face it, after a certain age (not that I'm 40) we don't really have a choice in eating what we want since all these illnesses start to sneak up on us after 35.

 

[Life2Christ]

Dayhiker: I saw your pic on the single cruise website . You did not look like I pictured you. I thought you were on the nerdy side but you don't look like that at all.

 

[dayhiker]

Hi live ... well, I'm a social animal these days! lol

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

looks like somebody is scoping you out dayhiker!

 

[Life2Christ]

looks like somebody is scoping you out dayhiker!

Hey! Exit posted the site on the other thread. I found both Day's and Exit's pics on there.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

Well, now that we are finding photos, does my picture look too nerdy (click on the camera).

 

[dayhiker]

lol @ Michelle

Makes sense to me that Life would like to check out what people look like!

 

[Life2Christ]

Makes sense to me that Life would like to check out what people look like!

Ok post a picture Michelle. I want to see what you look like.

 

[Life2Christ]

Well, now that we are finding photos, does my picture look too nerdy (click on the camera).

With that Indiana Jones hat...yeah.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

With that Indiana Jones hat...yeah.

Thanks for your honesty (I think). It is a hat like the British devised in Africa. Believe it or not, it is helpful in hot weather - air circulates up and through it. And when small stuff falls off a tree, the hat is rigid and protects that way. At least it isn't a backwards baseball cap.

 

[Life2Christ]

Thanks for your honesty (I think). It is a hat like the British devised in Africa. Believe it or not, it is helpful in hot weather - air circulates up and through it. And when small stuff falls off a tree, the hat is rigid and protects that way. At least it isn't a backwards baseball cap.

you're cute.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Well, now that we are finding photos, does my picture look too nerdy (click on the camera).

nerdy? no, but you DO look like you are going on a safari LOL.