How to get married spiritually?

[Isaiahkiki]

Hi,

I want to know how to get married in the eyes of god. If its possible I don't want a ceremony included. Please I need straight forward answers

 

[.Mikha'el.]

MOD HAT ON!

Thread moved to Christian Advice.

MOD HAT OFF!

 

[sojourner4Christ]

Isaiahkiki, greetings in the King's name!

I want to know how to get married in the eyes of god. If its possible I don't want a ceremony included.

For the born again believer in Jesus Christ, the desire for a Godly marriage is preferable to one based on the traditions of men.

Please I need straight forward answers

I would be honored in sharing my experiences as a facilitator of such unions between born again believers. What questions(s) do you have?

 

[Isaiahkiki]

Isaiahkiki, greetings in the King's name!



For the born again believer in Jesus Christ, the desire for a Godly marriage is preferable to one based on the traditions of men.



I would be honored in sharing my experiences as a facilitator of such unions between born again believers. What questions(s) do you have?

Hi, thanks for responding

1) I want to know how I can get married through the eyes of god without going through legal process just me and my girlfriend if possible.

2) I know this isn't in the right place but since you're here you might know. I committed fornication and I'm pretty sure that that is a mortal sin, but am I doomed for hell?

Sorry if I read your answer wrong or I don't make sense I have a tough time processing things.

 

[sojourner4Christ]

Thanks for your reply.

We may have more than one issue at hand here. Let's take a look.

re: fornication -- Fornication is a sin. If you have fornicated, you meed to stop fornicating, and you need to repent to God for commiting that sin, and you need to apologize to the one you have fornicated with (regardless of whether she accepts your apology or not).

re: marriage -- Yes, it is entirely possible to marry without legal ("Caesarian") paperwork. But you need to ensure that you're not simply trying to "Christianize" cohabitation.

re: "just me and my girlfriend" -- The Biblical mandate requires two or more witnesses.

 

[Quasicentennial]

Spiritually married - is an interesting phrase in that once Jesus is accepted personally and becomes our spiritual partner for life then rest assured, you can never be "alone" in a sense that he lives spiritually in your flesh-born vessel, most commonly known as your 'heart' - the center focus of attention where your mind and body are under supernatural protection, especially where all of our five senses: sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell - come in contact with every known or unfamiliar material in the house, vehicle, workplace, public structure such as the shopping mall, meals and food ingredients, tapwater and fluid products such as Coca Cola softdrink:.
As a Christian, you will also experience the automatic respect of other Christians, if for example, you visit a church of your choice, and yet at the same time, you will also experience the negative side where your limited flesh-born mind struggles to remember everyone you meet, and as a result, you feel this tremendous embarrassment to know only a handful of individuals that will stay close to you in friendship.:
That's why Jesus isn't going to remain spiritually invisible for long, knowing that his Second Coming future victory return will end Satan's reign on Earth - and once Satan is out of lives with the power of sin, only then will we experience Christ's transformation:
- limitless memory power with our future-coming genius-intelligent minds of Christ,
besides our future-coming measure-perfect bodies, so that no matter how many brothers and sisters of Christ we socialize with, we will never struggle to remember everyone, considering Jesus knows everyone since Adam and Eve became the first and only adult human couple to come from dust without the growth stages of development from baby to child to teenager then adult stage:.
Bible study is part of a Christian life, and just as would struggle to ride a bike for the first time, enthusiasm and repetition are key factors that will make bible study as natural as riding a bike with total confidence, and with any church organization of your choice.;'*';.

 

[Odetta]

Quasi, how does that answer the question as to how Isaiahkiki can spiritually marry a human being?

Isaiahkiki, I notice that you are 16. Are you wanting to spiritually marry your girlfriend, because you're too young to get married legally? What are your parents saying about this?

I don't know what country you live in. If you live in the US, without legal proof that you are married, you should consider the fact that you will not be able to enjoy the legal benefits of marriage without jumping through a bunch of other government mandated legal hoops. Things such as inheritance in the event of her death (and vice versa), the ability to make medical decisions for her in the event she is incapacitated (and vice versa). Also I don't think you are of legal age yet to sign any documents such as wills, durable powers of attorney, medical directives, etc., that would give you those benefits, unless you are legally emancipated, but you'd need to consult with an estate attorney about that. Those are just a few things off the top of my head.

