Ok I think my hubby is depressed, but don't know how to help him. He won't admit that anything is wrong with him, but over the past 4 months he has become increasingly angry and bitter towards everything. What can I do to help him?
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Hubby
- Thread starter MommyofanAngel
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ah hun, all i can do is say what i needed, which was endless patience from my hubby throughout my rants and misery.
i also needed someone to say to me that i needed to see the doctor (i was terrified that i was just attention seeking and being completely pathetic), but im not sure if my husband would have been the right person to do that as i may just have shouted him down (a friend eventually suggested it to me).
Prayer - i found it difficult to accept that people were praying for me, but i knew that i needed them. (im a control freak, i HATE asking for help, or having people know i need help!)
talking - very important, though he might not talk to you about things. i couldnt talk easily so, to ease the stress levels in my life, i found writing a journal helped enormously, and actually pinpointed a few areas that i hadnt realised were causing so much pain, that could then be dealt with (still working on that).
exercise - helps some peeps
eating healthily - i lost all interest in food and cooking, that didnt help my energy levels get above ground level at all! and piling on the pounds because i ate junk food didn't help my self esteem. Having someone cook me a good meal was priceless.
-Rhylla-
i also needed someone to say to me that i needed to see the doctor (i was terrified that i was just attention seeking and being completely pathetic), but im not sure if my husband would have been the right person to do that as i may just have shouted him down (a friend eventually suggested it to me).
Prayer - i found it difficult to accept that people were praying for me, but i knew that i needed them. (im a control freak, i HATE asking for help, or having people know i need help!)
talking - very important, though he might not talk to you about things. i couldnt talk easily so, to ease the stress levels in my life, i found writing a journal helped enormously, and actually pinpointed a few areas that i hadnt realised were causing so much pain, that could then be dealt with (still working on that).
exercise - helps some peeps
eating healthily - i lost all interest in food and cooking, that didnt help my energy levels get above ground level at all! and piling on the pounds because i ate junk food didn't help my self esteem. Having someone cook me a good meal was priceless.
-Rhylla-
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- Jun 29, 2004
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Pray pray and pray. Potentially ask him to see a shrink and see what comes of it.
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newyorknewyork
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can u write him a letter telling him how much you love him and care for him? part of the letter can include that you are concerned for him.. you want what's best for him.. and you care about whatever is on his mind.. tell him you notice he seems stressed.. and you want to be there for him and carry his burdens with him... 
hope it works!
sometimes a letter can have more of an impact
hope it works!
sometimes a letter can have more of an impact
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Catherineanne
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MommyofanAngel said:
I think you need to be honest, and tell him your concerns. I know a lot of people would be tempted to try to be cheerful and resilient for two, but in the end that will just destroy your health as well as his.
It is your husband's responsibility to get this sorted out, and it is your job to tell him to do it. He will probably not listen the first time, or the second. But eventually he will hear what you are saying, and hopefully he will go and see his doctor.
I would try asking two option questions, in order to be as non threatening as possible. Something like, "you seem to be overwhelmed by things at present; do you think you might be getting a cold, or are you perhaps more run down than that, and perhaps need a tonic?"
I would avoid mentioning the word depression. Many people have a distorted view of what depression is, and will resist the word unless it comes from a doctor who can explain what it actually is.
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