Mea_kākau

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My husband unexpectedly passed on June 7, 2020.

We were married for nearly 35 years and 33 of those years were riddled with verbal and emotional abuse. I prayed since 1991 when I became born again that the Lord would heal my husband and our marriage. Just a month before my husband passed and just before his 77th birthday, my husband admitted that he was abusive and vowed to change no matter what. He purchased a slew of books and workbooks to work on and change his abusive and controlling behaviors. For the first time in our marriage he was kinder and gentler. I got to see a glimpse of the man I had prayed he'd become. He left this earth and went home to be with the Lord soon after.

So now I'm working on grief which right now is shock/denial and relief from my husband's daily abuse.

And I suffer from Complex PTSD from extreme childhood abuse and witnessing many deaths. So far my husband's death isn't triggering me. Though that could happen at any time because death is a trigger.
 

Citizen of the Kingdom

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It was by faith that Moses left the land of Egypt, not fearing the king's anger. He kept right on going because he kept his eyes on the one who is invisible. Hebrews 11:27

I love your siggy! I have a feeling you will be the same in your walk with Him. :prayer:
 
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mourningdove~

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My husband unexpectedly passed on June 7, 2020.

We were married for nearly 35 years and 33 of those years were riddled with verbal and emotional abuse. I prayed since 1991 when I became born again that the Lord would heal my husband and our marriage. Just a month before my husband passed and just before his 77th birthday, my husband admitted that he was abusive and vowed to change no matter what. He purchased a slew of books and workbooks to work on and change his abusive and controlling behaviors. For the first time in our marriage he was kinder and gentler. I got to see a glimpse of the man I had prayed he'd become. He left this earth and went home to be with the Lord soon after.

So now I'm working on grief which right now is shock/denial and relief from my husband's daily abuse.

And I suffer from Complex PTSD from extreme childhood abuse and witnessing many deaths. So far my husband's death isn't triggering me. Though that could happen at any time because death is a trigger.

I'm so sorry for your loss.:disrelieved:

And what a wonderful thing the Lord has done ... to allow you to see those changes in your husband before he died.

So, I just want to tell you ... in case there is any doubt at all ... that God will get you through all of this. He is there with you in your grief ... you are not alone ... and He will take care of you. He will teach you many things ... and mostly about His great love for you.

I was a widow once. And it was a great loss to my life when that happened.
But God ... Great is His Faithfulness ...


God bless you.
:heart:
 
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Carl Emerson

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I cant begin to understand how you feel. All I can say is be good to yourself and be enveloped with good fellowship and prayer. It is a tough season. He will however bring good wine from the winepress of suffering if you hold onto His hand daily. He is a real friend and closer than a brother. You are loved.
 
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Mea_kākau

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How are you this week?
Oh, thank you for asking.

It's been three weeks. Cannot believe that. I'm doing fairly well. Each day brings more freedom from Christ.

My husband's oldest son, C., is having a difficult time and could barely give his eulogy at the funeral. Please pray for him.
 
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