Also, marriage is a covenant commitment designed to last the rest of your natural life. Perhaps you are different, but I don't know of many 16 year olds who can grasp that concept, give it serious and thoughtful consideration, before making such commitment. I would strongly suggest you and your girlfriend seek pre-marital counseling before embarking on this adventure. By the way, I think pre-marital counseling is a good idea for any couple, regardless of age.

And if any of these concepts are new or confusing to you, then if I were you I'd seriously consider whether or not you are ready to make this kind of permanent commitment. Not saying that 16 year olds can't be ready, it's just very rare for one to have that level of maturity.

 

[turkle]

Hi, thanks for responding

1) I want to know how I can get married through the eyes of god without going through legal process just me and my girlfriend if possible.

2) I know this isn't in the right place but since you're here you might know. I committed fornication and I'm pretty sure that that is a mortal sin, but am I doomed for hell?

Sorry if I read your answer wrong or I don't make sense I have a tough time processing things.

It sounds like you had sex with your girlfriend, and now you are worried about your salvation because of it. You are trying to assuage your guilt by marrying your girlfriend "spiritually", so that your parents won't find out. The thought process is probably that you will also be able to continue to have sex without guilt if you are married "spiritually". Is that correct?

The first thing to remember is that if you live in the US, you are a minor, and under the protection of your parents. God is very clear that we are to honor parents, so attempting to "marry" behind their back is not God's will. To do so would be to lie to them, which God has a lot to say about also.

Secondly, God is clear that we are to honor and abide by the laws of the government we are under. That means that unless you are married legally, you are not married "spiritually".

You are only 16, and most likely not anywhere near ready to make a lifelong commitment. You probably have no income to support yourselves, and rely on your parents. You are a child, and you need time to grow and mature before making such a choice. Especially since the choice is based upon fear.


God calls you to repentance. That means that you stop having sex with your girlfriend and ask for forgiveness. I am sure you are not near ready to become a father (no birth control method is 100%), so you need to just stop. God forgives when you repent, which simply means to change direction. Enjoy being a kid, because that is what you are. Don't continue to make choices that could have far reaching consequences that you are not equipped to take on. I wish you well.

 

[Quasicentennial]

Spiritually married with a human being, such as your girlfriend of a similar age, is when Jesus is with both of you and is in total control of your sexuality once you reach puberty in your early teenage years, and as Jesus has the positive fruits of love, patience, joy and peace - patience is definitely a waiting period where both of you will have to trust Jesus as much as you can by replacing sexual thoughts with non-sexual thoughts or actions, such as smiling, uploading photos like selfies, writing down your likes, dislikes, future plans on Facebook, as writing is a permanent record of your conversational thoughts and beware of sudden changes that could upset your being committed to each other, such as employment or moving out in another distant town or city, that would separate you two geographically.;'*';.

 

[Albion]

Hi,

I want to know how to get married in the eyes of god. If its possible I don't want a ceremony included. Please I need straight forward answers

In short, you CANNOT get married in the eyes of God without a ceremony.

Even if you did without a minister, the magistrate would be following a certain ritual; and it wouldn't be a legal marriage without that. However, you can have a nearly private and Christian marriage ceremony that is very much simplified and short. And of course you need not have it done in a church or with any particular kind of decorations or attire.

No, you're not doomed because of fornication, but I urge you not to compound the problem by making some rash decision now.

 

[iambren]

PUBLIC COVENANT BEFORE COVENANT PEOPLE.

 

[bluegreysky]

Well, the bible says "follow the laws of the land" so to be legally married you have to have someone officiate the vows and that can be done at a courthouse.
You're only 16 though? You might have to become an emancipated adult first.

 

[parsley]

All sins are mortal -- all separate us from God. God made provision for our forgiveness, so His intent is not to hold blame of guilt on us forever. Ask His forgiveness, plan to change your ways (repent), and move on in His love.

Imagine what your lives would look like if you half-married her. Both of you would not feel free to make other choices, but also might not have the support of family in your relationship.

If you declared yourselves "spiritually married" -- which is not a term in scriptures -- then you are giving yourselves free license to keep doing what you believe is a sin right now. Without the legal responsibilities. That seems a bigger sin, to invent God's approval so you can continue doing something you feel guilt over.

