How to stop the king of all sins.

[Neostarwcc]

Ok so heres the full deal.

From birth all of us do this particular sin. Its programed into our brains from childhood that its natural to lie and it comes second nature to us and many of us pass off lying as if its "no big deal" but heres the thing, lying is a huge sin and is offensive to God. How do I know this? The Bible tells us so. Jesus tells us so and Jesus also tells us that there will be no liars in heaven just forgiven liars and here's the thing, I've said this on CF before but its becoming a really bad problem but I'm such a pathological liar that I can't stop. Not because I'm lying right now but because I like to lie to get my own way. Because its easier to lie than to tell the truth when telling the truth has consequences and you want to avoid those consequences. And the Holy Spirit has been convicting me like crazy lately about all of the lies that I have been telling lately to my wife in particular but also to my mom.

I'll explain and give examples so its easier for you all to give me Biblical advice and talk me through this.

So basically everytime I get involved in a video game I end up spending thousands of dollars in microtransactions on that game. But that isn't the bad part about it. The bad part about it is that I always NEVER tell my wife about it AND I ALWAYS hide what im doing from her and lie to her. Basically, I'll steal our debit card because I'm bipolar and she doesn't want me to have access to our money (A smart move on her part) and I'll go nuts. Oftentimes I'll steal the debit/credit card out of her wallet. Or sometimes i'll hack her paypal and email and I'll change the information on her and go in her phone and delete the emails that tell her what I did so that she'll never know I used paypal to charge all kinds of money to video games.

Lately there's been this specific video game that I've been spending on that I've so far spent thousands on. She knew about and approved $80 a week but I spent a lot more behind her back and when she questioned me about it I lied to her and I hid all of the transactions from her and did my best to cover it up. Totally not a good or Christian thing to do. Like I said I've been convicted lately really bad about this and I've come completely clean to her and she almost brushed me off like it was no big deal because shes been married to me for so long and she's used to this kind of behavior but I was like "No, Jeanette this is important and this has to stop."

I mean our 10th anniversary is coming up in 2 months. I dont want to spend our 10th anniversary with a slate of "I'm lying to you to get my way in this game right now and in these games in particular and I'm spending our money foolishly in these games to get myself stronger in these games and I don't care about your feelings or that we both worked hard (Well mostly her I just sit on my butt and get a disability check) for our money.

I've given myself a second chance (Although why should I with my history of lying to my wife and telling her im not spending money when I really am) to basically not spend any money without asking her first and if I sneak around because she completely cut me off from the bank without asking her first i'm quitting the game entirely. And hopefully i'm quitting mobile games and steam games for the rest of my life but we all know, that won't happen because i'll always be bored one day and want to play a free to play game and we all know i can't play a free to play game for free and I'll spend all kinds of money on that game.

Anyway, since I've come clean and given myself a last chance on this game I feel a little better but, I dont want to do this anymore. I want to follow Jesus which is way better than lying about things just to get my way in a video game or to get my way financially. Its just not worth it. What do you suggest I do? Because quitting video games forever wont work because, I'll always go back to them. I'll always spend on them. But, maybe setting a budget and maybe just having Jeanette say "If you betray me one more time you're cut off from your finances completely for good and I mean it this time." Will send me the wake up call I need. I don't know... I need ideas and advice.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

Ok so heres the full deal.

From birth all of us do this particular sin. Its programed into our brains from childhood that its natural to lie and it comes second nature to us and many of us pass off lying as if its "no big deal" but heres the thing, lying is a huge sin and is offensive to God. How do I know this? The Bible tells us so. Jesus tells us so and Jesus also tells us that there will be no liars in heaven just forgiven liars and here's the thing, I've said this on CF before but its becoming a really bad problem but I'm such a pathological liar that I can't stop. Not because I'm lying right now but because I like to lie to get my own way. Because its easier to lie than to tell the truth when telling the truth has consequences and you want to avoid those consequences. And the Holy Spirit has been convicting me like crazy lately about all of the lies that I have been telling lately to my wife in particular but also to my mom.

I'll explain and give examples so its easier for you all to give me Biblical advice and talk me through this.

