Hubby and Me

[Mayflower1]

My husband took a screening test online that was 50 questions that came up he most likely has aspergers. He hates doctors and I dont think we really need a doctor or anything but any tips on how we can communicate better? I have read some on it but are there any good sites online that really share what aspergers means and how it can effect a marriage? I know it may take longer for us to have kids and I definitely can tell the difference in social situations. Without going to a doctor I dont know for sure... I just got curious about it because we seem to think so differently and he acts differently then others. I love him. I just want to be a good wife and communicate well with him and he with me. I still dont know much about aspergers yet and it is very hard for him to talk about any of his emotions. He told me even if something did bother him he would never tell anyone about it and says all doctors are quacks.

 

[Sabertooth]

...He told me even if something did bother him he would never tell anyone about it and says all doctors are quacks.

That has mostly been my experience, too, as an adult diagnosed with Aspergers.

If you live in the USA, you may want to get in contact with the Autism Society of [your state]. Even if you don't take advantage of their list of local, competent counselors, they frequently arrange for public speakers on the various issues attendant to autism.

Some autism forums, like Aspies Central, will accommodate non-autistic family members, too.

 

[Mayflower1]

I struggle with a lot of anxiety and Im unsure how to communicate sometimes. Like last night I really opened up for for first time how anxious I was and that it was hard to tell him because I didnt want to burden him and was crying about a 3 out of 10 last night. And I guess he wasnt sure how to deal with it so Im pouring my heart out and look at him and he is asleep. I didnt wake him up again...Ill try talking to him or even text him about it today because emotional things he tends to do better over text. Is that part of aspergers? He wont admit he struggles but I can see it. Even then it could be my anxiety seeing it. I start counseling again december 1st and can ask about some things how to better communicate. I know he really cares or I would be angry at him. He shows me in other ways. Just sometimes I wish we can talk on an emotional level better. If it is autism or another social thing we just may have to work through it. I am just glad we deeply love each other and can.

I cut my thighs up sunday night. It really upset him. He works thirds. I feel bad for giving in like that but even then all he could really do is joke about it saying he was going to send aunt cheryl to whoop me and hope I wouldnt do that again.

 

[Mayflower1]

I dont know how to answer that but it isnt emotional blackmail. Ive struggled with self injury off and on since I was sixteen and dealt with much abuse in my childhood. My mom past away this time last year, my fifteen year old niece just cut her wrists and is struggling with things that were very triggering to me at that time, I killed off identity characters called Magic and Chastity...Im just messed up...My husband is doing the best he can but if he doesnt agree with counseling then I need to know what I should do if I should even share this with him and just go to outward support and counseling. This is very hard to do for me. Just for him to hold me helps he doesnt have to say a thing but I know I am messed up. I have been very suicidal all month and I am so tired of functioning. I dont know what else to do. I feel so alone and I know I have so many who love me. Im everywhere. I dont know whether to post anxiety, ptsd, self injury support, whatever anymore and I am a horrible wife I feel like because my husband is the best thing that ever happened for me and I feel insane in times like this. I cant think.

 

[Mayflower1]

Im just trying to get to my counseling appointment on december first.

 

[Mayflower1]

And my main reason for posting this thread was to find out about aspergers

 

[Mayflower1]

I guess I wasnt too clear in my OP bc I really didnt know what to ask

 

[Mayflower1]

It did sort of turn into venting my anxieties and I apologize. Im just frustrated. Ive been all over emotionally

 

[Mayflower1]

This probably isnt the best place to post this so if this should be moved to like a chaplain area maybe that would be better?

 

[Sabertooth]

I don't mind speaking to autism/Aspergers. You will need to be reasonably stable, emotionally, if your going to contend with his issues. Otherwise, you will be a moving target for him to try to come to terms with.

 

[ewq1938]