How to move forward?

[Retro girl 2013]

Hello,
I'm new to understanding Aspergers and this forum. I was wondering if there might be some Aspies who can give me some advice? Recently, my husband and I came across info on Aspergers and we were quite stunned as the characteristics matched my husband to a tee. He had been suspected of ADHD as a child but AS seems more accurate. This revelation is an amazing gift to me because it sheds new light on many times of great confusion and frustration for me (and for him too Im sure). My question is "What now?" "Where to from here?" I get the impression that he is not interested in being diagnosed, but I haven't directly discussed it yet. Is it advantageous to get a proper diagnosis?
Thanks

 

[dayhiker]

I don't think you need to have an official pronouncement that he is AS.

Where to go. 1st there is recognizing all the ways/places that its manifest and just saying to yourself OK there is his AS again. That helped me a lot, as I could now say when I go into this fast pace interactive group game, I'm going to feel totally uncomfortable. How do I wish to handle it? Not play, sit on the sideline. Play and make a fool of myself, but comedians do that all the time as just laugh it off, I think I'll laugh with everyone else as I loss big time! Or I got into the situation and start to learn how to handle it.

Learning is the central thing to understand in my mind. What is your husband willing to learn and what isn't he willing to learn. As long as he is willing to learn he can improve how he interacts in that situation.

 

[Retro girl 2013]

Thanks Dayhiker, that is really helpful.
So my husband being able to classify his own traits as AS, having more self understanding, should enable him to realise he can make choices about his response, not just react? When someone first comes to understand that they have AS, does it take them a long time to learn how to manage and improve their situation?