How to quit the search for God

Lord'sWarrior

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14 years ago I started my spiritual search. I read books on buddhism and eastern philosophies and never got nothing out of it. Last year some verses of the Bible caught my attention and I read the book. And even study it and tried to believe. None of the approaches, western or eastern has satisfied this thirst in me for truth.

Now, dissatisfied with it all, and probably knowing I might not get the answer here, I'll ask how am I to quit this search for the unatainable, the transcendence for God? I have it in the back of my mind always. Now I'm fixed on christianity but I'm dropping it out, probabily. Books don't set us free. I'm stuck and don't want to get even more stuck.

Most of you probably don't identify yourselves with this search for truth at no expenses, and will defend christianity with somr justification. If it is for that only that you'll be replying do not bother.

Or you point me in the direction of truth - if it has a direction - or you help get this thought of attaining liberation out of my mind. Anything else, no thank you.
 
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Albion

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On the contrary, a lot of us have been both searchers and deeply concerned about spiritual matters. Many people went through periods of seeking, with a lot of disappointment and uncertainty, even involving non-Christian religions. Yet most come to some resolution of their doubts sooner or later. I'd suggest keeping up your search but with this additional advice--if you do it totally from afar through books and so on, you're likely to be troubled for longer periods of time and perhaps forever.

You simply have to get closer to the religions or churches that you are interested in. You must see them up close and in operation, and I don't mean by a single visit. You must do this (in addition to reading about them, etc.) if you are to either close the door on them or find, at last, what you are looking for.
 
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What is truth? How do you define truth?

Is it possible that you could have acknowledged truth in the past but went over it in search of something "greater" because you didn't get a somatic sensation or break down at earth shattering revelation?

If and when you do find the ultimate metaphysical destination you crave, what then? What about the journey?
 
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david.d

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If you are searching, then God has already found you. The lost don't know they are lost, otherwise they would find their way. The word of God is written in our hearts and truth is revealed to us by Him. Serve God and he will reveal the truth.

Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
Matthew 5:6 KJV
 
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Lord'sWarrior

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What is truth? How do you define truth?

Is it possible that you could have acknowledged truth in the past but went over it in search of something "greater" because you didn't get a somatic sensation or break down at earth shattering revelation?

If and when you do find the ultimate metaphysical destination you crave, what then? What about the journey?

I just want to be satisfied. That's the meaning of drinking from Jesus' water. But I can't seem to have a sip. Truth meaning being satisfied.
 
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Lord'sWarrior

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If you are searching, then God has already found you. The lost don't know they are lost, otherwise they would find their way. The word of God is written in our hearts and truth is revealed to us by Him. Serve God and he will reveal the truth.

Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
Matthew 5:6 KJV

But I'm still thirsty.
 
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Albion

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All right then. Let's get down to basics. That's probably unavoidable if we are to give you really helpful replies.

What churches or religions have you belonged to or attended as part of your search? What about each one let you down? Are there any specific views on God or salvation or anything else that you have come to know you must have if any church or religion is to be "the one" you are looking for?
 
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W2L

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I ruined my life, and have suffered much for it. Do i have my full measure of God? No, but i haven't exactly been a model Christian either. I am filled with hope however. The scriptures say that we look to eternal things in heaven, not temporary things on earth. This is walking by faith not sight. My eternal hope is to live, and the Lord promises this. Walk by faith not sight. Colossians 3:2-3
 
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Lord'sWarrior

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Be patient. It can take God many years to get you to confess and repent of all your sins which is necessary to have peace in the spirit of God.

Can you explain more on this? Do I still have to suffer more so I can be well? Is that it?
 
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Ah, well, it's impossible for anyone to really give you an answer that will fix everything.

What I would suggest is a period of intensive self-examination to find out if you really have the desire to be a Christian based on nothing more than holding yourself up to the 10 commandments.

Put yourself in front of them all and be as analytical as possible. Ask yourself how much of your time and energy you dedicate toward following Christ's message every day John 14:23

If you find that you do desire to be a Christian deep down, then you will feel a change in the way you live your life. You will grow into a life that revolves around repentance and sanctification. You will learn to dislike sinning that was once pleasurable and you will feel worse about sinning from then on. That's what it feels like to truly accept the Holy Spirit and live a life open to His guidance. 2 Corinthians 13:3-5

I would recommend take a cursory glace through the verses in the link below

18 Bible verses about Examining Yourself

May the Lord bless and guide you
 
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FireDragon76

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You simply have to get closer to the religions or churches that you are interested in. You must see them up close and in operation, and I don't mean by a single visit. You must do this (in addition to reading about them, etc.) if you are to either close the door on them or find, at last, what you are looking for.