There are times in the Bible, especially before Moses, when marriages seemed less formal; but people took responsibility for each other, shared farm work, made a living and kept a roof over their heads.

These days, "commonlaw spouse" is legally declared after living together a certain number of years. Paying the bills, keeping up a house, and sometimes raising children together. Compare that to your situation, where you are in love and want to make sure God doesn't condemn you.

Approach Him with true repentance, and ask for His forgiveness. Then ask Him for wisdom in how to walk through life. Ask Him to show you what real love for your girlfriend looks like. Draw closer to God, and He will draw closer to you.

 

[sojourner4Christ]

It sounds like you had sex with your girlfriend, and now you are worried about your salvation because of it. You are trying to assuage your guilt by marrying your girlfriend "spiritually", so that your parents won't find out. The thought process is probably that you will also be able to continue to have sex without guilt if you are married "spiritually". Is that correct?

... You are only 16, and most likely not anywhere near ready to make a lifelong commitment. You probably have no income to support yourselves, and rely on your parents. You are a child, and you need time to grow and mature before making such a choice. Especially since the choice is based upon fear.

... I am sure you are not near ready to become a father.

...Enjoy being a kid, because that is what you are. Don't continue to make choices that could have far reaching consequences that you are not equipped to take on.

Let’s allow him to explain his situation to us before we assume.

For the sake of many lurkers who read these posts, I will address some of the misconceptions and traditions of men being put forth here.

The first thing to remember is that if you live in the US, you are a minor, and under the protection of your parents.

Well, which is it? Is he labeled a “minor,” as determined by Caesar to whom he has submitted, and is thus under the authority of the godless State? Or, is he a free flesh and blood man in Christ, in submission to his earthly father, who is a born again follower of Jesus Christ? No man can serve two masters.

I think we can begin to see a contradiction...

God is very clear that we are to honor parents, so attempting to "marry" behind their back is not God's will.

That’s a non sequitur here, because “honor” is not equivalent to obey.

To do so would be to lie to them, which God has a lot to say about also.

But yes, dishonesty is a no-no.

Secondly, God is clear that we are to honor and abide by the laws of the government we are under.

Rather, God says to render to Caesar what is Caesar’s. So the question is, to what authority do you look, for the permission to do the things you would do? God? or the godless State? Because it is to the authority that you have voluntarily submitted, that you will indeed render.

That means that unless you are married legally, you are not married "spiritually".

This is the traditional synthesis of mixing what is holy with what is profane -- the double-minded unstable result of trying to serve two masters

God calls you to repentance. That means that you stop having sex with your girlfriend and ask for forgiveness.

... God forgives when you repent, which simply means to change direction.

Amen.

...(no birth control method is 100%), so you need to just stop.

Again, precisely why does he “need to just stop”? for fear of pregnancy??? No, but simply because fornication is a sin. BTW, partaking of “birth control” is also a sin.

In short, you CANNOT get married in the eyes of God without a ceremony.

This is a falsehood. Also notice that there is no definition given of “ceremony.”

Even if you did without a minister...

To what “minister” do you refer? ...to a man credentialed by the godless State?

...the magistrate would be following a certain ritual...

Ahhh, now we’re getting a bit closer to the source of the problem. And what “certain ritual” would that be? i.e. by whose authority? by the “power vested in” the godless State?

...and it wouldn't be a legal marriage without that.

Why would we want “legal”??? BTW, “legal” and Lawful are not the same.

Well, the bible says "follow the laws of the land" so to be legally married you have to have someone officiate the vows and that can be done at a courthouse.

When scripture speaks of obeying and submitting ourselves to those who have the rule over us, God’s word is not talking about heathen governments, but those "rulers" within Jesus Christ's assembly. Notice carefully this verse says these rulers "watch for your souls." Governments of men cannot govern or watch for anyone's souls, for they can only govern outward acts, not the inward being. But true spiritual leaders do watch for our souls

Those who "have the rule over you" at Hebrews 13:17 is specifically defined a few verses earlier in Hebrews 13:7, "Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation."

As we can see, scripture itself defines these "rulers" as those who speak the word of God and have faith. Secular governments avoid, and often forbid, speaking the word of God within their system through outlawing prayer in their schools and replacing it with such unrighteousness as "the theory of evolution," and by taking down the "Ten Commandments" from their courtrooms. These are not the rulers we are to submit to.

