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How long? needing advice..

raychael

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I'm so sick of living so confused an indecisiveness about every important choice ahead of me, I'm sure a lot of people in their early twenties feel this way. Since I can remember I've been labeled as different and kind of a loner, not that I didn't have friends, I could get along with most kids, and always had two to three best friends through out my life so far.. but always feels like somethings missing.. or something is profoundly wrong with me, has anyone else ever felt this way? you wonder if its the depression? wonder if its just you being an 'over thinker'? maybe a few different reasons..
I was a really happy and sweet kid, then once I got to be about 17 and life started happening to me, a few overwhelming situations arose and I started having panic attacks, for about 3 months.. it left this detached/mild depressed feeling in me, it still lingers with me after 4 years.. about 2 years ago I had became extremely depressed a few months after finding out some terrible news about my mom, coupled with my Dad cheating on her and leaving us.. just a lot of bad news at that point in time, anyways I became very depressed and lost my appetite, a lot of sleep, and felt like I was going to lose it. I got on celexa (anti-depressant) for about 4-5 months it helped me significantly I got a job that I'm currently still at, and a car. then I quit it when after it did its job, which was basically numbing the pain until I got over that hump. It's been about a year and a half since I have been off anti depressants, and I am so use to anxiety, and depression, that I am functional with it, I still kind of enjoy life, family, and music, simple things, I appreciate any good thing in my life, and any peace that I have.
I just wonder sometimes when I'm alone like this if anyone else out there is feeling this way, and feels its changed them, or taken away from their life, motivation, cognitive ability, from their spirit, I want to feel connected in some way with people, and more so its always amazing to hear testimonies of those who can relate past tense to what I've described, that they found an answer, or came through and genuinely are restored. without antidepressants, or xanax. just truly have been healed.. has anyone here felt this way? has anyone been stuck for a while like me and wonders if they'll ever be free too? Anyone that has been cured/healed/restored from allusive strange mental illness symptoms ? If so please share, I'd like to hear your thoughts, beliefs, and anything you'd care to add. Thank you so much :)
 

Extraneous

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I worship the Lord when im depressed or overwhelmed with mental distress. I wait on the Lord. I believe my struggles have blessed me because it made me take God more seriously, and seek him more. Im not worried about healing anymore because that only causes more distress, i instead just cast my cares on the Lord, and wait on Him to strengthen me.
 
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Tempura

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I definitely feel and know that I have been permanently changed. I get along better now, but something sticks with me from the hardest times. I managed to quit my depression meds after many years. I still take small amounts of benzos regularly, but that's it. Like you, I am used to the anxiety and troubles sleeping, and I can enjoy some things, but there's a certain sense of melancholy present nearly all the time.

I would be better if I challenged myself more and if I was more active. I'm very prone to staying in my comfort zone, so I stay inside too much. And since I'm on a pension, I don't have that drive or that extra kick to put more effort into what I want to do. So while I realize that I am a little changed because of my depression and struggles, I also realize that I could make things better for myself.

Also, who isn't changed by their life? If we have suffered long from (insert X), of course it changes us a bit. If we didn't suffer, then something else in our lives would have changed us a little too. Instead of fighting it, I try to embrace it. It's not like my soul, or what I am, has changed in itself - more like just my general mood, perception in certain things and probably a few physical changes.

Extraneous already said what I was going to say next. I had to search for Christ because of my struggles. There was a time when I was broken beyond my own belief. I hated every second of that struggle I had, but it brought me closer to God. And it taught me to humble myself in a good way and carry my burdens to Jesus Christ. I learned to put my hope and faith in something else than myself and my abilities. The things that really matter (beautiful mundane things like love) became more important, and the things that don't, became less important. I'm still learning patience and the great principles of the serenity prayer, but I'm getting better at it. And I don't believe I learned anything by myself. I'm too stubborn and stupid for that. I believe God helped me and still does. Even when I can't see or feel it. Thank God it's not my feelings I have to put my faith in. They've betrayed me many times.

One last thing: even if I still carry things and certain shadows from the hardest times in my life, I have never felt this free. Never. I have less than what I had when depression and anxiety struck me like a lightning back in the day. I don't have a job, my apartment is a lot smaller, I don't have a wife or a girlfriend. Some would say I have no life. But I have so much more peace. God is good and His grace is a wondrous thing.
 
