Hey,
I want to explore some of the "weaknesses" in my beliefs and to try to become much more emotionally open to the possibility of religious belief (Christianity being the culturally dominant one and the one I am superficially most familiar with). Rather than struggle with this on my own, it makes more sense to ask people who may have been there and already know the answers.
I am an atheist and a "dialectical materialist" (i.e. the materialism of Marx, Engels, Lenin, Stalin, Mao, etc). I have had Communist sympathies for many years but due to the extreme nature of the violence involved it has proven to be a nihilistic challenge to my sense of values. its been a slow process of eroding the original convictions, seeing through my pride until I realise how "hollow" it is and come to terms with its more disturbing implications. Marxism is a deterministic belief system incomparable with the widely accepted definition of "freedom" and determinism provides the intellectual basis for totalitarian control and manipulation (i.e. if you can scientifically predict human behaviour, you can "change" it to suit your purposes so people become a means rather than an ends in themselves). Moreover, it shares quite strong similarities with Social Darwinism in treating human beings as "animals" without inherent rights, dignity arising from a "soul" so you could almost call it "pagan" or "satanist" in the degree which it rejects Christian ethics.
I've grown up a lot and recognised just how incomplete, inadequate and ignorant my beliefs are. About age 18, I had the onset of depression and "needed answers". Due to the narrow and bigoted nature of my atheism at the time I chose to become a Communist in order to find that sense of meaning and purpose that I was lacking. I will turn 28 in a months time and after a decade of being a materialist, what has become clear is just how "complicated" the explanations are. That has proven to be both very frustrating, confusing and a source of doubt as I'm left with the sense that Marxists never really asked the "deep" questions and simply took the "truth" of their beliefs for granted as a "scientific materialist worldview". bluntly, there has never been a single text where Marxists stated their beliefs at a philosophical level in a coherent way that could stand up to scrutiny (Joseph Stalin's dialectical and historical materialism coming the closest but its still pretty bad). depression has made me appreciate the need for "faith" in that I have had to believe in myself and recognise that the "reality" of those things that make me depressed is in part an illusion, and something I can change to an extent by thinking in new ways. So its been a long process of searching.
I've realised I'm actually afraid of religious experience because it would mean not being in "control" as well as the various taboos about it being "irrational", built on "blind-faith", etc. So I want to get some general input on how an atheist would become a Christian and see "if the glove fits". On some of the more specific stuff:
1. How strong is the argument that Science and Religion are compatible rather than being in conflict? Can Old-Earth Creationism built on theistic evolution and treating the big bang as "creation" be taken seriously? Can Natural Theology or Christian Deism be a route to Religious conviction?
2. How does historical research into the accuracy and the legitimacy of the bible as a source effect you're beliefs? Has reading the bible affected your perception of Christianity? Is it better to read something like Aquinas' Summa Contra Gentiles or another book to make sense of the bible for a non-Christian in order to grasp its meaning?
3. Can revelation be a legitimate source of knowledge? Can mysticism and inner experience be treated as a source of knowledge?
4. How would you defend "free will" from people saying determinism is a more "scientific" position? Or can free will be defended Scientifically or is science inadequate to get to the truth on this?
5. Is Christian Natural Law the basis for personal liberty and free society? Can society ever be truly "secular" without falling into the trap of state atheism? (i.e. "we hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal and endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights.")
6. If you have become a Christian from being an atheist (or another religion) how did you deal with the inner and emotional discomfort of converting? How did you become emotionally and spiritually open to the idea?
Anyway, I hope after reading this you'll see what I'm getting at and trying to do and its honestly meant. It's that having been anti-religious coming round to the idea of taking religious belief and experience seriously is "unexpected" and a little unnerving. you may understand the feeling if the situation were reversed- but I don't have much to lose by trying.
I'm asking quite a lot here so I don't mind if you're replies are long or short. I will read them all. if it helps, feel free to ask anything you want and any advice or suggestions are very welcome. Thanks in advance.
