Husband and his secret credit cards and bank accounts

[Ives]

I found out last year my husband had been keeping a secret bank account and secret credit cards and syphening money off his already very low pay to these accounts to buy himself expensive things we can't afford and then lying to my face when I asked where they came from. I'll cut a long story short, because right now my question is, shouldn't he obviously sell these things???? (Digital camera, expensive lenses like $600 each, expensive computer monitors..)

 

[thecolorsblend]

I'll cut a long story short, because right now my question is, shouldn't he obviously sell these things???? (Digital camera, expensive lenses like $600 each, expensive computer monitors..)

Sounds like they've already been paid for. The damage is done. Why sell them?

 

[Mountainmanbob]

I found out last year my husband had been keeping a secret bank account and secret credit cards and syphening money off his already very low pay to these accounts to buy himself expensive things we can't afford and then lying to my face when I asked where they came from. I'll cut a long story short, because right now my question is, shouldn't he obviously sell these things???? (Digital camera, expensive lenses like $600 each, expensive computer monitors..)

Sell those things at a loss? No
But, serious trust issues to overcome now.
M

 

[snoochface]

If you can't afford basic necessities of life because he bought those toys for himself, then yes you absolutely should sell them to pay your expenses. And then, speak to an attorney, because he may be racking up debt that you don't know about and which, as his wife, you will be responsible for. You need to protect yourself, your credit, your home, and your paycheck (for example, do you know that your wages may be garnished to pay his debt, make your situation all the worse?)

 

[Brian Mcnamee]

Hi you sort of skipped over of you confronted him with the proof and how that went. I'd say he needs to grow up and be accountable. I's say on his free time he should be finding other side work until he has paid back everything he bought on the side. He might need a lesson on credit and interest rates and if he is making the minimum payment on those purchases that $600 in the end might be a $1200 purchase. Put your foot down and he needs to come correct.

 

[NerdGirl]

I found out last year my husband had been keeping a secret bank account and secret credit cards and syphening money off his already very low pay to these accounts to buy himself expensive things we can't afford and then lying to my face when I asked where they came from. I'll cut a long story short, because right now my question is, shouldn't he obviously sell these things???? (Digital camera, expensive lenses like $600 each, expensive computer monitors..)

Yes, he should, and the money should go into whatever jointly owned account you have together. The "secret" accounts and cards should be closed (and proof provided). He lied to you, he broke your trust, he needs to earn it back with transparency and humility.

 

[NerdGirl]

I have similar issues with my husband, and the financial irresponsibility and lack of accountability and trust are a major contributing factor to my wanting a separation. My credit rating is trashed, my savings is emptied, and he's been leeching off my name and my financial reputation for the entirety of our marriage. And I've had enough of it.