How to be a "mom" - - Questions!!

[Memory's Flame]

I've decided I want to be a stay at home mom. The only problem?? I didn't really have a mom. I did, but she was submerged in her job and rarely home.

I never learned to cook or clean. I have enough problems taking care of myself, cleaning and cooking!!

Does anyone have any tips for me?? Any Advice?!?

 

[Tami]

I was never really taught how to cook either. I don't know how to explain it, I just kinda did it. I started out cooking stuff out of boxes like Hamburger Helper-type stuff. Then I ventured out and decided that if I can follow the directions on a box, I can probably follow the directions in a cook-book. So, I got a cook-book and found a recipe I thought sounded good and just followed the directions. I just kept it to simple stuff at first. I also learned some stuff by paying attention to what my husband's mother was doing when my husband and I were dating.

As far as cleaning, that's kinda different for everybody. If you live in a small house but have alot of stuff, you might want to get rid of stuff that you haven't used in a long time. For instance, if you have a ton of clothes but you don't wear half of them, you should probably donate some of them to the Goodwill or Salvation Army. Some people have a rule that if you haven't used it in a year, you get rid of it. That helps get rid of clutter.

I like to make my own cleaners. You can search the web for that kind of stuff and find something you like. It's way cheaper than buying the commercial stuff. Here's a site that you may find helpful or you could just type in "homemade cleaners" and find something you might like better.

http://organizedhome.com/clean/cleansol.html

You may want to check out the entire site. It has more stuff than just some homemade cleaner recipes that might help you get some ideas to organize your house the way you want it. Some people are also really into http://www.flylady.com/ . Hope this helps.


Tami

 

[E-beth]

Flylady ROCKS!!!

The biggest cleaning advice I have is to do a little every day. Then I have a schedule for bigger jobs...like, Monday is trash day, Tuesday and Saturday are for laundry, etc.

There is no such thing as a perfect mom. When I had my baby only 9 months ago, I learned that you learn as you go.

Kudos on being a stay at home mama, though. I hope to join you one day in that blessed field. Even working part time is hard....

 

[Beckijhn]

I like flylady and organized home too! One place I've loved is Laines Letters. She is a Titus 2 woman who shares (through her letters) things she's learned about cooking and homemaking. The first meal she made her husband made him throw up! I think it's just lainesletters.com She emails every month or so but she has a lot of recipes and all her old letters posted on her site. She uses flylady too.

It really takes time and discipline if you weren't trained as a young lady (I wasn't either), but once you get started in learning and setting up schedules, it gets so much easier!!!

Congratulations on your decision! It's the most awesome job there is!

 

[karla]

I am a stay at home mom and it is great! Remember to also take some time for just yourself - that it very important. You will learn as you go. When I had my daughter I was able to get cleaning done during her naps and prepare dinner - some times out of a box, sometimes by following a recipie. Now that I have a 2 yr. old daughter and a 6 month old son - there is no such thing as free time during the day. My 2 yr. old is starting the no nap thing, but is is well behaved. I do as much as I can when I can, but remember that your children won't remember how clean the house was or what gourmet meals you prepared. They will remember that you were there with them, read to them, played with them, prayed with them, etc. I suggest investing in a crock pot - they work miracles and you don't have to spend all day slaving over the stove. I wish you much luck and happiness in becoming a stay at home mom - it will be the hardest work that you have ever had to do, but it is definitly the most fulfilling!

 

[Didymus]

you know more about being a mom then you think.watch women who have raised good kids and ask them for advice.

 

[Evening Mist]

Remember that you are staying home to care for your kids, not to be a housekeeper! I do think it is important for kids to have healthy meals, live in a clean environment, and have some level of structure in their routine. However, it is very easy to slip into the idea that you are "housewife" and that your first priority is keeping house. I know it is all too easy for me, anyway. I suspect that if you love your kids, and work hard at relating well to them, and providing stimulating learning experiences for them -- then you will be a great success as a stay-at-home-mom even if you never learn to cook and clean!

 

[Memory's Flame]

Loving the kids and spending time with them is the most important; and then, if there is time... the house will get clean... if not; that's what the hubbys for

 

[lucypevensie]

Do you know any other young moms who might be interested in starting a weekly playgroup or some such activity? That's a good time to get together with others such as yourself and the moms can visit while the kids play. Instead of sending our kids to preschool for their social outlet we get involved with a small group of friends.

