I was raped a little over a year ago, and am still trying to process through it and deal. How have others coped? Counseling is too expensive, I cant afford it. Any tips would be appreciative. Thanks!
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How to deal
- Thread starter sinnergalore
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Carolyn H
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Dear SG,
I am so sorry honey!!! Is there someone you can talk to like your pastor or his wife? I found that talking helps. I also needed to say what I was feeling. It is OK to say..."I am angry.....I am hurt....I am afraid...." All those feelings are so normal!!! I was angry at God for "allowing" this to happen to me. God has very broad shoulders and he can deal with what we feel.
I think His heart breaks for us! He loves us and He cares so much...but it took me a long time to figure that one out.
I am praying for you SG!!!!!
I am so sorry honey!!! Is there someone you can talk to like your pastor or his wife? I found that talking helps. I also needed to say what I was feeling. It is OK to say..."I am angry.....I am hurt....I am afraid...." All those feelings are so normal!!! I was angry at God for "allowing" this to happen to me. God has very broad shoulders and he can deal with what we feel.
I think His heart breaks for us! He loves us and He cares so much...but it took me a long time to figure that one out.
I am praying for you SG!!!!!
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JesusFreak2008
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SG,
Being raped is a traumatic thing, and you need to talk to someone. I must emphasize the need word because if you hold it down in your soul then you will forever be bothered. Give it away to God if there is no one else, he will always help you. I'll be lifting you up in my prayers.
Being raped is a traumatic thing, and you need to talk to someone. I must emphasize the need word because if you hold it down in your soul then you will forever be bothered. Give it away to God if there is no one else, he will always help you. I'll be lifting you up in my prayers.
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bubblefish
used to be cat_goes_meow
I really suggest finding someone you can talk to if possible - whether that is a friend, family member, partner or pastor. Just having someone to support you through this can be a huge help.
I have not had official counselling to help me through but have had a lot of other support and am working through it now. The main one is my partner. They are always here for me and doing all she can to understand and support me.
I also suggest the use of support sites if you don't mind typing to strangers. I have a few good ones I know of other than CF if you would like them as well
While CF is good and please do keep posting!!, these are a lot more private and have a lot of resources so might be helpful.
I have not had official counselling to help me through but have had a lot of other support and am working through it now. The main one is my partner. They are always here for me and doing all she can to understand and support me.
I also suggest the use of support sites if you don't mind typing to strangers. I have a few good ones I know of other than CF if you would like them as well
While CF is good and please do keep posting!!, these are a lot more private and have a lot of resources so might be helpful.
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C
Cassandra
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sinnergalore:
I understand what you are going through. I was raped and sodomized and onlyl told two people IRL. My abusive ex and my best friend. I know how hard it can be to talk about. I still can't be entirely open about it. IRL, I mean. On a message board it is different because people really don't know me.
If you can, find someone to talk to as others have suggested. You may also want to look up free rape counseling in your area. They are usually through the state/county you are in. Some to have to fill out a bunch of forms for and some you can just walk in on.
Here is my personal advice:
Don't let it destroy you. You are a woman - strong and beautiful and worthy. You are here and you are ALIVE. Find all the reasons you can to smile. Be open to love and be willing to trust. Never admit defeat.
I understand what you are going through. I was raped and sodomized and onlyl told two people IRL. My abusive ex and my best friend. I know how hard it can be to talk about. I still can't be entirely open about it. IRL, I mean. On a message board it is different because people really don't know me.
If you can, find someone to talk to as others have suggested. You may also want to look up free rape counseling in your area. They are usually through the state/county you are in. Some to have to fill out a bunch of forms for and some you can just walk in on.
Here is my personal advice:
Don't let it destroy you. You are a woman - strong and beautiful and worthy. You are here and you are ALIVE. Find all the reasons you can to smile. Be open to love and be willing to trust. Never admit defeat.
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Oh sweetie, I am sorry you had to go through that 
I can only agree with the others here.... it took me almost 30 years to start to deal with it.. and that caused all kinds of problems. Don't let someone else's evil ruin your life, sweetie. You are not to blame in any way, and you are allowed to be angry and confused!
But it is really important to talk to someone... not just online but in real life. Do you have any support, family or church?
Pm me if you need to talk , sis, anytime.
Praying for you
God bless you
I can only agree with the others here.... it took me almost 30 years to start to deal with it.. and that caused all kinds of problems. Don't let someone else's evil ruin your life, sweetie. You are not to blame in any way, and you are allowed to be angry and confused!
But it is really important to talk to someone... not just online but in real life. Do you have any support, family or church?
