Husband just said he wants DIVORCE

[stargrl232]

My husband just said that Monday he will be speaking to a lawyer to divorce me. He says I am stupid. When I asked him about the promises he made to me, till death do us part, he said I am dead to him. He said he'll be happy when I am gone.

He doesn't like it when I defend myself, he only remembers what I might have said in response to his comments, nothing about the hurtful things he said. I am very distracted and clumsy.

He sounds like he hates me. I said we could go for counseling but he said he wouldn't go see someone who knows less of the Bible than he does.

He even threw a paper towel roll that was almost full in my face.

Please pray for healing of our marriage.

If we divorce, I will need serious counselling because I think I am starting to believe I am stupid.

Sorry to hear that your husband wants to divorce u and treating u that way.
(Comfort hugs)God loves u just the way u are just not believe u are stupid love yourself.He saying u are stupid is sbusive behavior.
And if he not go counseling and also he wants to do that of divorce let him.
But ask God and also if it is abusive or cheating it is ok to divorce.But other than that to stay together.
And looks like you tried saying to go counseling good first step but he not want to.
And if he loves you he would go for u
and also he should not throw the paper towel at you.Not right if u stay any longer he might hurt you.
Physically.
Stay away from mentally and physically men.
That is how some get’s injured or killed.
Stay safe.Christian Counseling should be good cause they know the Bible.
He should not assume they not know.
He is not the only one in the world that knows the Bible.
And if he knows the Bible he would not be treating u this way.
The Bible wants men to love their wives like they love the church.
To have patience.
And love.



Christian marriages can fall apart.
Satan is doing that.
And he loves to destroy.
When one is weak and listens to Satan than they will not follow the Bible.
God will never forsake u.
And pray to God everyday stay strong in our Lord no matter what.And knows that God loves u unconditionally.
Read the Bible everyday.
I am praying for u!
I understand how u feel.
If u need counseling seek Christian ones cause world advice will be different from the Bible.
U want to follow what God and the Bible wants.

 

[stargrl232]

He just told me that there are 5 types of people and te kind of person i am, he has to use the rod of discipline to beat the stupidity out of me. That I don't learn with softness. Maybe I am clueless / do stupid things at times, could he be right?

Maybe please pray I will be smart not stupid.

Keep us updated.We are here for u anytime u need prayers and if u need counseling advice u can come here brothers and sisters in Christ can help u here.
If u want to also find Christian counseling u can too.
Look it up on the Internet for it.
Or ask your pastor where to find one.

 

[stargrl232]

My husband just said that Monday he will be speaking to a lawyer to divorce me. He says I am stupid. When I asked him about the promises he made to me, till death do us part, he said I am dead to him. He said he'll be happy when I am gone.

He doesn't like it when I defend myself, he only remembers what I might have said in response to his comments, nothing about the hurtful things he said. I am very distracted and clumsy.

He sounds like he hates me. I said we could go for counseling but he said he wouldn't go see someone who knows less of the Bible than he does.

He even threw a paper towel roll that was almost full in my face.

Please pray for healing of our marriage.

If we divorce, I will need serious counselling because I think I am starting to believe I am stupid.

And if u ever shall be single and if never have any guy in your life.
In a relationship stay happy it is better to be single serving the Lord the Bible said.

Here it says.



Question: "What does the Bible say about a Christian staying single?"

Answer: The question of a Christian staying single and what the Bible says about believers never marrying is often misunderstood. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:7-8: “I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.” Notice that he says some have the gift of singleness and some the gift of marriage. Although it seems that nearly everyone marries, it is not necessarily God's will for everyone. Paul, for example, did not have to worry about the extra problems and stresses that come with marriage and/or family. He devoted his entire life to spreading the Word of God. He would not have been such a useful messenger if he had been married.