That's good advice, a book can only tell you so much about it. What people say about their religion and how they actual do that religion are two different things.

If I judged my current Lutheran church by what I had only read about Lutherans on the internet or in books, I don't think I would have set a foot in the door. I remember several years ago reading a book by an LCMS pastor/theologian and coming away thinking it was a hopelessly dull, empty religion that offered nothing spiritually except passivity and neglect glossed over by a trite analysis of the human condition. It took an authentic relationship for me to understand where Lutherans were coming from.

God is incomprehensible and if you just keep searching without looking for a relationship of some sort, including the necessary personal vulnerability and humility, you are going to feel lost. I used to practice Buddhism years ago and one of my favorite teachers had a 1st commandment that said that truth has to be found in life, and not dogmas, and I still think that is a useful guide. I actually don't think that's incompatible with a Christian approach to things, either. So often we are really just being the autonomous decider or spiritual consumer and pretending our preferences are absolute Truth, that's a way to eliminate the real hard work of personal growth. It's possible to get stuck being a dry dogmatist and to speak and believe with a false assurance. That's why Jesus says his disciples will put his words into action.
 
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FireDragon76

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There's nothing wrong with wandering. An Episcopalian priest a year ago told me that Abraham wandered, but God was with him in his journey. Feeling confused and wandering is perfectly valid spiritually, it doesn't mean you are lost. It's a struggle to accept because we live in a religious environment where stark certainties and clarity are considered the measure of spiritual truth, but that doesn't mean that has to dictate how we should feel about ourselves.
 
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FoundInGrace

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Sounds flippant but Jesus is the Truth.. Maybe seek Jesus and getting to know Jesus and the thirst will be met. Bible talks about Living water..Jesus said those who come to Him will never thirst.
Maybe it's about getting to know Jesus as the focus of your search.
I know for me I had to have the reality of God and had searched many places wandered many places but in that search for God i got to the point that i needed God for real and He did meet me and healed every hurt i'd ever had. And things changed after that.
The God of the Bible (I call Him the One True God) says 'you will seek me and find me when you search for me with all of your heart'
 
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rockytopva

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George Clark Rankin tells how he found God over 150 years ago in 1866...

"Grandfather was kind to me and considerate of me, yet he was strict with me. I worked along with him in the field when the weather was agreeable and when it was inclement I helped him in his hatter's shop, for the Civil War was in progress and he had returned at odd times to hatmaking. It was my business in the shop to stretch foxskins and coonskins across a wood-horse and with a knife, made for that purpose, pluck the hair from the fur. I despise the odor of foxskins and coonskins to this good day. He had me to walk two miles every Sunday to Dandridge to Church service and Sunday-school, rain or shine, wet or dry, cold or hot; yet he had fat horses standing in his stable. But he was such a blue-stocking Presbyterian that he never allowed a bridle to go on a horse's head on Sunday. The beasts had to have a day of rest. Old Doctor Minnis was the pastor, and he was the dryest and most interminable preacher I ever heard in my life. He would stand motionless and read his sermons from manuscript for one hour and a half at a time and sometimes longer. Grandfather would sit and never take his eyes off of him, except to glance at me to keep me quiet. It was torture to me." - George Clark Rankin

Then he got it good in the Methodist church in Georgia...

...Quote...

After the team had been fed and we had been to supper we put the mules to the wagon, filled it with chairs and we were off to the meeting. When we reached the locality it was about dark and the people were assembling. Their horses and wagons filled up the cleared spaces and the singing was already in progress. My uncle and his family went well up toward the front, but I dropped into a seat well to the rear. It was an old-fashioned Church, ancient in appearance, oblong in shape and unpretentious. It was situated in a grove about one hundred yards from the road. It was lighted with old tallow-dip candles furnished by the neighbors. It was not a prepossessing-looking place, but it was soon crowded and evidently there was a great deal of interest. A cadaverous-looking man stood up in front with a tuning fork and raised and led the songs. There were a few prayers and the minister came in with his saddlebags and entered the pulpit. He was the Rev. W. H. Heath, the circuit rider. His prayer impressed me with his earnestness and there were many amens to it in the audience. I do not remember his text, but it was a typical revival sermon, full of unction and power.

