How to pray for people you cannot stand/ hate the most?

[Michie]

Suggestions? I won't try to justify my feelings.

 

[A_Thinker]

Suggestions? I won't try to justify my feelings.

Pray for them to be blessed with personal growth ...

 

[Breve]

Pray for Jesus to show them to you how he sees them.

 

[Little Lantern]

What if you prayed for the LORD to let you see them through His eyes?

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I ask god to do it for me/ thru me

 

[Michie]

The thing is... I want to forgive and fix it somehow but they refuse and keep adding insult to injury. Makes me sick.

 

[Little Lantern]

The thing is... I want to forgive and fix it somehow but they refuse and keep adding insult to injury.

A hard lesson to learn is that forgiveness on your part does not necessarily include fixing/reconciling the issue. Forgiveness and reconciliation are two different steps. You can forgive on your end, but fixing it will take both parties. If they refuse, that's on them, not you. Don't take on false responsibility for their end.

Forgive them, pray for them, and deal with them in peace to the extent possible (Romans 12:18), keeping in mind that at times, that might mean backing off a bit from the relationship.

 

[longhair75]

It is interesting that you would start this thread at this time. Last week in the Alumni thread from my high school there was a prayer request thread. The Priest who was the Superintendent of my high school is suffering from Parkinson's Disease.

Our relationship was not a good one. There is no point in trying to explain it here, but it was very tempting to renew the antagonism. I decided that fifty years was long enough to hold a grudge and offered my prayers.

 

[Phil 1:21]

Suggestions? I won't try to justify my feelings.

"...and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us."

 

[Michie]

God knows I want to forgive but sometimes people won't let you. I
pray for them and wish no ill on anyone but God knows how I feel.

 

[Phil 1:21]

God knows I want to forgive but sometimes people won't let you.

Your forgiveness is not contingent upon another's acceptance. In what way are they "not allowing" you to forgive them?

 

[PittBullMom]

God knows I want to forgive but sometimes people won't let you. I
pray for them and wish no ill on anyone but God knows how I feel.

Did you ever just ask them outright, please forgive me?

 

[Michie]

What I am saying is I want to forgive but I don't feel it. I still
hold resentment. If you don't get it you don't get it. But forgiveness is much more than making a vapid statement of forgiveness and still feeling unhealthy about the situation. It is a process to work through. Being repeatedly slandered, etc. Does not make it easy. Judge me if you must. I won't go into it further.

Your forgiveness is not contingent upon another's acceptance. In what way are they "not allowing" you to forgive them?

 

[Michie]

I've tried to fix it multiple times and they refuse. Problem is, I never did anything. They made stuff up. And have a long standing habit of doing the same to others. But it has had some drastic repercussions within the family and they don't care. They won't discuss anything. They are just impossible.

Did you ever just ask them outright, please forgive me?

 

[Michie]

I've tried to fix it multiple times and they refuse. Problem is, I never did anything. They made stuff up. And have a long standing habit of doing the same to others. But it has had some drastic repercussions within the family and they don't care. They won't discuss anything. They are just impossible.

Did you ever just ask them outright, please forgive me?

 

[Phil 1:21]

What I am saying is I want to forgive but I don't feel it. I still
hold resentment. If you don't get it you don't get it. But forgiveness is much more than making a vapid statement of forgiveness and still feeling unhealthy about the situation. It is a process to work through. Being repeatedly slandered, etc. Does not make it easy. Judge me if you must. I won't go into it further.

Whoa...gently apply the brakes.

You stated that they won't allow you to forgive them, and that's why I commented as I did. Forgiveness is never about "them," it's about us. If I "didn't feel it" and still held resentment then I'd be praying to God to change my heart so that I could extend forgiveness as He has forgiven me. If the situation for which I need to forgive was still happening, I would remove myself from that situation...family or not.

 

[Michie]

Whoa...gently apply the brakes.

You stated that they won't allow you to forgive them, and that's why I commented as I did. Forgiveness is never about "them," it's about us. If I "didn't feel it" and still held resentment then I'd be praying to God to change my heart so that I could extend forgiveness as He has forgiven me. If the situation for which I need to forgive was still happening, I would remove myself from that situation...family or not.

Sorry. It has not been a good week for me. My apologies.

 

[Phil 1:21]

Sorry. It has not been a good week for me. My apologies.

No worries, friend. I hope it gets better.

 

[PittBullMom]

That makes it tough. I was just reading a book on suffering, and arguments and unforgiveness was a topic. There were many stories of desert fathers taking the slander and abuse for the sake of Christ. When the abuse stopped they cried because they no longer had the suffering to draw them close to God and help them in their humility and humbleness. In conclusion these tough pains turn out to be great blessings and we should thank God for pruning our souls to bear more fruit. Just offer it up.