Hey guys thanks for responding!! Ok, so im still not entirely sure where i stand, but im thinking about what you all said. i still STILL want to discuss the love and marriage thing (go together like a horse and carriage hhahahahaha)
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So you basically say, that when you feel real love, then it should be right.
Honestly, I have problems with this.
1) How do you know this is real love?
2) How many times in your life can you feel this "real love"?
So first of all, we often confuse passion and lust with real love. You know how it is, "in love" and "out of love", "love sick" etc... True love is not when you have all these overwhelming feelings. This we call infatuation. And believe me, we can experience this very often in life, and each time we think we are in love and it's forever. No, it's not forever, only God's love is forever.
Secondly, if you are trully in love, then you want to spend life with the person who you love. And if you are serious about it, then why don't you marry the person and wait with sex until marriage. Because it would not make much difference if you don't have sex with him until you exchange vows. Because real love is patient.
Also, once you feel this real love and have sex, you don't have assurance you will actually spend your life with your partner, and it can repeat on and one, and this unity you are talking about, and your secrets, will not be unity and won't be kept secret any more. And just look around and see how many people there are hurt by their past relationships, who don't even want no more relationships, who become disappointed with love and sex
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for real love... how do i know? well i mean up until this person i have never experienced real love, ive had boyfriends which i liked very much so and loved as people. but once you are hit with love, i think you know. maybe im wrong but that seems to have been my experience. and for how many times you can feel this love? well i think people can love more than one person in their lives... like for instance the one you love dies... perhaps larter down the line in life you find someone else you are compatible with and will love.
when you said the bit about infatuation i got a little confused. i can understand what youre saying about mixing up love and lust, but i think that if you love the person you know that its not for lust, and if you lust for the person then you know its not for love. i feel like if i know the difference, then everyone else does... and that could be very wrong... its hard for me to speak of how other people might feel... so im trying to stick with my own experiences.
i mean, love isnt about sex. its not about desiring that bedroom everytime you see him. its hard to say exactly what love is, its everything. sex is just a piece of it, something the two of you share.... its like saying that eating lunch together is something the two of you share... its a piece of love. its not that sex is something that needs to happen, its just something that does if the two so wish.
haha im sorry if i get repetitive... im really just trying to make sense of what im saying so you guys will understand and not be like "she makes no sense!!"
hmm ok...
-Quote-Secondly, if you are trully in love, then you want to spend life with the person who you love. And if you are serious about it, then why don't you marry the person and wait with sex until marriage. Because it would not make much difference if you don't have sex with him until you exchange vows. Because real love is patient.-Quote-
What im trying to do is compare sex to every element to love. because put together it becomes the whole. If youre saying wait till marriage to have sex, then it could be interesting to think: what if we waited till we;re married to have lunch together.
i know that seems extreme. hmm. youre right about saying it wouldnt make much difference to wait to have sex until you echange vows, but if the two are ready i just dont see the reason not to. they know they love eachother.
the people who get dissapointed with love and sex are bringing it apon themselves, as crude as that may sound. (im trying not to be mean... i dont mean any offense to anyone!!!) I feel like those who have had bad experiences (everyone in the world) just need to look at it as part of life. as part of how the world works. and if they keep their chin up, theyll eventually find "the one".
As for secrets. it is still the secret you share with that other person. no two experperiences are shared with another person so the "secret" you shared with A will be different when shared with B. So you may love these people at different stages of your life an d you may share a specifc thing like sex with these people at different stages of your life but they will be different.
all right this is getting too long and i realized i havent meantioned much about God in all of this. I guess what i really want to know is why is all of this considered wrong in His eyes. you guys have been tring to tell me... i know... but i just cant seem to agree. im trying! but i still jsut dont know!
if i seem hostile in anything i said im really not trying to be ahhh hahaha im so confused!! well if anyone has anything to respond id appreciate it