Husband

[Lovethisjourney]

My husband and I are separated. There's a long backstory to this, but I don't want to get into all of that here. He needs prayer, and I could probably use some too. He has always been a professing believer, but has fallen away in most of his adult life. I hurt for him, but I also hurt because he's pursuing another woman, though we are still married.

We have been separated before. I treated him absolutely horribly when we were first together (I cheated on him multiple times and lied to him about everything). Then Christ saved me about a year ago and everything changed. My life has turned around, but he's so hurt from the things I did and how I treated him, that I'm afraid he's trying to hurt me, or maybe just feel better himself... either way, he's sinning against himself and against God.

I don't think I'm very angry at him, but I am extremely worried. My feelings are hurt, but really I can't judge or blame him. I do think it's in my realm of responsibility to ask for prayer for him. He and I aren't talking, but he isn't very private about this matter (pursuing another woman) on facebook. Thanks for reading.

I kind of just wish he would divorce me instead of staying married to me legally, while taking up with someone else.

 

[Linehogs]

It's a tough situation. I've seen a few couples survive this type of thing. Those who do.... still suffer from it down the road. If you really want your marriage to work.... you may have to be patient. Don't get me wrong. You should not accept his affair (or attempt.) That's not what I mean. But there is a chance that if you are patient and understanding then MAYBE.... he will return the favor. The problem is... it's not likely.

I think the best thing you could do is go to a marriage counselor. It sounds like you guys have a ton of baggage. You're going to need to go through it and see if you even want to stay married. I know it sounds cliche. But... it can help. It's probably one of the only things that will help outside of prayer.

I will pray for you and your marriage. But you cannot leave this alone. Women have a tendency to avoid confrontation until it's too late. I suggest you not make that mistake. I suggest you speak with your husband and ask him to go to counseling. Don't hold back your emotions. Be real with him about the things you've done and the fear you have. I'm not going to lie.... if my wife cheated on me I would have nothing for her. He's probably been through so much pain that he's complacent. He doesn't care. If left alone... you're marriage is on a one way track toward the end. But.... the beauty of marriage is that each person can be strong for the other. Each person can pull the other out of trouble. If he's complacent.... you have to be the one. It may not be fair. But.... it is what it is. You have to fight for your marriage and see if there is any way to change the course you're on. It sounds like he's got one foot out the door. At the very least you owe it to whatever made you love him before to try. You need to take it upon yourself to fill both roles here. Men are usually the initiator. But he's more interested in initiating with someone else. Therefore... if you want to try... you have to be the one. Only you know how. It may not even work the first, second, third time etc. Pray that god will help both of you. And do your best. Go to marriage counseling. See if you can rebuild trust. It's usually not possible. But I've seen it happen. I know a couple who both cheated on one another and they've been married for 30 years. They are happy. They went through hell and back. But they are happy.

Marriage is like nothing else. It's a lifelong process. It's like a tree which weathers hundreds of storms but keeps growing. The problem is.... both of you have taken an axe to it and it's fixing to fall over. If you want to see it grow.... it needs serious attention.

I wish I had better advice. I'm just some guy in the internet. You know your situation better than anyone. Pray for guidance. Pray for peace. I pray for both of you. And do what you think is best.

 

[Lovethisjourney]

Thank you for your reply.

 

[Linehogs]

Thank you for your reply.

I wish I had better advice. The only other thing I will say is that if your marriage falls..... stay with god. Don't hate yourself for the mistakes you've made. God will not hate you. He told us point blank that he would write his law on our hearts (conscience) and blot out our sins from his memory. I've seen god work. I know he is there. And I know he is good. This world can be bad. It can be tough. But have faith. God loves you. Love yourself as well.

God bless.

 

[servant of Merciful Love]

Lord ~ mercy and healing!

 

[LoricaLady]

Praying for wisdom, guidance and healing for you both.

 

[rockytopva]

Father, I pray in Jesus name that you be with this couple and heal their relationship. I pray these things in Jesus name Amen!

Also taking these needs before God in prayer on the 1:15PM bbnradio.org Family Altar program.

 

[Pink Spider]

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May the lords will
be done!​

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