In Romans 13, does verse 1 say, "let every soul be subject unto all governments"? Or does it say, "let every soul (including governing authorities such as kings, judges, police, etc.) be subject unto the Higher Power"? Who do souls belong to? God says:

Ezekiel 18:4, "Behold, all souls are mine."

And the second part of verse 1 tells us Who the Higher Power is: "...For there is no power but of God."

The souls of the governmental powers belong to God, and they are not the higher powers, the higher powers are held by Christ himself (Matthew 28:18). Is our Lord not the higher power, then, if all power has been committed unto him (John 17:2)? Christ is the governor among the nations (Psalms 22:28). All power over earthly kings has been given unto Him (Romans 14:9). All judgment has been given unto Him (John 5:22,27). Notice the separation of Power in Romans 13:1. All power comes from, and belongs to, God (Psalm 62:11) and not the one exercising it. And remember that most men, especially those constituting the "governing authorities," usually deny that power given to Jesus (2 Timothy 3:5).

However, you can have a nearly private and Christian marriage ceremony that is very much simplified and short.

Again, the devil would be in the details, which have not been provided to us here.

It’s an issue of authority.

To those who know that something is wrong, but aren’t quite sure of what it is, do not quench the spirit. Let everything be determined, line upon line, precept upon precept, one question/issue at a time, all in order.

 

[Messy]

This is a falsehood. Also notice that there is no definition given of “ceremony.”

In the Old Testament they had a ketubah, a document and it was celebrated with other people. Maleachi speaks of a legal wife. Jesus attended a wedding.
I did it, we both spoke our vows with noone else around and I believed we were married in the eyes of God. Turned out a year later I was just living in fornication and I fell from my faith because of it and then repented and came back to God.
Fornication is not the unforgiveable sin, just ask God forgiveness and stop doing it or getting in a situation where you can get tempted. Just meet in open places with other people around.
I regret rushing into a marriage which I did later.
16 is very young, better get to know each other very well for two years and then you can marry legally.

 

[sojourner4Christ]

In the Old Testament they had a ketubah, a document and it was celebrated with other people....we both spoke our vows with noone else around and I believed we were married in the eyes of God.

It's not about ceremony or ritual or pageantry. It's about witnesses:

...in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. -- Deu chap 19; Mat chap 18.

 

[Isaiahkiki]

Yep I did a bunch of research and I know its impossible until were both 18. Our relationship isn't an average highschool relationship weve been dating for 2 years and love each other very deeply and have talked about the idea of marriage. We are just going to wait the 2 years and get married then.

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. I've never met a group of people who don't even know me and spend the amount of time it must have taken to write out these responses. All of you are really truly amazing people.
God bless you all

 

[parsley]

Aw, that's so sweet of you.
Congratulations on keeping a long-lasting and caring relationship in high school. You are setting a good example for others to aspire to.

If you hope to get married at 18, give yourselves a year to plan. Weddings -- even simple ones -- take a lot of time and arrangements. That will make the wait seem shorter too, if you are engaged for a while. If planned too quickly, everyone has short fuses and people begin to resent each other. Give yourselves the freedom to talk about real plans.

If you look at marriage seriously together now, you can talk about finances, living locations, and other things without being coy. Let each other know what you really want out of life, not just what you hope the other person will accept you for. Try to navigate how to help each other accomplish goals, and build up negotiation skills.

Figure out layered timing of who can do what, when (School, kids, etc.) .. to lay down a fair and balanced groundwork-- even though things will change unexpectedly.

If you plan to get married to each other, start talking bluntly now.

 

[parsley]

You might want to go through some lists together and talk about them:

Premarital Counseling: Helping Couples Take the Wheel and Keep it Between the Lines

Premarital Counseling - Relationship Advice -Couples and Conflict

(Hm, I'm looking for a checklist but not finding very complete ones)

 

[Hospes]

Seems almost a form of spiritual malpractice to entertain as legitimate a 16-year old getting "spiritually" married. Is Isaiahkiki ready to protect and provide for his "spiritually-wed" wife? Does he have any concept of the level of sacrifice that Jesus calls for a husband to make? The keeping of a marriage covenant is hard enough for adults.

Much of this thread just seems so unhinged from real life.