 

[sea5763]

nvm

 

[Endeavourer]

I believe the Word of God and yesterday I felt like the Lord was telling me to look up what it says about slaves to masters in the Bible and it fits my situation,

My dear, this is a complete misapplication of this Scripture. Marriage is to be a type of Christ and his relationship with you (his bride), not a type of master to slave. Trust what the word of God SAYS, not a feeling you have about it. Sometimes our feelings can lead us wrong but God's word will never lead you wrong.

Pray I could live out 1 Peter 2:18-18 [You who are] household servants, be submissive to your masters with all [proper] respect, not only to those who are kind and considerate and reasonable, but also to those who are surly (overbearing, unjust, and crooked).

No, no NO!!! This is an inappropriate prayer for a marriage. Your husband is not your master and you are not his household servant. You are his WIFE, and your relationship with your husband is designed to be as beautiful as your relationship to Christ - your marriage is a type of Christ's relationship with his people.

I do read and know the Word of God, and that is why even if he is an unbeliever I cannot go.

1 Corinthians 7:12-13: To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.

You are consulting a poor translation of this verse which has created undue bondage for you. The word used is not merely consent but an enthusiastic consent that would indicate his pleasure at being with you.

A better translation is:

13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

Your husband has told you in 100's of ways how unpleased he is to dwell with you. If you persist in feeling bondage to stay him for the merest of consent while he abuses you, your health will deteriorate.

Here is the word used in the verse:

4909 syneudokéō (from 4862 /sýn, "identity with" and 2106 /eudokéō, "seems good") – properly, to consent in a "hearty" (personal) way, in keeping with the close identification involved (note the syn); enthusiastically agree to cooperate with a partner to reach solutions, i.e. to achieve the things both have committed to do together.

The same version you've quoted translated the same word differently in other verses:
Acts 8:1 Saul was in hearty agreement with putting him to death.
Romans 1:32 ..but also give hearty approval to those

 

[Endeavourer]

He even threw a paper towel roll that was almost full in my face.

He just told me that there are 5 types of people and te kind of person i am, he has to use the rod of discipline to beat the stupidity out of me.

My dear, does your husband use a rod on you?

If he does not, even his throwing something at you signals a grave danger to you. A person who has already acted out physically (and gotten away with it) is capable of acting out much more. Often the first time a husband acts out physically against his wife he kills her. If the first time doesn't do so, he often increases his violence on each subsequent incident until it does kill her.

I'm very concerned for you. Could you please reach out to a domestic violence shelter close to you and tell them what you have told us? They deal with this situation ALL the time and will have really good advice for you based on a lot of experience. In your case, don't reach out to a pastor or a counselor but call directly to a women's shelter. They are the ones who have the most specialized knowledge, and the most experience, to give you good advice.

When you do call the shelter, can you post back here to let us know how it went?

 

[Itsahappyday]

My dear, this is a complete misapplication of this Scripture. Marriage is to be a type of Christ and his relationship with you (his bride), not a type of master to slave. Trust what the word of God SAYS, not a feeling you have about it. Sometimes our feelings can lead us wrong but God's word will never lead you wrong.



No, no NO!!! This is an inappropriate prayer for a marriage. Your husband is not your master and you are not his household servant. You are his WIFE, and your relationship with your husband is designed to be as beautiful as your relationship to Christ - your marriage is a type of Christ's relationship with his people.





You are consulting a poor translation of this verse which has created undue bondage for you. The word used is not merely consent but an enthusiastic consent that would indicate his pleasure at being with you.

A better translation is:

13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

Your husband has told you in 100's of ways how unpleased he is to dwell with you. If you persist in feeling bondage to stay him for the merest of consent while he abuses you, your health will deteriorate.

Here is the word used in the verse:

4909 syneudokéō (from 4862 /sýn, "identity with" and 2106 /eudokéō, "seems good") – properly, to consent in a "hearty" (personal) way, in keeping with the close identification involved (note the syn); enthusiastically agree to cooperate with a partner to reach solutions, i.e. to achieve the things both have committed to do together.

