I began really serving the Lord about 3 years ago. At that time I was already in an unmarried situation with a man who was/is a non-believer. We have 3 children and He does not want to get married. I have prayed for him and prayed for us but his desire to get married does not change. I have asked him to leave if he does not want to get married but he will not.I recently purchase the book"The Power of a Praying Wife."My question is, Is it proper for me to pray for him as my husband or should I try to find another book or should I just try to leave.
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How should I pray
- Thread starter sable
- Start date
pete56
A Beloved Son of God!
Sable
I can empathise with your situation, although I am married to my unbelieving wife.
How do you pray?
Well I took just that question to the Lord for my own wife recently - the bible says we should pray in accordance with God's will.
So what is God's will? And how do I discover it?
That night as I was waking these words came to me -
"The Lord desires that everyone should be saved"
It was that simple - His will is that everyone should be saved.
But, I had always prayed for Sue (my wife) to be saved and nothing was happening yet!
Then it hit me - whenever, I prayed I always added to the prayer that Sue would be saved by ....... or that when Sue is saved that we might .......
I had never simply prayed that God would save my Sue, with no add ons! A complete surrender of any "rights" I thought I might have in the situation, just that God would save her and use her whatever way He chooses.
I am still praying but at laest I am not trying to manipulate God's response.
Keep praying Sister
God bless
Pete
I can empathise with your situation, although I am married to my unbelieving wife.
How do you pray?
Well I took just that question to the Lord for my own wife recently - the bible says we should pray in accordance with God's will.
So what is God's will? And how do I discover it?
That night as I was waking these words came to me -
"The Lord desires that everyone should be saved"
It was that simple - His will is that everyone should be saved.
But, I had always prayed for Sue (my wife) to be saved and nothing was happening yet!
Then it hit me - whenever, I prayed I always added to the prayer that Sue would be saved by ....... or that when Sue is saved that we might .......
I had never simply prayed that God would save my Sue, with no add ons! A complete surrender of any "rights" I thought I might have in the situation, just that God would save her and use her whatever way He chooses.
I am still praying but at laest I am not trying to manipulate God's response.
Keep praying Sister
God bless
Pete
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Oh Sable! I am so sorry! What a hurtful situation. Definitely pray for your significant other! That seems like it's about the only thing you can do now. As far as leaving him, pray that God will lead you and guide you to follow the path He has for you. Maybe God has a christian man waiting for you. Maybe it is His will for you to leave this man. Really all you can do now is pray.
My concern is your boyfriend's influence on the kids. Does he put down christianity? Is he influencing them in a negative way? Is he supportive of your faith but just does not wish to partake himself?
Try to focus on being a godly mother and praying for your boyfriend, your children, and guidance in your situation. Don't rush to marry an ungodly man.. the bible says it is not God's wish for us to marry non-believers. By telling us this, God is protecting us from more pain in the future... He is also protecting your children. This is a very serious question. Pray a lot! I will pray for you! God bless and keep us posted!
My concern is your boyfriend's influence on the kids. Does he put down christianity? Is he influencing them in a negative way? Is he supportive of your faith but just does not wish to partake himself?
Try to focus on being a godly mother and praying for your boyfriend, your children, and guidance in your situation. Don't rush to marry an ungodly man.. the bible says it is not God's wish for us to marry non-believers. By telling us this, God is protecting us from more pain in the future... He is also protecting your children. This is a very serious question. Pray a lot! I will pray for you! God bless and keep us posted!
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FaithfulServant
The Lord directs my steps
I think you can pray for him as the father of your children. You might also look into purchasing the book "The Power of a Praying Woman", written by the same woman, I am reading it right now and it is very good 
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KleinerApfel
When I awake I am still with You
sable,
Do not leave your partner over this.
You are already "yoked" together, by your shared lives, and most importantly your children.
To break this relationship would be very damaging to you all, and though you aren't married, you are utterly commited to each other.
I am certain that God would want you to "remain as you were called." (1 Corinthians 7)
As for being unmarried, that's outside your control.
You have done your part by asking him to consider it because of your faith. You are not responsible for his refusal.
God bless, and keep praying. I know it's hard.
Do not leave your partner over this.
You are already "yoked" together, by your shared lives, and most importantly your children.
To break this relationship would be very damaging to you all, and though you aren't married, you are utterly commited to each other.
I am certain that God would want you to "remain as you were called." (1 Corinthians 7)
As for being unmarried, that's outside your control.
You have done your part by asking him to consider it because of your faith. You are not responsible for his refusal.
God bless, and keep praying. I know it's hard.
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I'm really sorry to hear your situation. I think it's best for the kids to have 2 parents. They love you both so much and you don't want to tear their lives apart.
The Lord knows what He is doing and you have to trust Him.
The only way I think you can discern what the right thing is to do is by prayer. Really listen to God. We can only listen to you and pray for you but can not tell you what the right thing for you to do is.
It could be to keep the house in tact, despite not being married.
It may be to leave or that he leaves. I am just sorry to hear about it and understand your pain.
Just don't stop praying!!! I will pray for your family, your children and partener, if you can say your first names.
Bless you.
