I definitely agree with all that you said. The only thing I won't agree with, is that a person must love a brother before he can receive salvation. The verses about receiving salvation is very clear that no works can bring you salvation. Loving a brother is defined as a work.
All I can say is that one who does not love his brother is a murderer and does not have eternal life abiding in him.
1 John 3:15
Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.
I'm not a Greek scholar, but I'm fairly sure that 'hate' is referring to a 'continual hate'. I've been in many churches. I've seen hatred among the people there towards others. I'm sure you have also. I'm not talking about overt hatred, but hatred in how they act towards others.
If one has continual hatred towards others, he is a murderer, no two ways about it.
I also cannot agree with you that salvation is a life long work. Repentance is definitely a lifelong work. The Bible clearly states that salvation cannot be achieve through works. If you don't believe me, I can provide you with verses. But nothing in your entire lifetime of repenting and overcoming will be something you can say gave you the chance to receive that salvation. Once salvation is given (freely and gracefully), it becomes the beginning of a lifetime of repenting and trusting in Jesus.
This is said about Jesus -
Matthew 1:21
And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name Jesus: for he shall save his people from their sins.
Salvation is all about sins and Jesus saves us from our sins. Now, if sins can be eradicated in one fell swoop, then yes, salvation come immediately, conclusively, and in finality. However, I know of no one who doesn't have sins proceeding from their hearts. They can confess, believe, repent, read the Bible, and do all the good they can muster, but sin is still present.
As long as sin is still present in the heart and reigning over a person, we see that salvation from sins is continual, life-long procedure. Many have no desire to rid their hearts of sin; the are content being a slave to sin.
As I said earlier, we battle sins one at a time. We would be overwhelmed and defeated if we battle all of them at once. Therefore, it takes a lifetime for the Lord to show us our sins in His Light, and with His help, battle the sin He reveals to us.
The hard part for people to understand salvation is apart from works, is because it sounds too easy. That it gives people the easy opportunity to to do whatever they want. What you have to understand is that in order to receive salvation, you have to come to the understanding that you are a sinfully natured person who will never truly be happy apart from Christ. When you do receive salvation, you receive the Holy Spirit and God the Father and God the Son dwelling in you. The holy spirit will become your master and you become a slave to righteousness, meaning the Holy Spirit will convict and discipline you in your sin. Such as hating a brother. Therefore free salvation apart from works does not mean it's a free pass to living how you want.
Oh, it's very easy to do nothing. Doing nothing will produce nothing. If you have weeds in your yard, and only believe your yard is in perfect condition, you have nothing. It takes you getting out there and 'battling' those weeds, removing them. If you don't remove them, soon they will take over your yard.
To receive salvation, you not only come to the understanding you are a sinful person, but 'clean the inside of the cup' also. James says this -
James 4:8
Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
First we draw near to God, and He will draw near to us. Once His Light enlightens us, we can see our sins and faults. Then we are to cleanse our hands and purify our hearts. Many don't come to the Light, for it exposes their sins.
But apart from those two big things, I agree with much that you said. And I appreciate your response. God bless your heart for being on fire to discuss with me.
I appreciate you taking time to discuss these things with me in a civil and Christ-like manner.