How to stand in the Gap

[Indea88]

Iv'e been told by many believers in my church to stand in the Gap for my husband and continue to pray for healing and reconciliation. I'm finding it hard to pray for him with each week that goes by.
He has been gone for 5 weeks. He is hiding his car and driving a friends, housesitting for a friend while they are in Jamaica and has all of his money in his pocket each week on payday.He has given me three money orders and says why don't you pay the electric bill with this! ( 3 seventy five dollar money orders)
I am struggling with filling for support. I keep thinking it will impede chances for recovery of our marriage.On the other hand bills need to be paid, before I lose eveything.
Anyone with any thoughts on how to pray for my husband (who doesn't want to be home) and what to do about filing for support. Thanks for any thoughts and prayers

 

[madison1101]

Your husband has a legal obligation to support his children. You can stand in the gap by holding him responsible for his children. Keep praying for reconciliation, but seek legal advice for child support. The two are not mutually exclusive.

 

[Brotherfromanothermother]

Your husband has a legal obligation to support his children. You can stand in the gap by holding him responsible for his children. Keep praying for reconciliation, but seek legal advice for child support. The two are not mutually exclusive.

I agree.
I tend to not be as big on reconciliation when it comes to deceit
and a spouse moves out of the house and makes it known they aren't interested. Certainly it's important to give them the chance but how long? Some will say until the Lord tells you or something along that vein. Sometimes it's pretty obvious by the spouses actions or inactions for that matter. If a spouse makes ultimate decisions and doesn't have a heart to repent...

 

[Gimpy]

If such a thing would impede your reviving your marriage, then does he really love you?

 

[tryingtobeagain]

I agree with Gimpy. If he really loves you then make sure you have a home for him to come back to. You can support your husband as a good wife should by making sure the responsibilities are taken care of and the children (if any) are looked after. If you are truly seeking reconciliation then push it, go to counselling by yourself if he won't come and look after the house and yourself.

 

[Godisgr8r]

Your husband has a legal obligation to support his children. You can stand in the gap by holding him responsible for his children. Keep praying for reconciliation, but seek legal advice for child support. The two are not mutually exclusive.

I agree. He needs to hold up his part in the support of the children and making sure they have a home to live in.

 

[AliOgg]

Iv'e been told by many believers in my church to stand in the Gap for my husband and continue to pray for healing and reconciliation. I'm finding it hard to pray for him with each week that goes by.
He has been gone for 5 weeks. He is hiding his car and driving a friends, housesitting for a friend while they are in Jamaica and has all of his money in his pocket each week on payday.He has given me three money orders and says why don't you pay the electric bill with this! ( 3 seventy five dollar money orders)
I am struggling with filling for support. I keep thinking it will impede chances for recovery of our marriage.On the other hand bills need to be paid, before I lose eveything.
Anyone with any thoughts on how to pray for my husband (who doesn't want to be home) and what to do about filing for support. Thanks for any thoughts and prayers

God Bless You

could someone please explain what is meant by stand in the gap?

And God Bless All His Peoples.

 

[Indea88]

Thanks, standing in the Gap for my husband is praying for God's will in his life, praying for ministering angels and Godly men to surround him, not giving up on the healing and possible reconsiliation of this covenent. This is extremely hard some days.

 

[4Christ2]

Indea,

I am praying in agreement with you for the restoration and reconciliation of your marriage. When my ex asked for a divorce; I made it far too easy for him to get it. I just signed the papers and let him go. He married another 2 months after the divorce.

I agreed also to $500/month in child support and never took him through Child Support Enforcement. If you just can't take him through the government system for support because your conscious will not let you; at least put down in writing what you want in child support each month and get him to sign it in front of a Notary. Keep clear records each month of each payment made, the amount and date.

I wish I had taken him through the system for the child support. I wouldn't have to talk to him each month or beg if some of the money is missing. Our son is also 17 years old and can earn money for himself. If your children are young; THEY deserve to live the kind of lifestyle they would have if their parents were together. Don't let the children suffer for anything -- make him pay what he owes.