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Jeshu

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Its best not to wait in the negativity of the lies depression fires your way, this way you will be consumed by wrong in no time at all. The trick is to hold fast onto the truth of the bible - when the realities of depression's lies come your way.

So I'm no good at all - turns to I'm a child of the most High God!
My future is hopeless - hoping in God's loving truth to bring good and overpower bad.
It will never be any better - to God's loving truth will raise you on your feet again.

and so on.....

Can you see that each lie depression fires your way must be exposed by God's truth before it can be done away with. So all those thoughts and feelings which hurt, imprison, oppress or belittle you expose to the truths of the bible and let God's loving truth set things straight.

Once when bad life was still very powerful in my life I saw that the truth of God's love would set me free one day and I wrote a prose about what I understood. This poetic vision has come true in many ways and is still coming true in many ways. God's loving truth is awesome that much I can assure you. I hope it will give you hope that God will come and save you from your bad life and bring you His good life.

:hug:

What Can I Say About Suffering

What can I say, about what have I learned from our Heavenly Father? I can see now that evil lies cause pain to be alive within human existence. I have watched how isolation, forces lies down into suffering souls - as The Wicked cut all ties with truthful love and our crushing depression generate its own misery in our agonising hell down there. I know that in the Pit all lies end up - dragging us down living dead. Yet why would I continue to let bad life be dominant in my inner world of awareness and not God's loving truth to rule my every moment?

I have learned that creeds, values and morals are rules upon rules ruling. Still wicked lies spread like maggots through my flesh, killing all goodness within me, because I'm imperfect! To just let it be and move on is best I learned about that. And so The Word of God spoken in love for God, self and neighbour, is The Voice to heed at all times.

I have experienced that time brings good and bad, up and down, far and wide for everyone. Yet the power of God's love, as even bad sin and great failings ruled me, couldn't subdue Jesus grace over me as His loving truth set me free to be myself - time and again.

I understand that anguish speaks to those experiencing life truly untrue and lovelessly - and that our Heavenly Father never wanted this to rule His kids. Indeed I know that my wretchedness longs for the demise of all my agony. So that misery may never rule my life again, no more Bad Life overshadowing my here and now, instead freedom for me. For in God's loving truth, even through much hurt, I can finally stay on top of things, my loveless lies to hand to Christ as God's Good Life grows within in Return.

I know now that loving truth is the only useful weapon against the forces of evil. Complete freedom for me if I heed God's love in truth to rule my daily life. So why would I foolishly keep letting malefic lies decide my future. Why not forgive, why leave truthful love? While I know that only God's good makes my life a worthwhile experience?

I have seen that life is genuinely worth living in honest loving togetherness. Where everyone who exists is esteemed because they are specially made. For our real value lays not in how much gain we can yield for others. But simply because all existence speaks of life's importance to be loved. The communion of Saints - true love loving people doing the loving - is very important therefore.

So I choose loving truthfulness to steer me through those terrible storms down here. For even through extraordinary agony and times of incredible much suffering. God's truth preserves my life. His loving goodness keeping me from falling. As I found that warm-heartedness is truly effective against the deadly chill of devil's breath.
 
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ml5363

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I didnt battle depressiin but gre up with an alcoholic father that cause skme emotiinal damge..I found writing a prayer journal per se helped me...would pour my emotions on paper...later in I would look back and see how god worked it out for me and helped me get thru it...the point of it being he will get us thru all of our trials
 
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com7fy8

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I'm so sick of living so confused an indecisiveness about every important choice ahead of me,
Well, it is good to not boast that we know what we are doing, and then just do whatever we please. But, also, be encouraged that God cares about us and is interested in personally guiding us - - -

"casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

I often do not know what to do. So, I be quiet and in prayer trust God to do what He wants with me. Also, I need to wait for however God will have things go, for me to discover. My choice making certainly does not, can not, decide what others will do and what the weather will be :)

I've been labeled as different and kind of a loner,
Well, Raychael :) if you really got to know any person who has said this about you, you might discover how strange that person could be . . . if you knew every thing that is going on in someone else's head. But people can only look at how you seem to act like others or not. So, enjoy caring about others, while they might only analyze and compare your behavior.

