Just wonderin...
How many years do you think a couple should be together and/or know each other before getting married?
How many years do you think a couple should be together and/or know each other before getting married?
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How long?
- Thread starter angelbaby12487
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littlemrs
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There's no possible way that a surefire answer can be given to this question. It differs depending on circumstances and the couple involved. Some people will say 2 years, some will say 3, some will say that only a few months is the perfect amount of time. Each couple must diligently spend much time in prayer to determine when it is the right time for them to marry.
My fiance and I were engaged after a little over 2 years of dating. We were very young and probably could have waited at least another few months to be engaged; when we marry, we'll have been engaged for 22 months, which is definitely a long time between engagement and marriage. It's been a difficult wait this last year, which is why I can now see that perhaps waiting a little while to get engaged might have been better. However, I certainly don't regret getting engaged when we did; I just wish I had enjoyed our engagement more.
My fiance and I were engaged after a little over 2 years of dating. We were very young and probably could have waited at least another few months to be engaged; when we marry, we'll have been engaged for 22 months, which is definitely a long time between engagement and marriage. It's been a difficult wait this last year, which is why I can now see that perhaps waiting a little while to get engaged might have been better. However, I certainly don't regret getting engaged when we did; I just wish I had enjoyed our engagement more.
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bumblebee62331
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Yup I agree.
You can't possibly say a certain amount of time is the correct amount of time. It depends on the couple and circumstances.
You can't possibly say a certain amount of time is the correct amount of time. It depends on the couple and circumstances.
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~Beauty_from_Pain~
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I really think it depends on the two people involved.
However, I do think that all couples should wait at least one year just so that you get a chance to learn about each other. However, this is just my opinion. I would never marry someone who I had been dating for less than a year.
However, I do think that all couples should wait at least one year just so that you get a chance to learn about each other. However, this is just my opinion. I would never marry someone who I had been dating for less than a year.
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- Jul 10, 2006
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I think it all depends on each individual couple. Some couples are ready after a few months (although I don't recommend it) Some couples wait several years before they get married. My sister and her husband got engaged after only four months while my cousin and her husband were together nearly six years before they got married.
I personally believe in long dating periods and short engagement periods. Dating for at least a year to however long a couple feels is best and the engagement period should be no longer than a year.
If a couple puts God in the center of their relationship and trust Him I believe they will know the right time to get engaged and married.
blessings,
~Michele
I personally believe in long dating periods and short engagement periods. Dating for at least a year to however long a couple feels is best and the engagement period should be no longer than a year.
If a couple puts God in the center of their relationship and trust Him I believe they will know the right time to get engaged and married.
blessings,
~Michele
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ByLoveAndGrace
Engaged 12/24/2006 Getting Married 10/13/2007
If you had asked me this a year ago, I would say at least two years of dating, and one year of engagement, but now that I am in love with someone, and we are planning on getting married I have since realized that you can't place a measurement of time on the relationship. Only God can determine the amount of time a couple should be together.
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squeakyclean1
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It all depends, as everyone has said, on the 2 people. I also think it depends on the age of the 2 people. If they are young, then a longer amount of time, but older needs a somewhat shorter amount of time. I know a couple who were both 30, and they dated for 3 months and got married, and were married before a year after meeting each other. I also know a couple that has been dating since 7th grade, and they are now both 21. For them only dating 3 months would have been kind of ridiculous.
But on average, about a year, because then you get to see how the person reacts to different times of the year.
But on average, about a year, because then you get to see how the person reacts to different times of the year.
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barefeetonholyground
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I think it really does depend on the couple. I always wanted at least 6 months of getting to know one another, a year of dating, 6-18 months of engagement. But it ended up with a year of talking online, three months of dating, nine months of engagement, and five months of marriage today.
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princessellie
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friends of mine were engaged after only 4 months of dating i think it really depends on the couple and how well you knew one another b4 you started dating, my bf and i have been dating for nearly 5 months and we are no where near that point yet, doesnt meant i dont love him to bits though
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Whatever people are comfortable with, but I think its a bad sign if they've been together for 3+ years and don't have any plans to get married. 
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littlemrs
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Leanna said:Whatever people are comfortable with, but I think its a bad sign if they've been together for 3+ years and don't have any plans to get married.
Agreed. If someone has been in a relationship for an extended period of time, I'd seriously question if there were committment issues if marriage wasn't in the near future. I think a lot of people say things like, "well, we just can't get married right now" just for an excuse, whether it's conscious or subconscious. Yet those people don't want to end the relationship because they don't want to be alone. I have a friend who has been in a relationship for a very long time with no plans for marriage in the future, and she uses the excuse that they just can't afford it -- yet they both live on their own and have incomes sufficient to pay their bills separately. Common sense would indicate that they could pay their bills together, but apparently they don't think so.