Pm me if you need to talk , sis, anytime.
Praying for you
God bless you
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Thanks for all the replies... I'm working on finding someone to talk to. I'd rather find someone who doesnt really know me. I feel like if I talk to someone who does know me, I'll get that look everytime I see them. I don't want to see that look. I've been just avoiding dealing with it, avoiding talking and pretending like it never happened. Completely unhealthy, I know.
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Ariel
Servant
SG, there are good professional counselors who would never think ill of you for what you've been through. They have heard many others tell them the same kinds of things. They are there to help, they know you hurt.
Try to find someone with a professional degree. Remember that they must maintain confidentiality.
Try to find someone with a professional degree. Remember that they must maintain confidentiality.
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fivepointTULIP
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I just wanted to suggest calling your local rape crisis hotline. They can talk to you about the things you're feeling and struggling with, and be anonymous if you want or get information to call back and check on you if you want. The other thing is, often rape crisis centers have professional counselors that you can talk to. The one I went to offered three months of weekly counseling free of charge, with referrals after that. You might want to look into it, it can be really helpful.
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Oh hun I am so very sorry you have had to deal with this atrocity. If you EVER want to chat, my ears are always open, just send me a PM.
I agree with what the others have said here: try to find someone to talk to. Your pastor and his wife would probably be beneficial, but even a trusted friend, maybe from church, maybe just a trusted friend, would probably help as well.
The first step to dealing with it is talking about it, and I do realize how hard that is. Again, I am here should you EVER wish to talk about it, and I will let you know, I've been through the same thing, and you are NOT alone.
I am so very sorry you have had to deal with this atrocity. If you EVER want to chat, my ears are always open, just send me a PM. I agree with what the others have said here: try to find someone to talk to. Your pastor and his wife would probably be beneficial, but even a trusted friend, maybe from church, maybe just a trusted friend, would probably help as well.
The first step to dealing with it is talking about it, and I do realize how hard that is. Again, I am here should you EVER wish to talk about it, and I will let you know, I've been through the same thing, and you are NOT alone.
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I tried to PM a couple of you, but the site wouldn't let me. Adding onto my already awful night. For the past few days I've been having nightmares about the rape. I called the crisis hotline, but felt like a fool. I've been anti-social for days, wanting to sleep but can't and when I do, I have nightmares. I'm angry, I want to talk but I don't want to talk, I feel like I'm crazy... Sorry, I just wanted to vent a lil.
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Ariel
Servant
I"m not sure how many posts you need to PM one of us. I'm going to have to check into that.
But I'll tell you how to get enough posts fast. Go over to the game room and play games for a while. Most of those posts only require a word or two. Then come back here--you should have enough posts by then to contact any of us.
Here's the url for forum word games.
http://christianforums.com/forumdisplay.php?f=704
But I'll tell you how to get enough posts fast. Go over to the game room and play games for a while. Most of those posts only require a word or two. Then come back here--you should have enough posts by then to contact any of us.
Here's the url for forum word games.
http://christianforums.com/forumdisplay.php?f=704
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fivepointTULIP
Drawn by Irresistible Grace
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Hey, I'm here. I'll PM you, mine seems to work although I'm new as well. I'll give you my phone number, you can call it at any time.
And don't feel bad, the first 10-14 times I called the crisis line, I either chickened out and hung up before anyone answered, right after they answered before I ever said anything, or if I managed to start talking I stumbled and bumbled and choked on my words.
I HATE HATE HATE the nightmares. I hate reliving the sounds, the feelings, the smells, the still-shot pictures that are stuck in my mind. Just when I think they are getting better, something happens to bring it all back.
BTDT- I do understand.
And don't feel bad, the first 10-14 times I called the crisis line, I either chickened out and hung up before anyone answered, right after they answered before I ever said anything, or if I managed to start talking I stumbled and bumbled and choked on my words.
I HATE HATE HATE the nightmares. I hate reliving the sounds, the feelings, the smells, the still-shot pictures that are stuck in my mind. Just when I think they are getting better, something happens to bring it all back.
BTDT- I do understand.
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I'm not sure what the PM post limit is, but you can PM staff anyway, so please feel free to contact me if you need to talk
Praying for you... I know what the nightmares are like, sweetie.
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bubblefish
used to be cat_goes_meow
Sending 's. I think the limit is 5 from memory.. if not it is definitely 10 so you should be able to send PMs definitely after making one more post.
I am always around too if you want to talk PM me any time.
's. I think the limit is 5 from memory.. if not it is definitely 10 so you should be able to send PMs definitely after making one more post.I am always around too if you want to talk
PM me any time.
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