How to heal from all of this...

[weallknowfrogsgoladida]

My last post leads me to this. How to be more humble and obedient..
I came out of occult to Jesus with many many tears of repentance.
The problem is, I still have a rebellious attitude at times. My mind is not always loving towards God and Even though my husband does not identify as Christian, I struggle with obedience to him.
I struggle to hear Gods voice, to have godly wisdom, in discernment, and knowing how to live the best life in this difficult modern world... My mind and spirit is damaged from the occult and because of not listening to God in the past and because of reading too much rubbish on the internet (as in trying to keep up with what is going on in the anglican church as our child is at an anglican school and finding their theological synod debates harming my mind, or accidentally stumbling across images or words of others I didnt want to see- the internet has become such a dangerous place!). I try to listen to God now but I am damaged and my ability to hear from God his will for my life is dampened because of my previous rebellion. I have trouble trusting anyone as I have had spiritual, mental and physical abuse and a lot of trauma over life. So i find myself walking away from other people and Christians or hastily judging them because I am afraid of being harmed again. I feel I have developed a major mistrust which has almost developed into a critical spirit of everyone and a lack of appreciation of life.
I was never brought up Christian, and because of my life experiences, have had very little role modelling of how to pray, how to read the bible, how to talk to others about Jesus. And because I suffer crippling anxiety and depression because of all this, I am a daily failure at being a good role model and witness for the Christian life in my family. I lack wisdom on how to teach my son about Jesus, and lack energy to discipline him properly. I think I am a terrible wife and Mum but it also doesnt help having physical and mental health issues and a husband who is constantly putting you down because he just thinks your "lazy." (Chronic fatigue is not laziness, am only just starting to feel better after a year off work).

 

[weallknowfrogsgoladida]

My last post leads me to this. How to be more humble and obedient..
I came out of occult to Jesus with many many tears of repentance.
The problem is, I still have a rebellious attitude at times. My mind is not always loving towards God and Even though my husband does not identify as Christian, I struggle with obedience to him.
I struggle to hear Gods voice, to have godly wisdom, in discernment, and knowing how to live the best life in this difficult modern world... My mind and spirit is damaged from the occult and because of not listening to God in the past and because of reading too much rubbish on the internet (as in trying to keep up with what is going on in the anglican church as our child is at an anglican school and finding their theological synod debates harming my mind, or accidentally stumbling across images or words of others I didnt want to see- the internet has become such a dangerous place!). I try to listen to God now but I am damaged and my ability to hear from God his will for my life is dampened because of my previous rebellion. I have trouble trusting anyone as I have had spiritual, mental and physical abuse and a lot of trauma over life. So i find myself walking away from other people and Christians or hastily judging them because I am afraid of being harmed again. I feel I have developed a major mistrust which has almost developed into a critical spirit of everyone and a lack of appreciation of life.
I was never brought up Christian, and because of my life experiences, have had very little role modelling of how to pray, how to read the bible, how to talk to others about Jesus. And because I suffer crippling anxiety and depression because of all this, I am a daily failure at being a good role model and witness for the Christian life in my family. I lack wisdom on how to teach my son about Jesus, and lack energy to discipline him properly. I think I am a terrible wife and Mum but it also doesnt help having physical and mental health issues and a husband who is constantly putting you down because he just thinks your "lazy." (Chronic fatigue is not laziness, am only just starting to feel better after a year off work).

Oh and to clarify, it was occult abuse not church abuse I experienced..

 

[Kenny'sID]

I hardly have all the answers for you, but for me, I do something that I always tend to think is not an option, or just never think about doing. If for instance I don't know what real faith entails or how to have it, I ask God how.

The most recent, the verse that states:

Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. Mark 11:24

I read it and needed to know badly, but found I had no idea how to do that, I asked and though not that easy, I have a pretty good idea how now.

If I think I'm not pleasing him in some way I don't know about, I ask him to tell me. I think it has a lot to do with just showing him you are concerned, and that in itself means a lot to him..enough to where he is happy to help. Not only that but "Ask and ye shall receive" is actually Biblical so, whatever it may be, give it a try.