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SuzQ
I'm.....Wonder Woman
The Lord is my banner said:
Hiya Lord is my Banner!!
How are ya - I know we haven't caught up in awhile? I have to agree with her post (and not just because I like her! LOL!). Unless he's horrible to the children, or horrible to you (and in front of the children), I would sit still for now & really open your heart to God's instructions. Technically, you ARE his partner & have a family together, whether "legally married" or not, so I certainly think the book you chose to read is a good one to help you be patient and pray. Goodness, that's such a tough call to make whether or not to stay with someone that doesn't want marriage, or the Lord in their life, etc, etc. I can definitely sympathize with your struggle!
Another great resource I've turned to on this is a great website called www.childoflight.org. Especially the link to "misconceptions" of you having the power to convert him & how to have the right "mind set" in this type of situation. It gives great advice & support!
Best wishes & I'll say a prayer for you as well.
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Hi Sable...
I'm new to this forum, but not to the difficulties of an unequally yoked marriage...my prayers are with you in this trial...my advice is to go to scripture...Jesus told the woman who was about to be stoned by the Pharisees for her sin (in this case, adultery) to "go and sin no more." It does not mention the complexities of her situation -- no doubt, there were plenty. The Lord does gladly and completely forgive us our sins, but He does not condone our continuing in our sin. However, and thank God! -- He is compassionate towards us in our distress and is also able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above and beyond what we hope or imagine. (Read the account of Hagar in relation to Sarah and Abraham - Gen 16-21). It seems to me that the proper thing to do would be to fast and pray -- really seek to get close to the Lord and be willing to do whatever He puts on your heart to do -- putting His will before every other consideration -- so that when you move to obey Him, however He directs you, you can do so in the power of the Holy Spirit and in faithfulness to the Lord with His love and best interest at heart for you, your partner, and your children. Remember, He will never lead you to do anything that opposes His Word. Whatever He directs you to do, it will be to move away from sin and toward a life of holiness. He can make a way where there seems to be no way.
My prayer for you is that the Lord would move in power to give you all the spiritual wisdom and power necessary to be obedient to the call He has placed on your life.
Eph 3:15-21 "For this cause I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom the whole family in Heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth and length and depth and height, and to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge, that you might be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, forever. Amen."
I'm new to this forum, but not to the difficulties of an unequally yoked marriage...my prayers are with you in this trial...my advice is to go to scripture...Jesus told the woman who was about to be stoned by the Pharisees for her sin (in this case, adultery) to "go and sin no more." It does not mention the complexities of her situation -- no doubt, there were plenty. The Lord does gladly and completely forgive us our sins, but He does not condone our continuing in our sin. However, and thank God! -- He is compassionate towards us in our distress and is also able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above and beyond what we hope or imagine. (Read the account of Hagar in relation to Sarah and Abraham - Gen 16-21). It seems to me that the proper thing to do would be to fast and pray -- really seek to get close to the Lord and be willing to do whatever He puts on your heart to do -- putting His will before every other consideration -- so that when you move to obey Him, however He directs you, you can do so in the power of the Holy Spirit and in faithfulness to the Lord with His love and best interest at heart for you, your partner, and your children. Remember, He will never lead you to do anything that opposes His Word. Whatever He directs you to do, it will be to move away from sin and toward a life of holiness. He can make a way where there seems to be no way.
My prayer for you is that the Lord would move in power to give you all the spiritual wisdom and power necessary to be obedient to the call He has placed on your life.
Eph 3:15-21 "For this cause I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom the whole family in Heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth and length and depth and height, and to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge, that you might be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, forever. Amen."
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KleinerApfel
When I awake I am still with You
Sable,
I am certain you are NOT sinning by continuing to live with the father of your children.
You got into this situation before you came to the Lord.
He has shown you any sin in relation to it, (ie. sexual relationship before marriage), and you have repented and been forgiven.
You have a settled life and children with this man.
You are ALREADY yoked together, so the Biblical instruction given to single people about not becoming unequally yoked is NOT relevant, since you ARE yoked by your "one flesh" union, and your shared responsibility for your children.
You have done your best to persuade him into marriage.
You are not responsible for his refusal.
I am certain that God never desires a broken home and fatherless children.
I can think of no place in scripture where we are told to get ourselves out of a relationship of this kind with an unbeliever.
The nearest advice available is to "remain as you were called."
When a wife becomes a Christian, the bible says that her existing husband is sanctified by God - ie. set apart by God for a holy purpose within that relationship. (1 Cor. 7:14)
I cannot believe that God would be any less gracious to a woman in your position.
Blessings again, Susana
I am certain you are NOT sinning by continuing to live with the father of your children.
You got into this situation before you came to the Lord.
He has shown you any sin in relation to it, (ie. sexual relationship before marriage), and you have repented and been forgiven.
You have a settled life and children with this man.
You are ALREADY yoked together, so the Biblical instruction given to single people about not becoming unequally yoked is NOT relevant, since you ARE yoked by your "one flesh" union, and your shared responsibility for your children.
You have done your best to persuade him into marriage.
You are not responsible for his refusal.
I am certain that God never desires a broken home and fatherless children.
