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husband's addiction-need prayers

lost518

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My husband is addicted to crack cocaine, we have been struggling with this addiction for the past year. He went to rehab on Dec 5th, and did well untill the past two weeks. He has relapsed. I'm numb and do not know how to feel or what to feel. We have two children, 5 and 9. He needs all the prayers he can get to help him recover. His name is Brian. He seems sincere in wanting to quit. I have told him if I catch him with it one more time I will file for divorce. He has been out of work for the past year, so we are struggling with finances. He steals the credit card checks and cashes them to buy crack. Please pray that I do the right thing for me and my children. They do not deserve to grow up with a father that uses drugs. We have been married for 12 years and it is hard to watch our marriage go down the drain because of crack. Please keep us in your prayers.
 

drich0150

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I know that this is a reprinting of another post I left but I think the information is sound and applies to you as well You have my prayers and anything else I can offer in this fourm

Heroin/Crack addicts are the worst.. They lie about EVERYTHING..
If one tells you there not using they're using enough to keep the "shakes" away.
if they say they're using alittle, there habit is already in full swing..
if they say "I've been using off and on" then it's more like "I'm blowing 200 to 300 dollars a day..

And the worst part is, if they have been using a while. The only way to tell if there high, is if they are acting "normally." That's when you usually have your guard down, and your wanting more than anything to belive them when they tell you that they are clean...
I've dealt with my wifes addiction for 8 years.. she's been honestly clean for 2, but that first year of methadone and court appointed meetings and drug test were hell on earth. There was much tormenting, and gnashing of teeth.. It was worse than Watching her go thru withdrawls.. I guess because I was going thru them with her then as well.. I was being forced to understand I didnot know this person and that the person I married was died with the heroin use. And that I'd never see her again.. This new person was spiteful, resentful, too proud to except help for the church, made it nearly Impossible to go.. So had to find a "new" one. (One that I still don't like) kicking and fighting every waking moment. Until one day we actually had a Sunday afternoon of peace.. It was more like two strangers sharing a meal, but it was the first of many opportunities to reinvest in the relationship, and I've taken them. This year was still rough but it's getting better..

I say all of that not for praise or to give you a bleak pic of what may happen, but to give you the reason I couldn't give up on her..

The parable of the severant who owed his master much was the one "Jesus story" I I've been carring with me from a very early age.. I know you know the story so I'm not going to retell it, but to say this. I truly know my place. I know how wicked and vial I have been in my life and the very thought that he could forgive so much.. it's staggering. For me not to do the same would be a crime worthy of death.
Not to say your path needs to mirror mine it's just something to think about when you've hit the end of you rope for the last time...

Oh and "the bottom" for my wife was Od'ing in a barns and noble bathroom laying a stall where someone found her with a needle in her arm.. actually it was about 6months later when the sheriffs department served a warrant for that B&N thing. and "being" processed at 3 in the morning with the other junkies and "scarry" people and a year of probation... It worked better than 30,000 dollars of rehab and NA meetings for her anyway. (NA in our city was nothing more than a Drug dealer network Some where to go when your dealer got busted.) . Oh, and if you do go down the local Sheriff's rehab program "county jail" then don't bail him out right away, let him sit and think for a few days.. It's a REAL eye opener for someone who doesn't mingle well with that "Element"... And I tell you this because He has to "hit bottom" and want to change. and untill then there is REALLY nothing you can physically do to get him there.
 
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AngelDove1

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DRL

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Dear Lost, Ijust found this, so I hope all is better for you and your kids.
Above all else you need to take care of your children and yourself. You cannot change your husband. He needs to fall so hard, that all he can do is look up and ask God for help.
Get help for your self. THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR YOU AND THE KIDS.
God be with Lost is in this trying time for her. Show her what she needs to do to care for her kids and herself. In the Bible, Matt 28:20 you say you will be with us until the end of the age. In John you say you will not let go of your children. So hold tight to Lost and her kids. May your name be honored and glorified in all that happens.
And God, get her husband into a recovery program.
You are always so awesome God.
Diana/DRL
 
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inneedofHim

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I hate to be the downer, but...my husband has been a cocaine junkie from the age of 16 until 2 years ago (age 50). Now for the last two years (on and off) he has been a crackhead. He has been in prison more times than I can remember. Gets out things are going great for a few months and then off he goes. Crack is a horrible addiction!! Crack makes you not care about anything else, not you family, not your faith, not your job, not yourself. My husband has O.D. many, many times. 2 months ago, he returned to his love, crack after being clean for 6 months. He started using again b/c we had to put his dog down!!!! He spends (and he is just getting started) about $150 - $200 a day!!! We have lost 3 homes. My son from my 1 st marriage and his son from his 1st marriage are addicts!!! My husband was shooting and smoking with both sons!!! Our two youngest daughters have such hurt, anger, resentment and bitterness -- but still love their dad -- towards their father. He promises them things and never comes through!!! When he started using again this time I asked him if he even thought about what it was going to do to me and our family. He told me "It never enter the equation." We have been married for 27 years, he tells me I am his world, but his actions don't speak it b/c he is married to crack. He loves what crack does for him but hates the consequences. Addicts have a love affair with their drug of choice!!! You can't fight it. You can't beat it. You either live with it or have to get out. Hard choice b/c God says in His word that the only reason for divorce is adultry!!

I feel for you very deeply b/c I am you!!!!
 
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