how to bathe a cat

[GREG]

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have
both lids lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the
bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both
lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "powerwash
and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there
are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both
lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside
where he will dry himself.


Sincerely, The DOG

 

[PegasusOnFire]

I love this one. Though I can tell you it dose not work very well. J/K

 

[GREG]

 

[CeCe]

LOL. Funny. But I'm gettin' outta here before the kitty lovers find ya.
http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/scared/scared06.gif http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/scared/scared06.gif
http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/scared/scared06.gif
http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/scared/scared06.gif

 

[PegasusOnFire]

I am a kitty lover, I have two, and I do have to bathe them, I show cats.

 

[Knight]

I still have the scar from when I tried to bathe the cat I had when I was younger.

One of the things I like about dogs. After you bathe them you need a towel not stitches.

 

[GREG]

 

[psycmajor]

Awww, that's evil! hahaha

I'd kill someone who actually did that, though.

 

[ukok]

how do you bathe a cat ?...with caution.


Greg, that was funny, i hope no one thinks you were serious though!

 

[Chakotay2]

I love that one! It's right up there with one about 'how to pill a cat'.

 

[lucypevensie]

I am a kitty lover, I have two, and I do have to bathe them, I show cats.

I have thought about getting in on the cat show scene. What breed do you show?

I can't imagine giving a cat a bath; we've never bathed either of our 2 cats. But they don't stink, and they don't have fleas or dirty ears. Brushing them makes them shiny and keeps them pretty. So, why would a person give a cat a bath???

 

[GREG]

it works..........

 

[GREG]

just kidding

 

[Number 81]

I have wached a movie where the earth blows up 23 times,
I have seen a Old Jappaneise Rap commerchial for Legend of Zelda,
I have watched modern television
But that is the most demented thing i have ever seen, and all i have to say is...
LOL

 

[Number 81]

Oh, that commerchial i talked about...
http://www.the-nextlevel.com/movies/zelda_1m.asx

 

[MissFirerose]

My cat Lily used to play with water when she was a kitten. lol. My other cat Tiger can't stand water though. Go figure.

 

[AndyM]

In a similar vein to the original post, I got this in an email a while back. Made me laugh...

Cat Bathing as a martial art

Know that although the cat has the advantages of quickness and utter disregard for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.)

Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face mask and a long-sleeve flak jacket.

Prepare everything in advance. There is no time to go out for a towel when you have a cat digging a hole in your flak jacket. Draw the water. Make sure the bottle of kitty shampoo is inside the glass enclosure. Make sure the towel can be reached, even if you are lying on your back in the water.

Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule.

Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to your survival. In a single fluid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo. You have begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Cats have no handles.

Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more that two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record is--for cats--three latherings, so don't expect too much.)

Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying is simple compared to what you have just been through. That's because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat.

In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psycho-ceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.

You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defences and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath. But, at least now he smells a lot better.

 

[Detherk]

Thanks Andy...I needed the laugh.

 

[A Taffer]

Ok. You need a small bathroom, get rid of the shower curtain, kitty shampoo, towel and a kitty leash and collar. Put the collar on the cat and attach the kitty leash to it. Fill bathtub with half inch level lukewarm water. Run warm water out of the tap with small pressure (so as not to scare the cat). Put cat in tub. Let the cat realise he won't drown. Then gradually introduce the cat to the running water. First time or so he will be all over but get him wet and lather him up. Then rinse him under the tap. Repeat as necessary. Turn water off and drain the tub. Get the towel and dry kitty. Reassure kitty everything is ok with continual vocal support "Good kitty!" and petting. Let cat out and offer kitty treats. He may not accept them the first time but later he will. The next time around (with my cat at least) your cat will not be so scared and will eventually just learn to sit under the faucet. My cat tolerates this very well now. He'll just give me a look like "Geez, not again!" The reason for removing the shower curtain the first few times is so the cat doesn't shred it! (My cat climbed the shower curtain...not good!) The leash is so you can hold the cat in place from above the cat where he can't reach you..at least not your top half.

 

[donnyjoseph]

Shall I tell you a simple thing .

If the cat is afraid of water. Just drop it into water after you cover its eyes with your hands.

This is what I do