At its close he invited penitents to the altar and a great many young people flocked to it and bowed for prayer. Many of them became very much affected and they cried out distressingly for mercy. It had a strange effect on me. It made me nervous and I wanted to retire. Directly my uncle came back to me, put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I did not want to be religious. I told him that I had always had that desire, that mother had brought me up that way, and really I did not know anything else. Then he wanted to know if I had ever professed religion. I hardly understood what he meant and did not answer him. He changed his question and asked me if I had ever been to the altar for prayer, and I answered him in the negative. Then he earnestly besought me to let him take me up to the altar and join the others in being prayed for. It really embarrassed me and I hardly knew what to say to him. He spoke to me of my mother and said that when she was a little girl she went to the altar and that Christ accepted her and she had been a good Christian all these years. That touched me in a tender spot, for mother always did do what was right; and then I was far away from her and wanted to see her. Oh, if she were there to tell me what to do!

By and by I yielded to his entreaty and he led forward to the altar. The minister took me by the hand and spoke tenderly to me as I knelt at the altar. I had gone more out of sympathy than conviction, and I did not know what to do after I bowed there. The others were praying aloud and now and then one would rise shoutingly happy and make the old building ring with his glad praise. It was a novel experience to me. I did not know what to pray for, neither did I know what to expect if I did pray. I spent the most of the hour wondering why I was there and what it all meant. No one explained anything to me. Once in awhile some good old brother or sister would pass my way, strike me on the back and tell me to look up and believe and the blessing would come. But that was not encouraging to me. In fact, it sounded like nonsense and the noise was distracting me. Even in my crude way of thinking I had an idea that religion was a sensible thing and that people ought to become religious intelligently and without all that hurrah. I presume that my ideas were the result of the Presbyterian training given to me by old grandfather. By and by my knees grew tired and the skin was nearly rubbed off my elbows. I thought the service never would close, and when it did conclude with the benediction I heaved a sigh of relief. That was my first experience at the mourner's bench.

As we drove home I did not have much to say, but I listened attentively to the conversation between my uncle and his wife. They were greatly impressed with the meeting, and they spoke first of this one and that one who had "come through" and what a change it would make in the community, as many of them were bad boys. As we were putting up the team my uncle spoke very encouragingly to me; he was delighted with the step I had taken and he pleaded with me not to turn back, but to press on until I found the pearl of great price. He knew my mother would be very happy over the start I had made. Before going to sleep I fell into a train of thought, though I was tired and exhausted. I wondered why I had gone to that altar and what I had gained by it. I felt no special conviction and had received no special impression, but then if my mother had started that way there must be something in it, for she always did what was right. I silently lifted my heart to God in prayer for conviction and guidance. I knew how to pray, for I had come up through prayer, but not the mourner's bench sort. So I determined to continue to attend the meeting and keep on going to the altar until I got religion.

Early the next morning I was up and in a serious frame of mind. I went with the other hands to the cottonfield and at noon I slipped off in the barn and prayed. But the more I thought of the way those young people were moved in the meeting and with what glad hearts they had shouted their praises to God the more it puzzled and confused me. I could not feel the conviction that they had and my heart did not feel melted and tender. I was callous and unmoved in feeling and my distress on account of sin was nothing like theirs. I did not understand my own state of mind and heart. It troubled me, for by this time I really wanted to have an experience like theirs.

When evening came I was ready for Church service and was glad to go. It required no urging. Another large crowd was present and the preacher was as earnest as ever. I did not give much heed to the sermon. In fact, I do not recall a word of it. I was anxious for him to conclude and give me a chance to go to the altar. I had gotten it into my head that there was some real virtue in the mourner's bench; and when the time came I was one of the first to prostrate myself before the altar in prayer. Many others did likewise. Two or three good people at intervals knelt by me and spoke encouragingly to me, but they did not help me. Their talks were mere exhortations to earnestness and faith, but there was no explanation of faith, neither was there any light thrown upon my mind and heart. I wrought myself up into tears and cries for help, but the whole situation was dark and I hardly knew why I cried, or what was the trouble with me. Now and then others would arise from the altar in an ecstasy of joy, but there was no joy for me. When the service closed I was discouraged and felt that maybe I was too hardhearted and the good Spirit could do nothing for me.