I want to explore some of the "weaknesses" in my beliefs and to try to become much more emotionally open to the possibility of religious belief (Christianity being the culturally dominant one and the one I am superficially most familiar with). Rather than struggle with this on my own, it makes more sense to ask people who may have been there and already know the answers.
I am an atheist and a "dialectical materialist" (i.e. the materialism of Marx, Engels, Lenin, Stalin, Mao, etc). I have had Communist sympathies for many years but due to the extreme nature of the violence involved it has proven to be a nihilistic challenge to my sense of values. its been a slow process of eroding the original convictions, seeing through my pride until I realise how "hollow" it is and come to terms with its more disturbing implications. Marxism is a deterministic belief system incomparable with the widely accepted definition of "freedom" and determinism provides the intellectual basis for totalitarian control and manipulation (i.e. if you can scientifically predict human behaviour, you can "change" it to suit your purposes so people become a means rather than an ends in themselves). Moreover, it shares quite strong similarities with Social Darwinism in treating human beings as "animals" without inherent rights, dignity arising from a "soul" so you could almost call it "pagan" or "satanist" in the degree which it rejects Christian ethics.
I've grown up a lot and recognised just how incomplete, inadequate and ignorant my beliefs are. About age 18, I had the onset of depression and "needed answers". Due to the narrow and bigoted nature of my atheism at the time I chose to become a Communist in order to find that sense of meaning and purpose that I was lacking. I will turn 28 in a months time and after a decade of being a materialist, what has become clear is just how "complicated" the explanations are. That has proven to be both very frustrating, confusing and a source of doubt as I'm left with the sense that Marxists never really asked the "deep" questions and simply took the "truth" of their beliefs for granted as a "scientific materialist worldview". bluntly, there has never been a single text where Marxists stated their beliefs at a philosophical level in a coherent way that could stand up to scrutiny (Joseph Stalin's dialectical and historical materialism coming the closest but its still pretty bad). depression has made me appreciate the need for "faith" in that I have had to believe in myself and recognise that the "reality" of those things that make me depressed is in part an illusion, and something I can change to an extent by thinking in new ways. So its been a long process of searching.
I've realised I'm actually afraid of religious experience because it would mean not being in "control" as well as the various taboos about it being "irrational", built on "blind-faith", etc. So I want to get some general input on how an atheist would become a Christian and see "if the glove fits". On some of the more specific stuff:
1. How strong is the argument that Science and Religion are compatible rather than being in conflict? Can Old-Earth Creationism built on theistic evolution and treating the big bang as "creation" be taken seriously? Can Natural Theology or Christian Deism be a route to Religious conviction?
2. How does historical research into the accuracy and the legitimacy of the bible as a source effect you're beliefs? Has reading the bible affected your perception of Christianity? Is it better to read something like Aquinas' Summa Contra Gentiles or another book to make sense of the bible for a non-Christian in order to grasp its meaning?
3. Can revelation be a legitimate source of knowledge? Can mysticism and inner experience be treated as a source of knowledge?
4. How would you defend "free will" from people saying determinism is a more "scientific" position? Or can free will be defended Scientifically or is science inadequate to get to the truth on this?
5. Is Christian Natural Law the basis for personal liberty and free society? Can society ever be truly "secular" without falling into the trap of state atheism? (i.e. "we hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal and endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights.")
6. If you have become a Christian from being an atheist (or another religion) how did you deal with the inner and emotional discomfort of converting? How did you become emotionally and spiritually open to the idea?
Anyway, I hope after reading this you'll see what I'm getting at and trying to do and its honestly meant. It's that having been anti-religious coming round to the idea of taking religious belief and experience seriously is "unexpected" and a little unnerving. you may understand the feeling if the situation were reversed- but I don't have much to lose by trying.
I'm asking quite a lot here so I don't mind if you're replies are long or short. I will read them all. if it helps, feel free to ask anything you want and any advice or suggestions are very welcome. Thanks in advance.