This world is about oppression > making ones like others, so they can be controlled and used as a group. So, don't be afraid to be different :) God is our Creator, not a cloner and copier; so enjoy how God has you becoming unique and how creatively He has us loving.

always had two to three best friends through out my life so far.. but always feels like somethings missing..
We all need Jesus in us and how He has us loving. And even if we have received Christ, by trusting in Him, still we need to grow in love . . . and keep growing . . . and this with correction and maturing . . . all our lives. But as we grow, things get easier emotionally and spiritually, though things in our lives and responsibilities can become greater > the yoke is easy and the burden is light, in Jesus > Matthew 11:28-30.

wonder if its just you being an 'over thinker'?
I can over-think. But I am learning not to trust that analyzing which can feed on things I am assuming and do not really know :help::scratch::sorry: I can tell if I am staying with God in His peace, or not; and if I'm getting away, I can get homesick to be back with the LORD in goodness of His love and peace and joy. If I get away, I trust God to correct and restore me, then sense for how He brings me along in His peace, "and don't trust less".

a few overwhelming situations arose and I started having panic attacks, for about 3 months.. it left this detached/mild depressed feeling in me, it still lingers with me after 4 years..
There are impossible things that won't go away or seem like they won't. But that stubborn stuff is not as strong as God > "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." (in 2 Corinthians 12:7-15)

God's grace is almighty against any impossible painful shameful scary stuff. And as God changes our character, we become less and less available to being tormented by negative and nasty stuff. And we become more and more unconditionally loving, because this grace is the action of God's love in us :) So, God does not only protect us, but He perfects us in His love.

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." (1 John 4:18)

The writer of this, I think, Raychael, experienced how God's love "casts out fear" > he experienced how he had had fear and its torments, but then discovered how God's love resurrected him out of that. We all have needed the same thing. But each of us can get isolated in our own problems and trouble and feel like we are the only one, all alone. So, it is good to help one another.

What I understand now is that every personality torment is somehow connected with fear and worry. So, as we trust God to cast out our fear and worry, also the various torments go along with the fear at their root.

I got a job that I'm currently still at
Thank You, God! May you benefit from growing in caring for the people you work with and ones you serve. Instead of just trying to get things done and use people, enjoy caring about anyone, appreciating each moment to be with each one. Ones can be hard and impossible, but be a strong example.

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

It's been about a year and a half since I have been off anti depressants, and I am so use to anxiety, and depression, that I am functional with it,
As we grow in love, cruel feelings and emotions have less and less effect. And with Jesus, as we learn from Him and grow > "you will find rest for your souls." (in Matthew 11:28-30)

I still kind of enjoy life, family, and music, simple things, I appreciate any good thing in my life, and any peace that I have.
I enjoy rain and fresh air and the scent of polar air and rain. And, like I say, more and more while I am serving, I enjoy each moment to be with anyone who is near me, asking for help, or helping me . . . not just getting things done. It is good not to take for granted any moment we can share with any Christian.

And while you are even right in the middle of doing things, possibly it can be good to take a pit stop to be still and quiet and enjoy God.

I just wonder sometimes when I'm alone like this if anyone else out there is feeling this way, and feels its changed them, or taken away from their life, motivation, cognitive ability, from their spirit, I want to feel connected in some way with people,
I suspect a number of people are looking for pleasure and excitement with other people. We need to be able to be quiet with God and satisfied, so we can deeply connect quietly and not get bored or lonely. Boredom and loneliness can attack us in our quietness so we fear being quiet. But God's love is gentle and quiet and we are pleasing to our Father in His love's gentleness and quietness >

"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)

its always amazing to hear testimonies of those who can relate past tense to what I've described, that they found an answer, or came through and genuinely are restored. without antidepressants, or xanax. just truly have been healed.. has anyone here felt this way?
I have been suicidal. And I offered to do God a favor by executing myself; but I decided to let God decide what to do with me. And I got what was like injections of love which made me become more and more immune to suicidal stuff. And I became encouraged that He did mean to do good with me.