After we went home I tossed on the bed before going to sleep and wondered why God did not do for me what he had done for mother and what he was doing in that meeting for those young people at the altar. I could not understand it. But I resolved to keep on trying, and so dropped off to sleep. The next day I had about the same experience and at night saw no change in my condition. And so for several nights I repeated the same distressing experience. The meeting took on such interest that a day service was adopted along with the night exercises, and we attended that also. And one morning while I bowed at the altar in a very disturbed state of mind Brother Tyson, a good local preacher and the father of Rev. J. F. Tyson, now of the Central Conference, sat down by me and, putting his hand on my shoulder, said to me: "Now I want you to sit up awhile and let's talk this matter over quietly. I am sure that you are in earnest, for you have been coming to this altar night after night for several days. I want to ask you a few simple questions." And the following questions were asked and answered:

"My son, do you not love God?"

"I cannot remember when I did not love him."

"Do you believe on his Son, Jesus Christ?"

"I have always believed on Christ. My mother taught me that from my earliest recollection."

"Do you accept him as your Savior?"

"I certainly do, and have always done so."

"Can you think of any sin that is between you and the Savior?"

"No, sir; for I have never committed any bad sins."

"Do you love everybody?"

"Well, I love nearly everybody, but I have no ill-will toward any one. An old man did me a wrong not long ago and I acted ugly toward him, but I do not care to injure him."

"Can you forgive him?"

"Yes, if he wanted me to."

"But, down in your heart, can you wish him well?"

"Yes, sir; I can do that."

"Well, now let me say to you that if you love God, if you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior from sin and if you love your fellowmen and intend by God's help to lead a religious life, that's all there is to religion. In fact, that is all I know about it."

Then he repeated several passages of Scriptures to me proving his assertions. I thought a moment and said to him: "But I do not feel like these young people who have been getting religion night after night. I cannot get happy like them. I do not feel like shouting."

The good man looked at me and smiled and said: "Ah, that's your trouble. You have been trying to feel like them. Now you are not them; you are yourself. You have your own quiet disposition and you are not turned like them. They are excitable and blustery like they are. They give way to their feelings. That's all right, but feeling is not religion. Religion is faith and life. If you have violent feeling with it, all good and well, but if you have faith and not much feeling, why the feeling will take care of itself. To love God and accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, turning away from all sin, and living a godly life, is the substance of true religion."

That was new to me, yet it had been my state of mind from childhood. For I remembered that away back in my early life, when the old preacher held services in my grandmother's house one day and opened the door of the Church, I went forward and gave him my hand. He was to receive me into full membership at the end of six months' probation, but he let it pass out of his mind and failed to attend to it.

As I sat there that morning listening to the earnest exhortation of the good man my tears ceased, my distress left me, light broke in upon my mind, my heart grew joyous, and before I knew just what I was doing I was going all around shaking hands with everybody, and my confusion and darkness disappeared and a great burden rolled off my spirit. I felt exactly like I did when I was a little boy around my mother's knee when she told of Jesus and God and Heaven. It made my heart thrill then, and the same old experience returned to me in that old country Church that beautiful September morning down in old North Georgia.

As we returned home the sun shone brighter, the birds sang sweeter and the autumn-time looked richer than ever before. My heart was light and my spirit buoyant. I had anchored my soul in the haven of rest, and there was not a ripple upon the current of my joy. That night there was no service and after supper I walked out under the great old pine trees and held communion with God. I thought of mother, and home, and Heaven.

I at once gave my name to the preacher for membership in the Church, and the following Sunday morning, along with many others, he received me into full membership in the Methodist Episcopal Church, South. It was one of the most delightful days in my recollection. It was the third Sunday in September, 1866, and those Church vows became a living principle in my heart and life. During these forty-five long years, with their alternations of sunshine and shadow, daylight and darkness, success and failure, rejoicing and weeping, fears within and fightings without, I have never ceased to thank God for that autumnal day in the long ago when my name was registered in the Lamb's Book of Life.

.../Quote...
 
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DingDing

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14 years ago I started my spiritual search. ...

You are way behind the power curve here.

Most of you probably don't identify yourselves with this search for truth at no expenses...

Again, you are way behind the power curve here.

Let me know when you want to get real.
 
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Ignatius the Kiwi

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Reading spiritual books can only get you so far because part of the journey means living it as well. Living spiritual is not just having a prayer life or doing "spiritual" things, but even mundane things, like working, being creative, enjoying aesthetics and etc.

Don't stop reading and researching, but don't think that they can explain everything in life. We can live good Christian lives even if we haven't had a mystical encounter from God.
 
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