Husband had surgery

[suzybeezy]

My husband had surgery two weeks ago. Although he has a visiting nurse that tends to him once a day, I've been taking care of him the remainder of the time. In addition, I've been taking care of all four of our kids, and everything in our household. I'm tired. And quite frankly, I'm frustrated. I think alot of the delays in my husbands recovery are his own doing. He's laying around - when the doctor told him not to; and he's not eating properly. I understand that surgery will take it's toll on a person, but he needs to do his part. And I can be sympathetic - to a point. I am reaching that point! I need a break!!! I should point out that this is his third surgery in a years time, two of which were elective.

Why are men such babies? Every little hang nail is like a major problem.

The funny thing is I can't even take the time to be sick if I wanted to. I can't remember how many years it's been since I've had time off. I even jokingly think I wish I could just think of something to get admitted to the hospital for an over night stay just to get a break. When he gets a weeks vacation from work, it's a vacation - where's my vacation? On the weekends, he's off work - on weekends, it's time for me to get projects done.

Sorry for the venting, I'm just really cranky. I know I can't be alone here.

 

[Cright]

I'm sure your not alone...

Are you involved in your church? Can you ask someone from church or family to watch your kids on a Saturday, make sure the nurse will be there.. leave left overs from Friday in the fridge and spend a day at a scrapbook party or game night at church or with friends or something?

I know that's not a long term solution, but it shounds like your about to hit a breaking point and sometimes 8 relaxing hours out of the house is all it takes to catch your breath.

In the more long term I'll keep you in my prayers and let the experienced parents and couples give more advise.

God Bless,
Carina

 

[andiesmama]

Blessings & prayers to you!! I'm sure you're going crazy, it's hard enough being a wife & mom then throw something like this in the mix....

You really do need a break...I like the suggestion of maybe getting someone from your church to come by Saturday to give you a break, or maybe even one of his buddies could take him out...can he go out anywhere?

I just posted a thread in the Women's Discussion about whether or not moms get sick days...(I've been fighting a cold for 3 days now but can't take a break!!)...so it was kinda funny to see your thread on here!

s to you!!

 

[heartnsoul]

I agree with the posts here. You do need a break...a LONG TWO-WEEK BREAK!! Where are your parents or in-laws living? Do they live close to you? Is it possible for you to drop them off for two weeks while you & your hubby go away for a two-week vacation cruise? Everyone needs a vacation (mental break) from the routine of life. Stress can cause a lot of health issues too if not dealt with. So running yourself ragged and to fatigue is not good for your own mental or physical health. I hope you can take a break soon...real soon. As for your husband, what can I say about men? Most men will wait until they are on their death bed before going to a doctor. I think if you weren't so tired and busy taking care of the children and household, you would have more patience, tolerance, and compassion for your husband. Hang in there. Thank God for us women, right? You deserve a big pat on the back for being a SUPER WOMAN.

Bad times don't stay too long...before you know it, the good days will shine upon you again. Hang tough. I do hope you find a way to go on vacation soon. Keep us posted.

 

[suzybeezy]

Well it's official, I've been driven to drink. That's right ladies, I'm taking the night off and going out for a much over due drink. All large alcohol filled drink!!!! And I'm going to enjoy every last drop of it. It won't be solving any of my problems, but dog gone it, I won't care about them for a few hours. (I hope the humorous sarcasim I am writing this with is properly conveyed). My best friend and I are going out this evening after everyone in this house is in bed. We're going to go to a karaoke bar and I plan on singing my little heart out (and I do not sing that great hahahha). This may be the little break that I need to get me through until I can have the vacation I need. And when I have a chance at a vacation, you can be your bottom dollar, I'm not taking anyone with me, I'll be going alone, some place where no one knows my name and doesn't want to ask me for anything!!!! Dare to dream

 

[andiesmama]

Well it's official, I've been driven to drink. That's right ladies, I'm taking the night off and going out for a much over due drink. All large alcohol filled drink!!!! And I'm going to enjoy every last drop of it. It won't be solving any of my problems, but dog gone it, I won't care about them for a few hours. (I hope the humorous sarcasim I am writing this with is properly conveyed). My best friend and I are going out this evening after everyone in this house is in bed. We're going to go to a karaoke bar and I plan on singing my little heart out (and I do not sing that great hahahha). This may be the little break that I need to get me through until I can have the vacation I need. And when I have a chance at a vacation, you can be your bottom dollar, I'm not taking anyone with me, I'll be going alone, some place where no one knows my name and doesn't want to ask me for anything!!!! Dare to dream

You go girlfriend!! lol

 

[Lena75]

Enjoy your night off. Be safe! Praying for you and your family.

 

[heartnsoul]

Have fun!! Sing your heart out. And don't forget to plan your vacation soon!

 

[MERCY@GRACE]

I'm sorry suzy you are worn out! I KNOW how that feels!! As a homeschool mom of5 and a dh who works looooong hrs, i know all too well what exhaustion look/feels like!

I would like to add another way to look at it (can't hurt right) I don't know what your dh had surgery for- but if it was my dh that came home from surgery I would be praising God he made it out alive, and that he's home! I KNOW you are thankful,but the "work" is just so overwhelming, that it's prbly taking prescedence!
This past week we all caught (all but one of my kids go figure) the stomach bug,and it made me appreciate my health soooo much more. I felt like if I could just make it past this I would never complain again! I thank God that I Am healthy and am capable of getting around, and am not sick and laid up on a reg basis! Doing our job while sick is NOT fun!

When I start feeling like I'm keeping score or resentful of dh b/c I Feel like I have MORE work- I try to remember that I'm doing what I do as unto the LOrd!

I agree see if you can get some outside help so you can re-cuperate.... this too shall pass

 

[Cright]

suzy - how did your night out go?

 

[suzybeezy]

suzy - how did your night out go?

My night out went quite well. I did have a couple drinks, which I will admit I thoroughly enjoyed. I did in fact sing a song at karaoke, which I bombed completely, but that's okay, it was still fun. I still laughed and had a good time. Everyone needs a break from reality every once in a while.

 

[bliz]

Glad you had a break!

My husband had open heart surgery a few years ago. It was an annoyingly long recovery. And I must agree with you - men do tend to be such baboes when it comes to being sick! It's not just your guy - they almost all seem to do it/ They'll play football with broken ribs, but wash the dishes if they have the sniffles? Just hang in there.

Give yourself breaks as you can - schedule them in - they as as important as follow-up doctor visits. At times during the day tell him that you are going to take an hour for yourself and that unless his needs are urgent, to let you be for an hour.

I know you are glad that he's doing fine, but I also know that the surgery itself is only the first lap!