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hasnoname
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angelbaby12487 said:
I havent read any of the posts, but I am sure it has been said...but it is definitely an individual thing. For example, there are 2 great spiritual relationships I use as role models for my relationship.
One is my mentor's, old discipleship leaders marriage. He is a great man of God and his marriage is a mirror image of his walk. They dated for 6 and half years before they got married. That marriage is over 20 years strong and still very very alive.
Another is my girlfriends parents. They are true followers of Christ, and just their family is amazing. They dated for 3 months I believe before they got engaged and were married 11 months after they started dating. Their marriage is over 20 years strong and still very very alive as well.
Basically if you base your relationship in Christ...and there is a solid foundation in Christ, He will show you the way. And it might be really really soon and people might scoff at you, but hey...Christ is the trump of this world in my books (in a non blasphemous way)...His will often defies our logic.
I did a Song of Songs devotional led by Tommie Nelson (he is local to me...but I believe this series is pretty popular across the US) and went through the dating and courtship parts (didnt want to get into marriage until I was already engaged) with a brother in Christ of mine. Of course Song of Songs is very poetic and could be interpreted (like much of the Bible) several different ways. This interpretation shows Solomon marrying his beloved after around a year of dating and courtship. Nelson makes the point that following a Biblical example, it is possible to go through a completely God-based courtship in about a year. Just an extra thought...
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Inperfected
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For me and my fiance, it was quick to get engaged, then we slowed down a bit. Quite honestly, It was TOO quick. We knew each other "very" well, and that but realistically, we had some mental matuing that had to be done before then, and it hadn't. This kinda created hurt on both sides (we began unofficially dating, around 2 weeks after getting out of a year long relationship, in which we were virutally engaged...)... Needless to say, I was hurting and it hurt us both..
As per the question, it is your own decision, but i think in saying that, it needs to be made with the counsell of others as well (we had a close christian friend (older man) questioning isaac on his intentions, and questioning even me on isaacs intentions... We assured him they were good, 2 weeks later engaged.)
But my life hasn't been roses in the way of dating, I have dated 7ish guys, and had some rocky roads with it (been properly single for approx 2 months out of 5ish years now.........) but i think i'm on the right track now... it was 15 months together the other day, and only 6 weeks til our wedding now.
As per the question, it is your own decision, but i think in saying that, it needs to be made with the counsell of others as well (we had a close christian friend (older man) questioning isaac on his intentions, and questioning even me on isaacs intentions... We assured him they were good, 2 weeks later engaged.)
But my life hasn't been roses in the way of dating, I have dated 7ish guys, and had some rocky roads with it (been properly single for approx 2 months out of 5ish years now.........) but i think i'm on the right track now... it was 15 months together the other day, and only 6 weeks til our wedding now.
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- Jan 6, 2004
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Sean and I dated just for a few months (2 or 3 months) before deciding yes were were the ones for one another, although we had been best friends for a year and a half of meeting. Though we'll be waiting a few more months before getting engaged, it'll probably happen before our one year annivesary. We'll be waiting to get married for another year after that until we're both done with college.
My parents, who will be married for 29 years this September, met through my grandparents, went on one date (while my Dad sang a beautiful Russian love song into her ear) and Mom knew she was going to marry him, and a week after MEETING were engaged. He went back to Canada (where he was working) and 3 months after meeting they were married.
Sometimes it happens fast... other times it takes a couple of years or even a decade or so. It's different for everyone though I think when you know, you know. Although I do ask couples NOT to rush into engagment and marriage.
My parents, who will be married for 29 years this September, met through my grandparents, went on one date (while my Dad sang a beautiful Russian love song into her ear) and Mom knew she was going to marry him, and a week after MEETING were engaged. He went back to Canada (where he was working) and 3 months after meeting they were married.
Sometimes it happens fast... other times it takes a couple of years or even a decade or so. It's different for everyone though I think when you know, you know. Although I do ask couples NOT to rush into engagment and marriage.
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Thank you all for the advice, it sounds like it is different for everyone.
Me and my boyfriend dated for 5 months broke up and then got together 1 month later now we have been dating for a total of 7 months. We both know we want to marry each other in the future, but we both know that it will be after we graduate college in about 3 years. So what do ya'all thank on that? Any advice?
Me and my boyfriend dated for 5 months broke up and then got together 1 month later now we have been dating for a total of 7 months. We both know we want to marry each other in the future, but we both know that it will be after we graduate college in about 3 years. So what do ya'all thank on that? Any advice?
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