How to deal with pride

[YCGP]

I looked at about 12 signs of pride and I felt that each and every one applied to me. This scares me.

How do I deal with my pride? Is it simply prideful to think that I can deal with it on my own, aside from prayer?

Can anyone share their experiences?

 

[~Anastasia~]

Pride is something that I daresay is found in each of us. It has varying kinds of expression and symptoms, which we may not have them all. But the root of pride is often the one that people will battle to the very last. I doubt there are very many (if any) that manage to completely overcome it ... actually I should end my sentence there, because that is true. But I was going to say that even among those few who might totally free themselves from it, it probably was for each of them the last thing they overcame.

I once thought pride could never be my problem, because I grew up very shy and with "self esteem" issues. But when I learned what pride actually IS ... I found it's a root sin for all of us.

Don't be alarmed, no.

But be thankful you have seen this.

This is something you need a priest for though.

The Church does offer tools, but they are tailored to the individual in their application. We should never go it on our own, as if we are our own doctors. That is actually the path that leads to the most dangerous kind of pride of all, and one that might be resistant to being healed. Ever. Please understand that this can be very dangerous.

With that said, fasting is one of the first tools, and very effective. Again, the application needs to be with the guidance of a priest, because done wrongly, it can feed pride. You won't be able to have sacramental Confession/absolution without becoming Orthodox first, but you can still sit down with him and discuss this.

There are many other tools. Again, most if then require oversight. You must eventually learn to monitor all of your thoughts, and deal with pride in that arena. That can be exhausting and difficult, but it is one where we can progress.

I will tell you just one little thing, that my SF directed me to, that should be safe. He had me choose a Saint (in my case female) and learn about her. The most outstanding, amazing example I could find. I chose St. Irene Chrysovalentou (The Miraculous Icon of Saint Irene Chrysovalantou in Lykovrisi, Attica | MYSTAGOGY RESOURCE CENTER) because of many miracles associated with her in life. My SF told me anytime I had a prideful thought, to immediately think of St. Irene and compare myself to her. That was ... highly effective.

The enemy tempts us to pride in many ways, excites so many of our random thoughts and tendencies. It is the sin we are perhaps most prone to, and the sin of Satan as well. Don't be dismayed. But seek help, and understand that it is a life's work to overcome it.

And God expects us to fight sin and cooperate with His grace, btw. We cannot perfect ourselves, and many are not perfected in life. Our part is to cooperate with him, and not feed the passions. The outcome and the real work is in His hands, according to His grace. No, we absolutely cannot do this ourselves.

 

[Halbhh]

I looked at about 12 signs of pride and I felt that each and every one applied to me. This scares me.

How do I deal with my pride? Is it simply prideful to think that I can deal with it on my own, aside from prayer?

Can anyone share their experiences?

One common source of pride for many is in an earlier time of life, like childhood, we react to feeling disrespected by becoming prideful -- determined that we are better than those that made themselves as if better than us.

After that initial response, it can and often does increase.

One thing I did, among other things, is think on how all people are much the same. They have their own qualities. Often people can have a good and subtle quality we don't get right at first.

Most helpful though is to realize your own sins, and that's humbling. And I feel so much gratitude for His merciful grace.

We are saved from ourselves by Him.

Rescued from our wrongness.

 

[SilvaMay]

In my experience, there are some ideas that might help.

The thing is that we are absolutely dependent on God. Without Him we are nothing. The fact that you woke up this morning is His blessing. Focus on all the good things you had and have in your life and realize that they were given to you by God every single day. Everything you have can be gone tomorrow or even in a hour. The fact that you are living, you can see, walk, talk, have friends etc. is a blessing. Engage this fact to your spiritual life and prayer. Realize that we do not deserve God's love and care, for as we sin we could never deserve it by ourselves. Think about our nothingness. How bad we are, how selfish, rude, proud and blind we are to people and even to God. We were and are sinners, our will leans towards evil. It is by God's love and mercy that we can fight our sins and have a relationship with Him for He is good and loves us beyond our understanding.

Hopefully this gave you some helpful points. Have a blessed day.

 

[ArmyMatt]

pray for humility, then duck.

 

[Almost there]

I looked at about 12 signs of pride and I felt that each and every one applied to me. This scares me.

How do I deal with my pride? Is it simply prideful to think that I can deal with it on my own, aside from prayer?