The same version you've quoted translated the same word differently in other verses:
Acts 8:1 Saul was in hearty agreement with putting him to death.
Romans 1:32 ..but also give hearty approval to those

That's a different way of looking at those scriptures. But it talks about the husband as an unbeliever. No one who knows him would say he's an unbeliever.

They would all say I am the unbeliever if I left or divorced him, because the Word says that God HATES divorce

 

[Itsahappyday]

Keep us updated.We are here for u anytime u need prayers and if u need counseling advice u can come here brothers and sisters in Christ can help u here.
If u want to also find Christian counseling u can too.
Look it up on the Internet for it.
Or ask your pastor where to find one.

Thank you That's very kind.

 

[Itsahappyday]

And oh yeal, does the Word say that an unbeliever can't divorce you? No, since they don't follow the Word anyway. He wants a divorce? Great. Let him have it. Don't worry about what other people think. Stick with those who are reality based and supportive and shrug off the others. What matters is what is the truth,not how they see things in a distorted way. Lean on your Best Friend, the Messiah. The Bible tells us that the Lord will fight our battles for us. "In quietness and rest is your salvation." Trust Him on all that.

I have told him to divorce me but I am starting to think that he's using that threat as a way of controlling me.

Example this arguement I posted, he said he already told someone that he would resign his position at church and they could take over, because we were divorcing and then i find out he never did

 

[mmksparbud]

I have told him to divorce me but I am starting to think that he's using that threat as a way of controlling me.

Example this arguement I posted, he said he already told someone that he would resign his position at church and they could take over, because we were divorcing and then i find out he never did

See!!! You are not stupid--you figured it out!! Control! That is what he is doing---Do Not leave! Again, you are not stupid, as you said--If he wants a divorce, let him leave. This is not a thread for advice, maybe you should have it moved.
Protect your finances!!! Are there children? Keep your mind on Christ, not him. Prayers. Try to not answer back. He is looking for a fight, wants you to leave then he can say all sorts of things. Give him no excuse!
Put your trust in the Lord not in you self or in him. Remember: God's windows are always bigger than the doors He closes.

 

[Itsahappyday]

Thank you all for your prayers!!!

I was actually able to remain calm yesterday regardless of how many insults and I was able to see things from a strange detached perspective, which helped me not internalize or accept his bad comments about me, my education or family background..
He's like the weather, changeable and if I say something he seems to change it, example when I told him that whenever he does something nice for me or my family , there is a price tag attached to it (my meaning, he brings it back in my face very often) but he said I told him that he does nice things for control.... Never did

Yesterday the arguement was very silly

He wanted to have a romantic dinner on the larger table, to sit with me and talk,am currently very sick with a cold for days now and said I didn't want to, rather eat on our small breakfast one. I didn't want to have to set up another table when the small one is always ready.

I already went out to buy the specific kind of meat he was asking for.

I did 3 things wrong on his eyes
1 even though he said it was okay, I should have known that he wanted the big table, even though either way we could still talk and be together on either table

2 timing for my food was a bit off, so meat was fine but the vegetables were not warm. Not happy with that

3 I forgot to put the salt pepper shaker on the table which every refined woman would do.

So maybe i am at fault for 2 and 3 but number 1???

 

[Itsahappyday]

See!!! You are not stupid--you figured it out!! Control! That is what he is doing---Do Not leave! Again, you are not stupid, as you said--If he wants a divorce, let him leave. This is not a thread for advice, maybe you should have it moved.
Protect your finances!!! Are there children? Keep your mind on Christ, not him. Prayers. Try to not answer back. He is looking for a fight, wants you to leave then he can say all sorts of things. Give him no excuse!
Put your trust in the Lord not in you self or in him. Remember: God's windows are always bigger than the doors He closes.

100 percent agree with you. Plus if I leave he will say I was not born again because I left him.

