How to help a friend....

[ttreg]

Hello. I don't know if this is the right forums, but I didnt see a better one to post in....
Well, I've had some close female friends, and it seems that most of them have gone through abuse of some kind or another by their parents or others....
Sometimes they bring it up wanting to talk about it, and, I'm sad to say, I dont know what to do...I mean, I try to be there for them as a friend and everything, but it seems I never know how to really cheer them up and be there for them.
I try, but I've never been good with such things.
What I'm asking is, what exactly can I do/say be a better help to them? I hate seeing my friends feeling hurt...

 

[drich0150]

there rarely is a passage or thing you can say to make thing's all better at one sitting. It's a combined process, one with many many ups and downs. It's also something not to be taken lightly or a way to score brownie points on a road past friendship. It is better for you not to be involved than to be there half heartedly. Not everyone will look to you for the same kind of help, but if you do put it out there that you are willing to help then you need to be there, and be there consistently.. This is what the true road to recovery looks like. If you are looking for a quick fix for your friends or something to help things "move along" then it's best to direct them some place else. If your looking to truly be there then I'd do some google searches and try to understand the healing process, and fill in where they need help.

 

[Ariel]

Ttreg, what a kind heart you have that you want to help a friend.

As a friend you can't be expected to be a therapist, nor should you even try. No one expects you to make a committed effort to be there for someone who is hurting.

But you can help your friends. You don't have to say much. Just something like, "I'm sorry," or "I am so sorry"--and then just be there. Ask her if she wants to talk about it. Let her cry. Just give her a gentle hug. That is all that is needed, really, just to be a friend who can be trusted, who will listen and not judge. Then when you are alone, pray for that person and give the situation to God. It will be too heavy for you to carry alone--so give it to Him. He will take it from you.

Be blessed.

 

[havana16]

Hi T treg, As a domestic violence survivor I can say just be there when they want to talk it takes more than words to heal it takes prayer and God to make them whole again It is so good to hear how people care about their friends and you seem ti be one for your friends! do alot of praying and perhaps finds some books at the Christian nature about healing in their kind of situations I did this and Imade it thru after 13 years ago!

 

[kat69]

Ttreg, what a kind heart you have that you want to help a friend.

As a friend you can't be expected to be a therapist, nor should you even try. No one expects you to make a committed effort to be there for someone who is hurting.

But you can help your friends. You don't have to say much. Just something like, "I'm sorry," or "I am so sorry"--and then just be there. Ask her if she wants to talk about it. Let her cry. Just give her a gentle hug. That is all that is needed, really, just to be a friend who can be trusted, who will listen and not judge. Then when you are alone, pray for that person and give the situation to God. It will be too heavy for you to carry alone--so give it to Him. He will take it from you.

Be blessed.