How to answer this question?

[Jillian1527]

My daughter age 5 asked me the other day if a girls can marry girls. my 7 year old daughter said no. and this made the 5 year old very upset and she asked me again.. I changed the subject as I dont know how to answer her.
Do I tell her yes they can, because in some states they can. or do I tell her no, because that is my sexual preference?
thanks.
-Jillian

 

[Jenna]

Why not just tell her the truth, that God made marriage for a man and a woman? If she presses the issue, you could explain that women may marry other women, but God did not intend for it to be like that?

 

[selune]

Like Jenna said, you can tell her what God intended and that some states allow for girls to marry. Just like there is no law against gambling or drinking (if you're of age) some people don't do it because of religious convictions. We had the same question here and a similar response from one of our kids. She may be more concerned that she has a really good friend and we often tell our kids that ouur husband is our best friend too and she doesn't get why she can't marry her best friend. That's what started the issue in our house.

 

[herev]

Why not just tell her the truth, that God made marriage for a man and a woman? If she presses the issue, you could explain that women may marry other women, but God did not intend for it to be like that?

what Jenna said

 

[Leanna]

I would tell her that marriage is meant to be between a man and a woman. Unless she has heard of gay marriage on the news, don't complicate it more than that

 

[fiveinjuly]

Tell her the truth.

 

[Why?]

Tell her the truth.

I'll second that. A simple "Yes. In some places women can marry other women." will be fine. She's 5, she'll learn your opinions as she grows and understands things better.

 

[HeatherJay]

What Jenna said is the truth, also...and it's the answer I'd go with if my 5 year old asked me.

 

[desi]

Yeah, Jenna's right on.

 

[bliz]

Take 2 giant steps backward.

Ask her why she wants to know. It could be that she has made a very good friend and she knows that people who really love each other get married. At age 5 she really has no concept of sexuality, let alone homosexuality. Her question is innocent.

So, someday when the 2 of you are just hanging out, say something like: "Do you remember when you asked me about girls marrying girls? Why did you ask?" It could be a great time to talk about friends and friendship. And if she was wondering about same-sex marriage, you can simply say "It is God's plan that men and women marry, like Mom and Dad." and leave it at that.

 

[IslandBreeze]

Take 2 giant steps backward.

Ask her why she wants to know.

That was my first thought. I don't think it's 'what' she's asking, but why is she asking it? That's the first question you need to get an answer to. Then let's go from there.

 

[Jillian1527]

Take 2 giant steps backward.

Ask her why she wants to know. It could be that she has made a very good friend and she knows that people who really love each other get married. At age 5 she really has no concept of sexuality, let alone homosexuality. Her question is innocent.

So, someday when the 2 of you are just hanging out, say something like: "Do you remember when you asked me about girls marrying girls? Why did you ask?" It could be a great time to talk about friends and friendship. And if she was wondering about same-sex marriage, you can simply say "It is God's plan that men and women marry, like Mom and Dad." and leave it at that.

Funny.. She did ask because she was talking to her sister and said she was going to marry Autumn(her bestest friend) and my oldest said no you cant marry a girl(something she came up with on her own.) and that led to the "mommy sissy said I cant marry a girl. why cant I marry a girl?"
Thank you all for your answers. you have helped me tons. now I know what to tell her.

 

[bliz]

What your daughter is expressing is how much she loves her friend Autumn. She has learned, through observation, that when you really love someone, you marry them. (That says a lot of good things about your famiily life!)

More than anything, she needs the verbal tools to think about these emotions. You can bring up Autumn in conversations and say "I am so glad that you have a really good friend in Autumn. Friendships are so very important! Do you know Mrs. Smith? She's been my friend for 10 years - that's twice a old as you are! Good friends are so special." This helps her develop a catagory for her relationship with Autumn and later, with other friends. It affirms that her love for Autumn is fine and not wrong at all.

Enjoy!

 

[selune]

Exactly! Love for a friend is very important.

 

[Bible Addict]

Jenna's reply was brilliant

 

[~ Gig ~]

Why not just tell her the truth, that God made marriage for a man and a woman? If she presses the issue, you could explain that women may marry other women, but God did not intend for it to be like that?

I agree 100%.