I will not be the one disobeying God

 

[Endeavourer]

because the Word says that God HATES divorce

This is perhaps the most misquoted verse in the Bible. However, before we cross that bridge, you need to get away from him. It doesn't matter if anyone ELSE thinks your husband is a believer or not; what matters is if God thinks he is. Your husband's behavior is not pleasing to God in the least and your husband is behaving like an unbeliever. If a professing believer continues to sin and refuses to heed correction, the the Bible tells us to treat him like an unbeliever and an heretic, and put him out of your fellowship.

Please read this thread over in the Marriage Advice section:
Is Separating Biblical?

It is for another dear sister who's husband is abusing her; she's in a situation similar to yours except her husband has not struck her. I'd type all of the same things for you, so please go read that thread and then come back and tell us what you think of it... Also, if we are going to give you advice on this thread perhaps we should move it to the marriage section. I'm stepping out of the rules with respect to not posting advice on the prayer wall because I'm afraid for your safety. If you would like this thread moved, either ask the moderators to move it, or let me know and I'll ask them for you.

 

[LoricaLady]

That's a different way of looking at those scriptures. But it talks about the husband as an unbeliever. No one who knows him would say he's an unbeliever.

They would all say I am the unbeliever if I left or divorced him, because the Word says that God HATES divorce

It's not about what "they all say." It's about the Word and what the Lord says. It's about your safety.

 

[LoricaLady]

And yes, the Bible does say that the Father hates divorce. Where does it say that He forbids it?

 

[Albion]

There is really no theological issue here as far as the victim in a divorce is concerned.

 

[stargrl232]

Thank you That's very kind.

You’re very welcome.

 

[Blade]

Been married for over 33 years and.. only by the grace of the Father through Jesus.. we are still together.. our had greater problems.. there is NOTHING the Father can not do.. what is to hard for the lord. We need to remember there at two people here and only hear one side.

Be strong in the lord (song playing.. Exhale by Plumb) and in the power of HIS might. And we can see why the lord will have us answer for ever single word we speak. We need to be faithful to the lord.. to walk in love.. 1st cor 13. It is NOT easy.. yet HE IS THERE! We need to be faithful..

See in a fight one time with my wife.. saying much worse things.. it was like time stopped.. I know but.. it was.. right in that moment.. He let me see.. THIS is what LOVE really means. I at that moment had a love for her.. that if right then.. if this is the best she will ever be. I will love her..treat her like a queen.. always giving.. never taking. This is what love your enemy is.. love never thinks of its self. Lol.. sorry another song.. playing and what are the odds (Chris August.. RESTORE..about marriage)

JESUS is real.. He is for you..and for him.. He wants this to work out.. there is NOTHING to hard for your Father.... your Father knows how to heal.. like the song right now..He will restore.. give it to Him..repent of anything you did wrong..and DONT let the enemy (not your husband) lie to you..

See the enemy is using your husband.. like saying your stupid.. can Satan EVER tell the truth? Hey just because I LOVE Jesus..does not mean I cant ever listen to a lie from the enemy and speak it.. so.. since the enemy can not tell the truth.. FLIP what is said... if He says your stupid.. its a lie

And when we stay faithful.. trust in have faith in the lord.. He IS WITH YOU.. its your house also.. so when alone.. walk about that house and speak the names that come to mind ..the holy Spirit will tell you and kick them out.. bind them in Jesus name.. and speak words of LIFE in over your house.. in JESUS name..

If anything know we are praying agreeing with you in JESUS name

 

[Itsahappyday]

Been married for over 33 years and.. only by the grace of the Father through Jesus.. we are still together.. our had greater problems.. there is NOTHING the Father can not do.. what is to hard for the lord. We need to remember there at two people here and only hear one side.

Be strong in the lord (song playing.. Exhale by Plumb) and in the power of HIS might. And we can see why the lord will have us answer for ever single word we speak. We need to be faithful to the lord.. to walk in love.. 1st cor 13. It is NOT easy.. yet HE IS THERE! We need to be faithful..