Can anyone share their experiences?

The best way to curb your pride is to know that I am better than you.

 

[~Anastasia~]

pray for humility, then duck.

Oh Lord have mercy!

That one works. But I was afraid to suggest it. Talk about getting to the heart of it, Father!

 

[~Anastasia~]

The best way to curb your pride is to know that I am better than you.

Haha!

Would you like some help dealing with that?

 

[Almost there]

Haha!

Would you like some help dealing with that?

Are you better than me?

I actually do have a pride challenge myself. I'm not college educated but when people I deal with in the "real" (not-internet) world find out, they are surprised. It's because I'm naturally curious about pretty much everything and read a lot. But now that I've moved to central KY, I'm having a hard time finding anyone with whom to really have any "equal" relationship. Either people are just not that well educated, neither formally nor informally, or all they seem to care about is sports, which interests me not one bit (I see sports as something you do, not watch). So I have a hard time finding "equal" friends.

Fortunately, it's not an issue because my wife is my best friend and I need no others - and we live in total privacy on many acres, which is how we like it. But I do find myself entertaining thoughts of, for lack of a better word, "superiority". This should not be and I have to constantly fight it.

 

[~Anastasia~]

Are you better than me?

I actually do have a pride challenge myself. I'm not college educated but when people I deal with in the "real" (not-internet) world find out, they are surprised. It's because I'm naturally curious about pretty much everything and read a lot. But now that I've moved to central KY, I'm having a hard time finding anyone with whom to really have any "equal" relationship. Either people are just not that well educated, neither formally nor informally, or all they seem to care about is sports, which interests me not one bit (I see sports as something you do, not watch). So I have a hard time finding "equal" friends.

Fortunately, it's not an issue because my wife is my best friend and I need no others - and we live in total privacy on many acres, which is how we like it. But I do find myself entertaining thoughts of, for lack of a better word, "superiority". This should not be and I have to constantly fight it.

Better than you? Oh Lord no! We should never think of ourselves as better than anyone, on any count.

By the way, I should have clarified with YGCP, but I was going on an Orthodox perspective, since the post is here and I know he is interested.

When we are talking about pride ... it is manifest in a multitude of ways. Including being upset or irritated that someone cuts you off in traffic, noticing that the woman next to you in Church wore an inappropriately short dress or too much makeup, or feeling pleased with yourself and wanting recognition for a good deed done.

It truly is a lifelong struggle.

Realizing that you have a particular talent given you by God, and not getting bound up in it, can be appropriate, in fact. To try to deny what God has done with and for us for the sake of not appearing prideful (even if only to ourselves) can in fact be a false humility, which is another form of pride. I'm NOT saying that to comment and say what you should be thinking about yourself or especially not to charge you with pride - I can't possibly know your heart. But just as a point of discussion of how we view pride, and partly why it is a matter of lifelong purification.

God be with you.

 

[Halbhh]

Here's more clear way to think of that human notion of people being 'better' or 'less than', to help us correct that wrong, Phil 2:3, and it helps for me to see multiple translations for this one:

New International Version
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,

English Standard Version
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

Berean Study Bible
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves.

Berean Literal Bible
nothing according to self-interest or according to vain conceit, but in humility be esteeming one another surpassing themselves,

New American Standard Bible
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;

King James Bible
Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.


And, the context verses help in this:

1 Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming
obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

 

[Little Lantern]

For me, gratefulness and humility seem to go together. If I start thanking God for things, especially the small things that are easy to take for granted, I begin to realize how little I can do on my own and how dependent I am on God for everything. The more I thank God, the more and more I see to thank Him for. The cycle of blessing and gratefulness is almost overwhelming because I realize the only thing I truly deserve is to be banished from His Presence forever! It is His awesome grace that even allowed someone like me to be offered salvation. What joy! Thanks be to God!
Better stop before I start preaching...

 

[YCGP]

Thank you very much for all the wonderful responses.

I will pray for humility. I will speak with Fr. George and begin to take care of my thoughts. I will resist the urge to do what I only want out of pride.

Merry Christmas +++

 

[~Anastasia~]

Thank you very much for all the wonderful responses.

I will pray for humility. I will speak with Fr. George and begin to take care of my thoughts. I will resist the urge to do what I only want out of pride.

Merry Christmas +++

Prayers for you!