Masturbation seems to be a favorite topic on every Christian forum on which I've ever participated (and that is a lot of forums over a period of 25 years). I don't want to minimize your concerns, but if masturbation is the biggest impediment to your relationship with God you're in pretty good shape unless it's just a complete obsession that is occupying large swaths of your time.
Is it coupled with an obsession with inappropriate contentography? Does it focus on deviant or dangerous practices? If so, then I would say get some help. There are lots and lots of resources, including books and online communities, for people who struggle with the same thing.
If you're just a single 21-year-old guy who is using occasional masturbation as an alternative to fornication, I think I'd say "Relax. This should not concern you to the extent it seems to be doing, and it really does not need to be an impediment to your relationship with God." Express your concern to God and pray for the Spirit's help in managing your urges, but don't be dismayed if a miracle of deliverance doesn't occur until you're married.
Is occasional masturbation by a single 21-year-old guy even a sin? I'm not convinced. Is a wet dream a sin?
Do you know how many pastors struggle with inappropriate contentography addiction and deviant urges and practices? Research indicate it's a lot. Unless your problem is much more significant than your post suggests, I would say "I think your attitude is what is making this an impediment to your relationship with God. Relax, communicate with God about it, and get on with your Christian walk."
I hate to be THAT guy, but what you just shared is simply not scriptural.
What it is is acceptance of sin continuing in our lives as normal, unavoidable, and as 'no big deal', so don't sweat it. We do not realize that sin, big or small, especially willful sin, breaks fellowship with God. He is still our savior, but He is distant, not close.
And why do we not realize it? Because we have grown up as part of the church that cannot walk in victory.
But is this what our God has promised us? Does He not tell us that sin shall NOT have dominion over us, that He will set us free indeed? Does our shield of faith actually quench Satans arrows as promised? Is it possible to bring every thought unto the obedience of Christ? Do we not get it? It MUST BE, unless..... unless our God is a liar.
We are even now entering the valley of decision. Will we believe our God? No matter what? Glory to God, His promises are yea and amen. And there exists a way for every single person to walk in victory over the world, the flesh.... OUR flesh.... and the devil himself.
But here is the deal. It is our refusing to lower the standard of walking pure before the Lord, and to break before Him and cry out with all that is within us to "make me holy!", that will move our God to "do it for us".... IN us.
Hunger must preceed being satisfied. Tears must preceed joy. Brokenness must supplant pride. Guys, God is about to open eyes to the HOW of holiness, where joy flows like a river, where no sin, even addictions can stand up to Christ in us. Not with us. IN.
Things are about to get really good. But know this. If we continue to sin willfully, there remains no more sacrifice for sin but a certain FEARFUL looking for of judgment. We are going to have to face that as truth, regardless of how it fits our understanding of being saved. Sin hardens hearts. Period.
blessings to all,
Gids