 

[Memory's Flame]

LOL! I'm not even married yet! No kids until then!! I just recently moved out on my own and am learning how to cook and clean! It's rather difficult as cooking for my mom was dialing pizza hut! And cleaning for her...didn't happen! She was so busy with work that none of that stuff was ever done!
So I'm learning by myself to cook and clean...which isn't going over to well!! My house is fairly clean though But food right now is normally Kraft Mac N Cheese and ramen noodles!! But... I bought my first whole chicken and my first cookbook and I'm going to attempt to make something out of it! Wish me luck

 

[Evening Mist]

Good luck with your chicken. BTW, You can find recipes for almost anything online if you run a search. Do you have decent pots and pans? I often ruined food, and felt badly about it, until I realized I needed half way decent cooking gear before I was going to get reasonable results. (Cooking in tin pots from the dollar store was a mess.) Also -- take your time and experiment.

My mom is a wonderful cook, but never taught me anything because she preferred to have the kitchen to herself. I could not cook at all when I got out on my own, and compared everything I made to her food! It was so discouraging. But here I am, after 7 years -- cooking really great meals for my family. My husband says that it is amazing considering how often we ate out of a box when we were first married!

And I AM teaching my sons to cook. It is hard, but I will share my kitchen.

 

[Tami]

JaqueB,

I just recieved the book, "Professionalizing Motherhood" by Jill Savage that I ordered not too long ago. It's really a good book for stay-at-home moms or anyone who wants to be a stay-at-home mom or is even remotely interested in being a stay-at-home mom. It's very encouraging. I just got it today and I'm already on page 58. I never read 58 pages of ANY book in one day. If you think you might want to read it, you can get it order it online at:

http://www.family.org/resources/itempg.cfm?itemid=3670

Even though you aren't married yet and have no kids, you still may find it helpful. I wish I had this book before I started having children.

Tami

 

[Memory's Flame]

Thank you very much Tami! I will definatly go check o ut that book!

 

[lucypevensie]

I think it's a really smart thing to think about raising children even before you have them. There sure isn't a whole lot of time to sit and read those books AFTER they're born. That book Tami menioned sounds really good. I might look for that one myself.

Read, read, read

 

[Doreen]

fly lady is really good - I too never got taught how to cook, clean, etc by my mom - is still a struggle for me. Things are easier if done in small bits though. I have a couple of close friends that help me by suggesting things that are easy to cook, etc which helps. Our house is improving all the time which is really good. I just need to keep in routine. Hope it goes well for you. God bless.

 

[Memory's Flame]

Thank you so much for all of your advice!

My first chicken turned out well!! (although I learned my oven is broken and fluctuates in temperature!)

I will definatly have to check out Fly-Lady! As she sounds wonderful!! I also learned that my fiance is a wonderful cook!! (Although I suppose I knew that) which is a blessing because he can help me learn!

Thanks Again!

 

[foreverloved03]

It comes naturally I promise. I was a teen mother whose father was a very bad one and I never seen my mother but a hand full of times in my life. You don't have to be betty crocker or martha stewart. Loving your kids and keeping them clean, happy, and healthy is on the right track

 

[scaddigs]

Not knowing the age of your children makes it a bit hard to give specific advice but, in general, keep them with you when you are cleaning.
eg:
While cleaning the kitchen, give them a wash cloth that is wet w/ a vinegar/water solution & let them wipe down the table, chairs, refrigerator, cabinet fronts. If one is old enough, give them the siverware & allow them to put away. Even 2 yro can fold a washcloth in half so, while you fold the towels (assuming they aren't old enough) they can fold washcloths! Little ones can 'put the magazines on the coffee table for Mommy, take Daddy's shoes into the bedroom, take the bathroom trash & set it next to the kichen trash after you've tied it closed, etc. You ARE spending quality time w/ the kids by interacting with them during these activities. "What a good job you're doing!" "Ok, guys...stop & look at how nice the living room looks now. Let's give ourselves a hand!" (everyone clap) "You are such a wonderful helper!" "I'm so thankful when you help Mommy." "I can't wait to show Daddy how hard you worked!" etc.
It's a wonderful chance to talk & teach them about pride in a job well done (& the FIRST time around lol) and also re: how we (keepers at home) are obeying our Lord by accepting our roles; doing our jobs cheerfully & glorifying Him.

 

[Brittney Moody]

ALL MOMS---- There is an awesome weekly email that goes out that helps moms raise children of GOd! Every week is a different subject that covers how to be godly wives and mothers. It is biblically based. It can be a little hardcore- so only mothers who are serious about raising up prophets, and kings for God suscribe. But it is free- and very inspiring. Just email RaisingProhets@yahoo.com to suscribe.

 

[Papist]

if not; that's what the hubbys for

Too right! (Goes off to tidy the family room ... again ... !)