God Bless and Keep You,
Love in Christ, Sister 4C

Sometimes my ex doesn't give me all he promised in child support - ex: "I don't have it all this month because I had to pay property taxes." Or, he will deduct amounts if he does something for our son.

My advice is to continue to pray and believe the Lord for what His will is for your marriage.

 

[Indea88]

Thank you for your prayers! I do know that you can always go back an issue a child support enforcement order at any time, wages can be attached if he has a documentable income. I did this with my first husband who used to give monies when it was convenient, He has had a wage enforcement for 10 years. It becomes a non issue, the money will always appear in your account and you don't have to see him. In my first marriage I was married to an unbeliever and the divorce occured regardless.
This marriage my DH came to the Lord last year, we are married and still have a covenant in my mind until he decides to file. I feel at this time I will wait and stand in the Gap praying for healing until that time. I did go to file and had to leave in order to meet my son's bus. They informed me that I would have to return when my name would be called. I took this as a sign that this was not the time, I would wait for a bit to see what transpires..

 

[4Christ2]

Thank you for your prayers! I do know that you can always go back an issue a child support enforcement order at any time, wages can be attached if he has a documentable income. I did this with my first husband who used to give monies when it was convenient, He has had a wage enforcement for 10 years. It becomes a non issue, the money will always appear in your account and you don't have to see him. In my first marriage I was married to an unbeliever and the divorce occured regardless.
This marriage my DH came to the Lord last year, we are married and still have a covenant in my mind until he decides to file. I feel at this time I will wait and stand in the Gap praying for healing until that time. I did go to file and had to leave in order to meet my son's bus. They informed me that I would have to return when my name would be called. I took this as a sign that this was not the time, I would wait for a bit to see what transpires..

Waiting is always a good plan sister in cases like this. I admire your courage and patience. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[AliOgg]

Thanks, standing in the Gap for my husband is praying for God's will in his life, praying for ministering angels and Godly men to surround him, not giving up on the healing and possible reconsiliation of this covenent. This is extremely hard some days.

God Bless You

thank you, it is important for us to pray for others especially those who have hurt us, I am praying that the Lord help and guide you through these difficult times

And God Bless All His Peoples.

 

[rejectedbymen]

Wow. First I just want to say I can't imagine the pain you are in and your suffering is not going unnoticed.

Your suffering produces perseverance which produces character and that will bring you to hope. Hope DOES NOT disappoint because God has poured out HIS love into your heart by the Holy Spirit if you have surrendered in faith to believe in your heart that Jesus died and was raised from the dead. (Romans 5:3-5, Romans 10:9-10

Assuming you believe the Bible is the Word of God and is God (John 1:1), and you believe that all Scripture is God breathed and useful for teaching, correcting, etc (2 Timothy 3:16-17), then here is a suggestion for you to investigate...


The Bible says if someone is sinning against you, speak one on one with them (your husband in this case) to see if that will solve things. Clearly, it's not so bring 2 or 3 people with you to try to resolve it. If that doesn't work, the Bible says bring it to the attention of the elders of your CHURCH and then the church will come along side you. If this doesn't help, he will treated as a Gentile (non-believer) Matthew 18.

At this point, 1 Corinthians 7 says (with edit for your purposes):

"To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord):
A wife MUST NOT SEPARATE from her husband.
But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

To the rest I say this (I, NOT the Lord):
....If a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. ...for the unbelieveing husband husband has been sanctified (cleaned) through his wife.

...But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so.
A believing woman is not bound in such circumstances;
God has called us to live in peace.

Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him.

This is the rule I lay down in all the churches."

I hope this helps you to see the path laid before you and you may want to memorize Proverbs 3:5-6 & Philippians 4:6-8 to help you through this difficult time.

Nothing is impossible for God (Mark 10:27)r and I know that's hard to see right now but He sees everything and will always give you refuge in Him (Psalm 94:22) if you truly believe in His Son, Jesus (John 10:28-30).

Wait for Him, ask Him to rescue you, let Him make your paths straight and give you peace.

If you have any more questions, look up James 1, I hope it brings you comfort and encouragement.

Peace

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

Only Jesus can really "stand in the gap" I'd give him to Jesus and concentrate on yerself.