So basically everytime I get involved in a video game I end up spending thousands of dollars in microtransactions on that game. But that isn't the bad part about it. The bad part about it is that I always NEVER tell my wife about it AND I ALWAYS hide what im doing from her and lie to her. Basically, I'll steal our debit card because I'm bipolar and she doesn't want me to have access to our money (A smart move on her part) and I'll go nuts. Oftentimes I'll steal the debit/credit card out of her wallet. Or sometimes i'll hack her paypal and email and I'll change the information on her and go in her phone and delete the emails that tell her what I did so that she'll never know I used paypal to charge all kinds of money to video games.

Lately there's been this specific video game that I've been spending on that I've so far spent thousands on. She knew about and approved $80 a week but I spent a lot more behind her back and when she questioned me about it I lied to her and I hid all of the transactions from her and did my best to cover it up. Totally not a good or Christian thing to do. Like I said I've been convicted lately really bad about this and I've come completely clean to her and she almost brushed me off like it was no big deal because shes been married to me for so long and she's used to this kind of behavior but I was like "No, Jeanette this is important and this has to stop."

I mean our 10th anniversary is coming up in 2 months. I dont want to spend our 10th anniversary with a slate of "I'm lying to you to get my way in this game right now and in these games in particular and I'm spending our money foolishly in these games to get myself stronger in these games and I don't care about your feelings or that we both worked hard (Well mostly her I just sit on my butt and get a disability check) for our money.

I've given myself a second chance (Although why should I with my history of lying to my wife and telling her im not spending money when I really am) to basically not spend any money without asking her first and if I sneak around because she completely cut me off from the bank without asking her first i'm quitting the game entirely. And hopefully i'm quitting mobile games and steam games for the rest of my life but we all know, that won't happen because i'll always be bored one day and want to play a free to play game and we all know i can't play a free to play game for free and I'll spend all kinds of money on that game.

Anyway, since I've come clean and given myself a last chance on this game I feel a little better but, I dont want to do this anymore. I want to follow Jesus which is way better than lying about things just to get my way in a video game or to get my way financially. Its just not worth it. What do you suggest I do? Because quitting video games forever wont work because, I'll always go back to them. I'll always spend on them. But, maybe setting a budget and maybe just having Jeanette say "If you betray me one more time you're cut off from your finances completely for good and I mean it this time." Will send me the wake up call I need. I don't know... I need ideas and advice.

Sounds like you have an addiction called. " gaming disorder". Lying is just a way to hide that addiction. You will need a support group. Here is information:

https://www.gamingaddictsanonymous.org/?hl=en-US

There are many more groups out there. You are not alone!

Be blessed

 

[Richard T]

I can't go too deep but I think you need to find something that brings out God's compassion in you to help take away the temptation to spend so much time in games. What I am saying is can you find something more in God to redirect your efforts? Is there a people group, a ministry, a call or caring that you can connect with to make the most of your time?
We all have to remember too that are rewards in heaven are based on what we do on earth. I don't think there are any gaming awards to be passed out. But you can't change on your own, find the wildcard that resides in you from God where you can make an impact. I am not saying this is all the solution, but I think it may help. Possibilities include jail ministry, food bank or helping the homeless, or retirement homes, focusing on a short term mission trip, teaching Sunday school, or even mowing the church's grass which actually is very important. Ask God for wisdom too in how to find some balance in your life so that you will not spend and have to cover some things up. Some timing locks on the internet? Tighter controls on money.
Also, in this same vein of thought, can you find a ministry or serious cause that motivates you to give more money towards God? There are some desperate Christians in need around the world and can you find a way to gravitate to those needs as you place that in your heart above some of the gaming? Ask you wife too for the ideas she thinks will work. Nothing to be ashamed of either, your confessing openly shows you are contrite and serious. I pray you find victory in all of this. God bless.

 

[NBB]

Stop wasting money on microtransactions paying abusive dishonest greedy companies, and you would not need to lie, is better to throw the money on the street, than doing that, at least someone can find it, and have a happy day.

 

[Zceptre]

It's an addiction.

I've dealt with many of those.

The only suggestion I have, is kill it.

Dead.

I know you said "you'll always," but I would have said that before I beat my addictions too.

Don't settle. Don't give up. Don't give in. You are more than this. You CAN do this.

PUSH - Pray Until Something Happens.

Replace it with good things. Fight.

Addictions will always turn us into something we don't want.

Unalive it. Learn to hate it. Destroy it.

Like Lord Jesus done to our sins on the cross.

Again... You are more than this.

Just my humble thoughts from my own many experiences.

Praying for you.