How to approach to opposite Sex

[hiz_child]

I don't know the answer to this question. I am hoping you all can help me with a slight problem I'm having. There is this guy at church that I think likes me. I just found out that he is going away for a year. He's shy and I'm shy so I don't want to approach him but I can't let him leave without finding out what is going on. I'm afraid that if I'm wrong I'll be so embarrassed that I'll never want to go back to church again. How do I go about this and is it really worth it.

 

[pecan]

I've had to deal with a similar problem, and all I can do is tell you what I did. I simply worked up my courage, got him into a place where we could talk privately, and told him that I was interested in him as more than a friend and was wondering what he thought about that. He told me as nicely as he could that he wasn't interested and I was a little embarrassed, but in the end it was worth it. I wasn't left wondering anymore, we were able to continue our friendship, and I found out a year or so later that he had really admired my courage in telling him.

If you don't think you can do that, maybe try dropping hints in conversations, or if you keep in touch with him, in letters. If he doesn't respond to that, my guess would be that he isn't interested, but then I'm not an expert on reading guys, so maybe a guy would give you better advice.

 

[SoldierofChrist]

hiz_child,

Here's a question for you, where is this guy going? A mission trip or something? I think a great way to at least let him know you're thinking about him is to tell him that you'll be praying for him, etc.. If this guy is pretty shy and it *seems* like there is a fair chance he likes you, then, I bet he does. I'm fairly shy myself, and I've been in a few situations in my life where there were shy girls who liked me and I doubted myself so much that despite all of the obvious signs they would give, I still was too afraid to do anything about it. Like I said, try to start up a conversation with him about where he's going, what he'll be doing, etc... and tell him you'll be praying for him, and do! Ask God what His will is for your relationship to this guy, and ask Him for guidance in this.

Also, don't worry about rejection. Be as friendly as possible, in that, you can show him how much you care by asking him about him going away and that you'll be thinking of him, etc... which will give subtle hints. If he still doesn't get it, be honest with him. Let him know that you are interested in getting to know him a bit more as friends. You don't have to blurt out that you've had a crush on him for awhile or what have you. Just be honest and friendly with him.

 

[Clay]

just try and work up the nerve to spill your guts to him! worse case senario, you're in the same situation you are now (but without the unanswered questions) and if things turn out badly then you wont see him for a year. if they turn out good, you'll be glad you did.

 

[Pope Gonzo]

Personally, I'm not a big fan of the whole "subtle hints" thing. Now, I understand that most guys will pick up on subtle hints, but we don't always take them as they're meant to be taken. It used to be that if I'm interested in a girl and she's giving me the same signals I'm giving her, I'd assume that it's a total misunderstanding and that she wouldn't like me at all. I'm just now teaching myself to take things at face value, and if the situation calls for it, just dive in and go for it.

And that's my suggestion for you too. I know exactly what it means to be shy, but I've found that picking up the phone and forcing myself to dial a number before thinking about what I'm gonna say works quite well. Thinking about it just makes me more nervous

 

[paulewog]

I would say to try to forget about being lovey-dovey and just try to be a friend. That gets the whole "what if he rejects me!" feeling out of the way.

Just try to be a friend and stay in contact, and don't let the "future-husband" thing make you get all nervous. Let God lead in that way, but open up the door by being a friend

 

[Jenndiggy]

Yup. Last thing he needs if he's going away for a year is to be wanting to be with you. As hard as it is, my advice is to do nothing (besides the fact I think men should do the pursuing). I know I went on a summer mission trip a few years ago, and thankfully right before that, the guy I was involved with and I broke things off. I don't know how I could have stood even the summer thinking how I wished I could be with him.

As hard as it is, if he's the right one for you, he'll still be the right one for you in a year.

 

[Clytie]

I agree with Paul n Jenn... If hes the right one. youll b there when he gets back. Just rememeber God sees the bigger picture. Hes gotta plan fer you!

side note- check yer pm

 

[fieldmouse3]

Definitely talk to him, but just in a friendly way. If it's meant to be, God will find a way to make it happen.

 

[Adam_for_Christ]

.... become a nun.

 

[TheFall]

I usually just strut on over and say , " Hey baby , did anyone ever tell you that you're reeaaaaalllly hot? I mean , if I could just take you to McDonalds for a whopper or somethin'.....You have a boyfriend...Oh , um , how big is he again? " That's usually how it goes. I don't date much.

 

[TheFall]

Actually I've always wanted to put out a book on dating for Christians called "Gettin' Holy wit it". It would be marketed to inner-city youth.

 

[venice]

I don't date much.

Could've fooled me! Guys sometimes (most of the time) try to hard! Girls j/want a NORMAL, down-to-earth guy who can carry a NORMAL conversation. A funny and NORMAL guy is a total plus. A funny, NORMAL, cute guy is a definite plus. But, take this advice from a good-looking DOWNTOEARTH girl Be yourself, don't try too hard (turnoff).

CIAO & GOD BLESS

 

[TheFall]

What are you talking about? I was just kidding.

 

[venice]

I know! Gee, don't have to take it personal. I kid around too!!

 

[Hound]

What is a normal guy? What is a normal girl?

 

[TheFall]

Hound has presented an extremely good set of questions. A set that can't really be answered , in my opinion.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

My sister's way of initiatin conversation with the opposite sex:

1. Get yourself a hat.
2. When he/she sees you and realizes how hot you are, they now have the opportunity to walk over and say "Hey, nice hat."
3. If they haven't noticed how hot you are, you walk over to the and say "Hey, like my hat?"
4. See where it goes.