I was wondering everyones views on how much physical contact is too much for boyfriend/girlfriend relationships? And does that increase when you get engaged?
Just wanted to know your views.
Just wanted to know your views.
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How much is too much?
- Thread starter GirlForChrist
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HeatherJay
Kisser of Boo-Boos
- Sep 1, 2003
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Well, you never want to get to a point that you're so caught up in hormones that you can't think clearly enough to stop things before the go too far. That point is probably different for everyone. I would say that, from a Biblical standpoint, things probably shouldn't go too far past kissing...no intimate touching or anything. If your goal is staying pure for your husband, then make finding a husband your goal. I had a Sunday school teacher long ago who told me you should never date anyone that you couldn't see yourself married to. I thought, at the time, that her logic was a little backward...how can you know if he's someone you'd marry unless you date him??? But focus in on the qualities that a Christian husband should have, then seek out those qualities in those you date. If you go out with a guy that has those Christian values (and practices them) then you'll never find yourself in a situation where you alone are in charge of keeping the kissy-touchy situation under control...because he'll be just as conscious of it as you are. Good luck 
.
Love, Heather
. Love, Heather
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DaveKerwin
Represent the Most High
If kissing makes you get sexual, then don't kiss. If holding hands or cuddling on the couch makes you get sexual, then don't do that either.
Regardless of who you are, engaging in any form of play with sex organs is not beneficial, run from it!
Non-sexual touch is awesome (playing with hair, back rub, whatever). It allows you to feel physically close with a person without having any kind of premarital sex.
Regardless of who you are, engaging in any form of play with sex organs is not beneficial, run from it!
Non-sexual touch is awesome (playing with hair, back rub, whatever). It allows you to feel physically close with a person without having any kind of premarital sex.
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LadyBird
Dance Me to the End of Love
Totally agree with everything that is posted above. It's totally true. Also, don't let the physical part of your relationship develop too early on in the relationship because you don't want to meet your boundaries early on cuz then you will be struggling for the rest of your relationship not to go "further."
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DaveKerwin
Represent the Most High
GirlForChrist said:
you want to discuss some of these things? maybe knowing reasons behind them woudl help?
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well my boyfriend and i have gotten physical (more then kissing and such but not intercourse) so i talked to him about it last week and he said that if i felt as if we shouldn't partake in those things till marriage, he'd respect that. He's said he didn't want to do anything that would make me feel unconfortable.
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Cragg
Laaaaaaaaaaaaa
I have gone further than kissing with my girlfriend, but not as far as sex. I strongly feel that we are not going to go as far as sex before we get married.
I want to respect what she wants to do from this point on, she knows that I feel strong in not having sex.
The limit of how far you can go (in my opinion) depends on the person, for one person even Kissing may be the limit, but for others they may be able to go further.
And yes, I think temptation to further will always be there, no matter how far you go. Resisting the temptation is the most important part.
I'm no expert on the subject, feel free to hack away at my opinion however you wish
I want to respect what she wants to do from this point on, she knows that I feel strong in not having sex.
The limit of how far you can go (in my opinion) depends on the person, for one person even Kissing may be the limit, but for others they may be able to go further.
And yes, I think temptation to further will always be there, no matter how far you go. Resisting the temptation is the most important part.
I'm no expert on the subject, feel free to hack away at my opinion however you wish
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DaveKerwin
Represent the Most High
It is extremely important that you recognize oral sex, as actual sex. Oral sex is essentially the same exact thing as intercourse, except it is with a different part of the body. The same exact thing happens, and it is therefore sex. So if you are doing that, then you are having premarital sex, which I do not recommend for God's holy people. So consider your motives behind going as far as you are going with your significant other, and if it is really the same, as I am suggesting.
Save sex for marriage, it is worth it!
Save sex for marriage, it is worth it!
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katylees
Kaaaaty
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'It is extremely important that you recognize oral sex, as actual sex. Oral sex is essentially the same exact thing as intercourse, except it is with a different part of the body.' --- i agree with that, never thought of it that way but i suppose it is true really, i wouldn't go any further than i have done, dunno whether it is ok or not tho really :S - katy
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Well Oral sex is the same as sex except you can't get pregnant from it, so yes, mentally it may be the same, but physically different. God made sex for reproduction to fulfill the commandment of Reproduce and Multiply...Ect. So Oral sex is not sex because you can not get pregnant from it and thus reproduce. I do agree that it is Sexually Immoral and thus sin, but why seperate intercourse and Sexual Immorality into two categories, they are both sin.
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YouthPastor
Name = Brett
The less "physical" contact that you can do - THE BETTER.
One thing leads to another (or atleast the temptation)
When holdig hands gets old, You kiss, when kissing gets old, you neck, when that gets old....
The less the better
One thing leads to another (or atleast the temptation)
When holdig hands gets old, You kiss, when kissing gets old, you neck, when that gets old....
The less the better
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DaveKerwin
Represent the Most High
Sex is not just about the flesh, it is about the heart. You have ignored the heart when maing your reply. Is the desire any different from oral sex and intercourse? What if a person has intercourse but simply does nto plant a seed? Is it not sex because she coudl not get pregnant?Flames said:
Basically, I think you are very wrong. Oral sex IS sex.