 

[Sarah G]

The fact that you want to be good, blessed and saved already says so much about you. Keep praying and being open to the Holy Spirit and gradually that little spark of light in you that makes you want goodness will grow. Keep the connection open and the darkness and negativity will eventually get edged out. All the mind polluting things we have been (and still are) exposed to will become less the more we walk with Christ. Sometimes my mind jumps to horrible things (even when I am praying) and I just tell Jesus ''I am so sorry, I don't know why I am like this. I don't want to be like this. Let me get better!'' Even if I am the most fallen of the fallen God still loves me and any little spark of His love is enough to purify all the things that are not of God (darkness, depression, sin, destruction, hate). Nurture that mustard seed because your life depends on it.

 

[longwait]

I have posted the part on how to pray 2 times before. Here it is again. I heard a message on how to pray. I found it to be very helpful. The Lord's prayer- Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy Name,
Count your blessings, make a list and start the prayer giving thanks to God. Thank Him that He has brought you out of occultism. See how loving He is to have come after you and brought you out of all that mess. He stoops down to make us great. Psalm 18:35. See how good He is!
thy kingdom come, (His kingdom is within us.)
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Ask God to show you His will for your life.
Give us this day our daily bread.
Daily bread refers to all our needs. You can now pray for what you need and want.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those
who trespass against us.
Pray for forgiveness for each of your sins and pray that God forgives those who sinned against you. If you have a hard time forgiving others. Ask God to give you the strength to forgive them all.
And lead us not into temptation,
Whatever temptations you are dealing with pray that God helps you to overcome them all and to keep you away from all that tempts you.
but deliver us from evil.
Pray that you will not fall into the traps and snares the enemy has laid for you.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever. Amen.
End the prayer with praise. This is the order that you should follow while praying the Lord's prayer. Make it a habit to pray this way.

 

[tdidymas]

My last post leads me to this. How to be more humble and obedient..
I came out of occult to Jesus with many many tears of repentance.
The problem is, I still have a rebellious attitude at times. My mind is not always loving towards God and Even though my husband does not identify as Christian, I struggle with obedience to him.
I struggle to hear Gods voice, to have godly wisdom, in discernment, and knowing how to live the best life in this difficult modern world... My mind and spirit is damaged from the occult and because of not listening to God in the past and because of reading too much rubbish on the internet (as in trying to keep up with what is going on in the anglican church as our child is at an anglican school and finding their theological synod debates harming my mind, or accidentally stumbling across images or words of others I didnt want to see- the internet has become such a dangerous place!). I try to listen to God now but I am damaged and my ability to hear from God his will for my life is dampened because of my previous rebellion. I have trouble trusting anyone as I have had spiritual, mental and physical abuse and a lot of trauma over life. So i find myself walking away from other people and Christians or hastily judging them because I am afraid of being harmed again. I feel I have developed a major mistrust which has almost developed into a critical spirit of everyone and a lack of appreciation of life.
I was never brought up Christian, and because of my life experiences, have had very little role modelling of how to pray, how to read the bible, how to talk to others about Jesus. And because I suffer crippling anxiety and depression because of all this, I am a daily failure at being a good role model and witness for the Christian life in my family. I lack wisdom on how to teach my son about Jesus, and lack energy to discipline him properly. I think I am a terrible wife and Mum but it also doesnt help having physical and mental health issues and a husband who is constantly putting you down because he just thinks your "lazy." (Chronic fatigue is not laziness, am only just starting to feel better after a year off work).

Welcome to the spiritual war (we all have to fight it). I recommend memorizing verses of scripture that help you. Let the Holy Spirit be your guide. Some scriptures that I memorized early in my Christian life that helped me greatly: Psalm 23, Psalm 91, Romans 8:1-2, John 14:1-3, Gal. 2:20.
TD

 

[longwait]

 

[Kit Sigmon]

My last post leads me to this. How to be more humble and obedient..
I came out of occult to Jesus with many many tears of repentance.

The problem is, I still have a rebellious attitude at times. My mind is not always loving towards God and Even though my husband does not identify as Christian, I struggle with obedience to him.
Our flesh and spirit man will clash...it'll be that way for as long as we are in these "tents of flesh"...Galatians 5:17 speaks on this.

