Hubbie smokes pot

[Child of JC]

Here is my delema. My husband smokes pot. I am a youth leader. The other night God began a big work with our youth, and its something that I am very much a part of. The next day, I come home and DH has 2 pots plants in my home! I cant help but feel that it is a spiritual battle going on here. What would you do?

 

[kayd1966]

Pray and Pray and Pray...then I'd ask him to remove them from your home...do the youth group kids spend time at your house?

And you are absolutely right, there is a spiritual battle going on...pray pray pray

and I am praying for you

 

[AbidingInHim]

Let us know how things work out, I will pray for you.

 

[kayd1966]

I agree AIH about your position within the youth ministry but I caution you on telling him that his pot being in the house is the reason you are having to step down. My husband would be mad at me for manipulating him though the use of a guilt trip if I told him something like that. You know your husband best and can make the decision on that one.

I am praying for you and for him.

 

[Athene]

I would destroy the pot plants. And destroy any illegal drugs he brought into the house.

I've had a peeksy at your profile and i've noticed you've got young children, you have a double reason for ensuring he does not have drugs in your home. You need to make a stand on this.

 

[Child of JC]

I asked him what was going on with the plants...long story short, I expect them to be gone today.

Have any of you dealt with this issue? Or are you just making suggestions on what you think should happen? (I'm thankful for both, the wording makes me sound harsh...not my intention). It's just that it's not cut and dry like most of you think. It's not like he just picked up this habbit, and now I'm against it. He has always smoked. Our whole 13 years together. We used to smoke together. I have been saved for 7 of the 13. Have I been making a stand against it? No. Why? Because it was never an issue befor now. How could it not be an issue? Because I have grown up with the stuff around me, my mom and dad still smoke to this day. Does that make it right? No. But it's not just a simple little matter.

So there is a bit of background.

 

[AbidingInHim]

I'm glad things worked out so well

 

[kayd1966]

You are SO right, it never is as cut and dry as we wish for. I'm so glad the plants are going.

I don't have the pot problem in our relationship but there are other issues that we deal with that aren't cut and dry either...I just have to make sure that I am living for the Lord and I have to keep praying for my husband to accept Jesus as his Savior. That is all I can do...I can't control his actions, feelings or decisions but I can make sure my feelings, actions and decisions are based in Jesus. No matter where I am (church, home, friends, family), people need to see where I stand...that doesn't mean my hubby and I are always on the same page but it does mean that people know where I stand and that he may have a different stand on any given issue. I don't hide that my husband isn't a Christian but I don't announce it to the world either. If people are genuine in their interest then I ask them to pray for him....I figure the more people praying, the less chance he has of getting away .

 

[Child of JC]

Thanks for your prayers.

I made a step forward. I have decided that we will no longer meet in my home. We will meet at our chuch, and I have already told everyone. And 2. I'm going to discuss this with my pastor tonight. If he wants me out of the ministry, well then, I pray that I will accept it as God's will. Please keep praying for me.

 

[BlondieLashes]

Hi Bev! I just stumbled across your thread over here- we have to stop meeting like this!

When my hubby and I first got together he was not saved and I was sooooooo backslidden that no one would ever guess I had ever been saved. My hubby smoked a lot of pot when we first got together. Even though I was beyond backslidden I never used pot. The smell of it alone makes me sick- and just the sight of bong water makes me want to throw up! It just doesn't seem sanitary! I struggled with drugs and alcohol before I came back to the Lord- so I have an idea of what it is like. I drank and used prescription opiates (I didn't realize my own addictions until after I came back to the Lord).

Anyway- after my husband had asked me to marry him (we were living together already-remember we were not saved) I lost it and told him that he had to stop smoking pot all together or I would leave. He was 35 years old and had been using since he was like 13. He used a lot- it wasn't just here or there! I actually was so upset and freaked out about marrying someone that used illegal drugs that I called his Mom and told her that he was using pot (I know- low blow!) and that I would leave him if he didn't stop. Well, she in turn called him and lost it!!! She yelled and screamed at him and told him that if he lost me he was a complete idiot, and that he better straighten himself out...etc. I guess you could say I didn't pull any punches. He was really upset with me for a long time for telling his Mom- but I wanted him to know I was very serious about him quitting!

Well, the day that I called his Mom when I came home from work he took me outside and showed me that he had destroyed every bong he owned and every pipe. He flushed the rest of his stash down the toilet while I watched. The next month or so was absolute hell on earth as he had withdrawls really bad- but he got through it.

I am not saying this is the right way to approach this. I am just letting you know what my experience was. Keep in mind neither of us were walking with the Lord and we did not have children- so our circumstances were different than yours.

I still pray for you and your hubby Bev. I have seen God do an awesome work in both my husband and I and know He can straighten us out can turn anyone around!!!! Don't lose hope sis!

Courtney

 

[Child of JC]

Thanx for the encouragment Courtney. Always nice to "see" you. Love ya,
Bev.

 

[Child of JC]

Good news! I told my pastor all about what happened. He was great! He agreed that I can no longer have the youth in my home, but he still thinks that I am able to be involved with them. Thank you Jesus.

 

[AbidingInHim]

That's great, it's such a blessing to minister to others.....why else do we need to learn and grow if we can't share that with others....teens are a special ministry, may you be blessed with your endeavors....

 

[kayd1966]

AWESOME!

I am so glad you have a supportive church that is willing to stand by you during difficult times and to help find solutions.

God bless you and your ministry!

 

[Autumnleaf]

Weed killer should solve this issue. Its a subtle way.

 

[AbidingInHim]

How are you Child of JC?

 

[BrBob]

Good news! I told my pastor all about what happened. He was great! He agreed that I can no longer have the youth in my home, but he still thinks that I am able to be involved with them. Thank you Jesus.

Now, that is a good pastor! He addresses the issue without over reacting. Cool!

Bob
Spearfish, SD

 

[carrieun]

God works in ways we cannot see.!!! Do you know the song :

God will find a way, where there seems to be no way...

It's so true!!!

 

[oat02351]

Here is my delema. My husband smokes pot. I am a youth leader. The other night God began a big work with our youth, and its something that I am very much a part of. The next day, I come home and DH has 2 pots plants in my home! I cant help but feel that it is a spiritual battle going on here. What would you do?

My hubby does too. To grow it.... that's not good. It's kinda not great to be smoked but, he can get in more trouble if he's caught with plants . I've grown used to my h's habit as long he keeps his distance from the baby wich he's good about (I wouldn't expect anything less), he didn't even smoke around me while I was pregnant. You're in a youth group though, does he know what your feelings are and the risks? I could say try and talk him out of smoking it but, ....it depends how into it he is wether or not he would give it up. :o