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Dave, Thats what always gets you into trouble..Assuming that you are right and others are very wrong. I thought you'd learn....DaveKerwin said:
You can't have sex without a possibility of pregnancy. Pre-sperm contains the same ingredients for pregnancy as everything else. From a scientific and physical standpoint, Oral sex cannot get you pregnant and thus is not sex. If you are talking about the heart, then yes anything sexually immoral can cause a soul tie to that person, but so can emotionalism. Telling somebody you love them and only want to be with them and everything else guys tell girls. Emotionalism can cause soul ties just like physical activity, yet we do not call soul ties sex do we. If anything, emotionalism to anybody other then the person your going to marry could be equated to rape of the heart. So Yes, Oral Sex could cause a connection of souls through an illegal boundary violation. From a scientific standpoint, it is not. It is actually called [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] and so you cant use the argument that oral sex has the word sex in it so it must be sex.
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YouthPastor
Name = Brett
Definition of sex:
3 a : sexually motivated phenomena or behavior b : [size=-1]SEXUAL INTERCOURSE[/size]
Definition of sexual intercourse:
2 : intercourse involving genital contact between individuals other than penetration of the ****** by the *****
ORal sex involves genital contact
Therfore Oral sex is SEX!
3 a : sexually motivated phenomena or behavior b : [size=-1]SEXUAL INTERCOURSE[/size]
Definition of sexual intercourse:
2 : intercourse involving genital contact between individuals other than penetration of the ****** by the *****
ORal sex involves genital contact
Therfore Oral sex is SEX!
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Youth Pastor,
I know you found your information on Merriam Webster and if you would have noted the date you may have kicked yourself. The date is 1799. When was the bible written again. I will give you a logical explanation using the bible. No the bible is not a dictionary. You chose a dictionary definition because you thought, well it must be right because it fits into the category because of the words under the definition. Well Here is my logical conclusion.
First, The bible was written before the first dictionary. With that being said, lets look at some scripture.
Genesis 1:22 The first verse referring to reproduction among animals.
Genesis 1:28 God tells man to reproduce and multiply. This scripture being the first implication about sex amongst Humans. You can't reproduce without sex. Genesis 4:1 is the first mention in the bible about Reproduction taking place. Cain is born.
The first mention after creation was to reproduce and multiply. To fill the earth. My argument is this:
1. You cannot reproduce without sex
2. The first mention of sex was for the purpose of Reproduction.
A. Sex then, should be defined by reproduction, not by merriam webster.
My conclusion is this. If Oral Sex could get you pregnant and cause reproduction, then I would agree that it is intercourse.
Humans were created for reproduction, not pleasure. It is assumed from Evolutionists that Humans had to be tricked to reproduce and that is the reason it evolved to be so pleasurable. I think that the bible is clear that Sex is for reproduction and not pleasure. The fact that sex is pleasurable has nothing to do with the purpose for it. Make Sense?
I know you found your information on Merriam Webster and if you would have noted the date you may have kicked yourself. The date is 1799. When was the bible written again. I will give you a logical explanation using the bible. No the bible is not a dictionary. You chose a dictionary definition because you thought, well it must be right because it fits into the category because of the words under the definition. Well Here is my logical conclusion.
First, The bible was written before the first dictionary. With that being said, lets look at some scripture.
Genesis 1:22 The first verse referring to reproduction among animals.
Genesis 1:28 God tells man to reproduce and multiply. This scripture being the first implication about sex amongst Humans. You can't reproduce without sex. Genesis 4:1 is the first mention in the bible about Reproduction taking place. Cain is born.
The first mention after creation was to reproduce and multiply. To fill the earth. My argument is this:
1. You cannot reproduce without sex
2. The first mention of sex was for the purpose of Reproduction.
A. Sex then, should be defined by reproduction, not by merriam webster.
My conclusion is this. If Oral Sex could get you pregnant and cause reproduction, then I would agree that it is intercourse.
Humans were created for reproduction, not pleasure. It is assumed from Evolutionists that Humans had to be tricked to reproduce and that is the reason it evolved to be so pleasurable. I think that the bible is clear that Sex is for reproduction and not pleasure. The fact that sex is pleasurable has nothing to do with the purpose for it. Make Sense?
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YouthPastor
Name = Brett
Ok - God said be fruitful and multiplyFlames said:
Then you should not have sex (intercourse) unless you are planning on having a kid. No hystorecomy's not vastectomy's because we are to be fruitful and multiply.
NO SEX unless you are planning on haveing a kid. That measn you can not have sex with your wife just because you love her. You can only have sex with your wife or husband if the goal is reporduction.
Evolutionists????? Frankly I don't care what evolutionists say! We did not come from a monkey (or atleast I did not)- so the reason why an evolutionist says we have sex really does not apply here.
Based on your post - you agree that sex is ONLY for reporduction? As that is the what your references are pointing out????
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YouthPastor has some incredibly valid points here. If sex that caused sexual reproduction is the only true sex, then we can automatically invalidate regular sex if someone is on the pill, using a condem, or planning to take the morning after pill.YouthPastor said:
But let's be real for a second here. I don't think hardly anyone wants to have sex just for a kid. There is a process of arousal that takes place and typically somewhere in the mill of things some kind of [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]. If that happens with either party, then it's sex. If it's something that would/could/should normally lead up to the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] of either party (in a sexual way), then it's sex.
Without accepting this, we can have people having full on intercouse, and because of some verbal technicality it's not deemed sex. What kinda insanity are you trying to deal up?
Are you trying to justify yourself? Forget it, cause we're all screwed up.
You really shouldn't even be bothering trying to justify yourself unless you have some messiah complex or something.
"The heart of man is deceitfully wicked. Who can understand it?" Jer 17:9
I'm sinful, you're sinful. We're all sinful. If you don't want to accept the Truth (as given in the Word of God, the Bible) it's your prerogative. But don't go around calling yourself a Christian when you aren't willing to give the entire Bible credance in your life. That would be like me calling myself a Satanist just because I happened to be a little bit worldly.
Okay?
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