See in a fight one time with my wife.. saying much worse things.. it was like time stopped.. I know but.. it was.. right in that moment.. He let me see.. THIS is what LOVE really means. I at that moment had a love for her.. that if right then.. if this is the best she will ever be. I will love her..treat her like a queen.. always giving.. never taking. This is what love your enemy is.. love never thinks of its self. Lol.. sorry another song.. playing and what are the odds (Chris August.. RESTORE..about marriage)

JESUS is real.. He is for you..and for him.. He wants this to work out.. there is NOTHING to hard for your Father.... your Father knows how to heal.. like the song right now..He will restore.. give it to Him..repent of anything you did wrong..and DONT let the enemy (not your husband) lie to you..

See the enemy is using your husband.. like saying your stupid.. can Satan EVER tell the truth? Hey just because I LOVE Jesus..does not mean I cant ever listen to a lie from the enemy and speak it.. so.. since the enemy can not tell the truth.. FLIP what is said... if He says your stupid.. its a lie

And when we stay faithful.. trust in have faith in the lord.. He IS WITH YOU.. its your house also.. so when alone.. walk about that house and speak the names that come to mind ..the holy Spirit will tell you and kick them out.. bind them in Jesus name.. and speak words of LIFE in over your house.. in JESUS name..

If anything know we are praying agreeing with you in JESUS name

Thank you for your prayers

Thank you. I hope Jesus can turn it around. I think today I failed Jesus. I got super angry.

I am tired of being called stupid, dumb idiot. I am finding it hard to love him.

He keeps saying people at church think I am dumb too.

He says what did you do, accomplish

I was super angry today because I have been having back pain and there he goes saying that I need to clean the floor by bending over and picking up any pieces, but bending over is difficult right now. And he's called me dumb and other names. He wanted a particular kind of meat at a restaurant and I thought it was ok the one I bought but it turned out to be the wrong one.

He got a little rough by putting his hand underneath my chin hard and then downstairs too when he pushed me but he says he was just pushing me out of the way.

I told him I don't want him to call me names anymore but he said he won't call me names if I don't do anything stupid.

I told him to keep his bleeping hands to himself. Not my greatest moment, I sinned bad.

Sunday I realised that he doesn't call me names at church because he knows no one would agree with it so instead he calls me by endearments instead.

He keeps on saying I am coming against God's anointed.

He says I am demon possessed, angel of light coming against the man of God

 

[mmksparbud]

Thank you for your prayers

Thank you. I hope Jesus can turn it around. I think today I failed Jesus. I got super angry.

I am tired of being called stupid, dumb idiot. I am finding it hard to love him.

He keeps saying people at church think I am dumb too.

He says what did you do, accomplish

I was super angry today because I have been having back pain and there he goes saying that I need to clean the floor by bending over and picking up any pieces, but bending over is difficult right now. And he's called me dumb and other names. He wanted a particular kind of meat at a restaurant and I thought it was ok the one I bought but it turned out to be the wrong one.

He got a little rough by putting his hand underneath my chin hard and then downstairs too when he pushed me but he says he was just pushing me out of the way.

I told him I don't want him to call me names anymore but he said he won't call me names if I don't do anything stupid.

I told him to keep his bleeping hands to himself. Not my greatest moment, I sinned bad.

Sunday I realised that he doesn't call me names at church because he knows no one would agree with it so instead he calls me by endearments instead.

He keeps on saying I am coming against God's anointed.

He says I am demon possessed, angel of light coming against the man of God

Can you not go to your pastor and tell him the truth?--people need to know. His greatest weapon is secrecy. It is what these cowards fear the most---being found out. It's past time you start taking some people into your confidence. Start with the pastor. You will need to have someone, preferable more than one, who know the truth if it ever comes to court. You do not understand that you are the one with the power -- the power to expose him. That's why he acts so nice to you in public---he fears exposure.