I struggle to hear Gods voice, to have godly wisdom, in discernment, and knowing how to live the best life in this difficult modern world...

Many believers are in this struggle.

Stick with trusting God's Word and following it.
In the Bible, I find that Daniel and his friends are good examples in living in difficult times and or places. Daniel and his friends spent the greater portion of their lives in a pagan society but they purposed to honor God and even if it would cost them their very lives.

My mind and spirit is damaged from the occult and because of not listening to God in the past and because of reading too much rubbish on the internet (as in trying to keep up with what is going on in the anglican church as our child is at an anglican school and finding their theological synod debates harming my mind, or accidentally stumbling across images or words of others I didnt want to see- the internet has become such a dangerous place!). I try to listen to God now but I am damaged and my ability to hear from God his will for my life is dampened because of my previous rebellion.

Into the Bible...
Micah 6:8 "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

What does it mean to do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly (Micah 6:8)?


I have trouble trusting anyone as I have had spiritual, mental and physical abuse and a lot of trauma over life. So i find myself walking away from other people and Christians or hastily judging them because I am afraid of being harmed again. I feel I have developed a major mistrust which has almost developed into a critical spirit of everyone and a lack of appreciation of life.

Is the problem with trusting or is it more with forgiving those who wounded you?
It's not too late to forgive others and it's not too late to ask God to forgive you for being overly critical.
Does the Bible instruct us to forgive and forget?

When you have time, find out how Jesus dealt with people who hurt/wronged him.


I was never brought up Christian, and because of my life experiences, have had very little role modelling of how to pray, how to read the bible, how to talk to others about Jesus.

Being brought up christian didn't provide me with very many godly role models either...my father wasn't a believer and my mom struggled in the faith since she came from family that mixed occult with Christian practices...this was taught to me at an early age and so I had issues as well.
As I got older... in my teens I truly accepted what the Lord had to say about things...occult being sinful/abomination.
I shared that with my mom and she listened and we got rid of occult things
and practices that were common amongst our people.
It wasn't without struggle either but the Lord be gracious and helped us to
stand for righteousness and resist the bait of evil one.

And because I suffer crippling anxiety and depression because of all this, I am a daily failure at being a good role model and witness for the Christian life in my family.
You're not alone...we all fail daily to get it absolutely right.
What you may think be failure may not be that to someone else... they may look at
your example and see something authentic. A believer, though wounded can still be an inspiration to someone else...I found this out after struggling through a rather difficult situation in my life that lasted nearly two years. I was feeling like I'd not been a good witness for the Lord but after the difficult situation was over, then came those around who said I'd inspired them to keep going with the Lord and to be in church etc.
During that difficult period, I'd barely been able to put one foot in front of the other, there was so much pain and suffering going on in my life that I couldn't
see any good or godly that would be of help to anyone.

I lack wisdom on how to teach my son about Jesus, and lack energy to discipline him properly. I think I am a terrible wife and Mum but it also doesnt help having physical and mental health issues and a husband who is constantly putting you down because he just thinks your "lazy." (Chronic fatigue is not laziness, am only just starting to feel better after a year off work).

Prayer is talking to God...the "Lord's Prayer" is an outline on how to pray/and what to include in prayer.

Paul in the bible taught simple truths at first...giving them "milk" because the
hearers were "babes in the faith" and could only handle the basic elementary teachings...as they grew, he'd wean them off the "milk" of God's Word and introduce to them some "meat"... advanced teachings.

Teach the basics of the faith to your child.
Ask the Lord to help you teach your child about Him and His Word(Bible).
I suggest getting the ESV Seek and Find Bible it has plenty of helps for teaching children and even adults can learn many things from it too.
This is a "real" Bible, it's also child friendly -for ages 5-9.
You can find used ones available on amazon.com.

Prayers in the Bible:
http://www.lbdsoftware.com/All the Prayers of the Bible.pdf

 

[weallknowfrogsgoladida]

Thank you all for your advice, i will definitely take a look at that seek and find bible Kit Sigmon, that sounds good.