I can think of no place in scripture where we are told to get ourselves out of a relationship of this kind with an unbeliever.
The nearest advice available is to "remain as you were called."
When a wife becomes a Christian, the bible says that her existing husband is sanctified by God - ie. set apart by God for a holy purpose within that relationship. (1 Cor. 7:14)
I cannot believe that God would be any less gracious to a woman in your position.
Blessings again, Susana
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Just want to add in light of above message...have been concerned and praying about this, because I deeply do not want to accuse nor offend nor lead astray (realizing the tremendous responsibility in the clarity of our communications with one another and I sincerely apologize if I did offend or sound accusing -- certainly did not mean to!)...
So, to clarify, yes, I agree regarding the graciousness of our Lord...I'm continually amazed by His graciousness and tenderness towards us. I want to clarify that I am not accusing in any way, nor would I dare presume to tell anyone what God wants them to do specifically... All we can do as Christians is study God's word and pray that the Holy Spirit will teach us and help us to rightly divide the word of truth -- then we are able to point out scriptural truths, when asked, in, hopefully, an edifying way (and apologize when we've failed to edify!)
So, with the sincere desire to edify by clarifying what was in my heart: what I've found to be true about the amazing tension that exists in scripture (and in the practical outworking of God's ways in our lives) is that, while God never bends His law to fit our circumstances -- as we see time and again in Jesus' example, (and as we see when we walk with Him in our own lives), He often causes His grace to rise to meet us at our most desperate point of need... He does not seek to smash us to pieces with His law (the law kills), but to give us abundant spiritual life through His grace (grace brings life). In practical terms, sometimes we can only plead our case -- then, sit still, and wait to see what He will do; sometimes He leads us to do nothing but wait on Him, sometimes He leads us to act in a specific way -- I'm speaking strictly in generalities. God sees our unique situations and prescribes a custom-made solution. In my case, unless I get a clear leading, I pray, then "sit and wait" on the Lord, expecting Him to move (I've witnessed Him work in the heart of another so as to resolve a matter without my having to do a thing) or move me (sometimes He leads me to do something that only becomes clear later as to why)...
So, it seems scripturally evident that as you seek His face, pleading your situation and your desire to do His will, He will cause His grace to rise to meet you. None of us can tell you how He will work or lead exactly. But, my prayer for you is that He will do so -- that He will by His grace, cause all things to work together for your good and your family's good -- so that, yes, your family will not only remain in tact -- but bonded by the overtaking love and grace of God and faith in Christ who sets us all free to really love one another. There is no greater joy... His intentions toward you are good -- to give you hope and a future. God bless you as you seek His face.
So, to clarify, yes, I agree regarding the graciousness of our Lord...I'm continually amazed by His graciousness and tenderness towards us. I want to clarify that I am not accusing in any way, nor would I dare presume to tell anyone what God wants them to do specifically... All we can do as Christians is study God's word and pray that the Holy Spirit will teach us and help us to rightly divide the word of truth -- then we are able to point out scriptural truths, when asked, in, hopefully, an edifying way (and apologize when we've failed to edify!)
So, with the sincere desire to edify by clarifying what was in my heart: what I've found to be true about the amazing tension that exists in scripture (and in the practical outworking of God's ways in our lives) is that, while God never bends His law to fit our circumstances -- as we see time and again in Jesus' example, (and as we see when we walk with Him in our own lives), He often causes His grace to rise to meet us at our most desperate point of need... He does not seek to smash us to pieces with His law (the law kills), but to give us abundant spiritual life through His grace (grace brings life). In practical terms, sometimes we can only plead our case -- then, sit still, and wait to see what He will do; sometimes He leads us to do nothing but wait on Him, sometimes He leads us to act in a specific way -- I'm speaking strictly in generalities. God sees our unique situations and prescribes a custom-made solution. In my case, unless I get a clear leading, I pray, then "sit and wait" on the Lord, expecting Him to move (I've witnessed Him work in the heart of another so as to resolve a matter without my having to do a thing) or move me (sometimes He leads me to do something that only becomes clear later as to why)...
So, it seems scripturally evident that as you seek His face, pleading your situation and your desire to do His will, He will cause His grace to rise to meet you. None of us can tell you how He will work or lead exactly. But, my prayer for you is that He will do so -- that He will by His grace, cause all things to work together for your good and your family's good -- so that, yes, your family will not only remain in tact -- but bonded by the overtaking love and grace of God and faith in Christ who sets us all free to really love one another. There is no greater joy... His intentions toward you are good -- to give you hope and a future. God bless you as you seek His face.
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KleinerApfel
When I awake I am still with You
ng_eph610
I agree "sit and wait" and keep praying, Sable.
(Where are you Sable?!)
Also, welcome to the forums both of you.
This is a quiet area, days can pass with no new posts, but when folks do come out it's very friendly and encouraging, so I hope you'll join us again.
God bless, Susana
I agree "sit and wait" and keep praying, Sable.
(Where are you Sable?!)
Also, welcome to the forums both of you.
This is a quiet area, days can pass with no new posts, but when folks do come out it's very friendly and encouraging, so I hope you'll join us again.
God bless, Susana
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