But I have needed to grow, and I so benefit from my Jesus people who are good examples for me, of how to be with God and how to relate with compassion for any and all people. I used to be much more critical of people; so in my case, my suicidal criticizing could have been me reaping against myself what I had been sowing against others. We can be reaping emotionally because of what we have been sowing.

has anyone been stuck for a while like me and wonders if they'll ever be free too?
suicidally so

But what is indeed impossible for us is what God is able to do, easily and breezily and beautifully, even. But this, I now consider, can come with time, not a quick fix. We need correction . . . all of us do > Hebrews 12:4-11. Others can be sitting around, pointing at you, saying oh you are different and the weak or strange one; but they can be deeply weak so they could get into major trouble. So, have compassion on ones who do not know how to love you. And our compassion and forgiveness makes us strong so we can't keep being under the power of people who are wrong.

Anyone that has been cured/healed/restored from allusive strange mental illness symptoms ?
Oh, we could talk about what goes on in my mind, still, at times; but I don't want to give anyone ideas :) Also, I am ashamed and even afraid to repeat certain things; but I keep trusting God to renew me and my mind, so I am more and more naturally sweet and pleasantly patient and caring >

daring to face problem people, with love; but I need to get ready in prayer, first :)
 
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com7fy8

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Yes, Extraneous > think about the good things, our successes with God. And if we know we have any sin problem >

"Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much." (James 5:16)

This means to be encouraged, not to only guilt-trip ourselves, but to face our problems and help each other. And take our sin problems to the LORD, not only let ourselves be loaded down and tortured by our faults and problems.

I just thought of this > it is possible we can get depressed about something we fear. We can face it and not fear it, with God.

So, yes most of all is to be with Jesus. And Jesus is not depressing, is He? He is the exact opposite. Though He has so suffered and been so rejected; and though He knows so much about people, how we can be wrong . . . Jesus is alive and not depressed, and He is making us alive in His love . . . with hope > love "hopes all things" (in 1 Corinthians 13:7).

So, instead of criticizing anyone, including ourselves, have hope in prayer.
 
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Extraneous

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Yes, Extraneous > think about the good things, our successes with God. And if we know we have any sin problem >

"Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much." (James 5:16)

This means to be encouraged, not to only guilt-trip ourselves, but to face our problems and help each other. And take our sin problems to the LORD, not only let ourselves be loaded down and tortured by our faults and problems.

I just thought of this > it is possible we can get depressed about something we fear. We can face it and not fear it, with God.

So, yes most of all is to be with Jesus. And Jesus is not depressing, is He? He is the exact opposite. Though He has so suffered and been so rejected; and though He knows so much about people, how we can be wrong . . . Jesus is alive and not depressed, and He is making us alive in His love . . . with hope > love "hopes all things" (in 1 Corinthians 13:7).

So, instead of criticizing anyone, including ourselves, have hope in prayer.

Yes, look at the James verse right before the one you posted. I find that praying helps, and peter teaches us to cast our cares on the Lord. Praying and waiting on the Lord help me. Depression is not about sin necessarily, and need not be confessed as if it were necessarily, but it can be Gods leading us to learn reliance on Him. All things work good for those who love God (Romans 8) We will have times of trial and tribulation in our life, and we will never be free from it, but the Lord helps us through each and every hardship.


2 Corinthians 1:8 For we do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, of our trouble which came to us in Asia: that we were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life. 9 Yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead,

Acts 14:22 strengthening the souls of the disciples, exhorting them to continue in the faith, and saying, “We must through many tribulations enter the kingdom of God.”

James 5:13 Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms

Psalm 27:14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
 
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com7fy8

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We will have times of trail
Yes, there can be the trail when there may not be a lot of excitement and action. But, instead of getting bored and lonely along what seems to be the same continuing trail, then is when we can be quiet with God and enjoy Him, and prepare in prayer for what He knows is ahead.
 
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Extraneous

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Yes, there can be the trail when there may not be a lot of excitement and action. But, instead of getting bored and lonely along what seems to be the same continuing trail, then is when we can be quiet with God and enjoy Him, and prepare in prayer for what He knows is ahead.

I meant trial, not trail. Sorry.
 
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Extraneous

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Sometimes resisting the enemies accusations against us during our moments of affliction is half the battle. We get depressed and then the enemy accuses us of lacking faith, or being a sinner, because we are depressed, and that feeds the depression more. Its like a vicious circle feeding itself. However, when we pray, cast our burden onto the Lord and wait on Him, in time the Lord strengthens us again and the enemy is defeated. That's my experience anyway. Thats what i see in Pauls words and those of David in the psalms. These men were not without affliction. None of the prophets were. James tells us to take the prophets example of suffering and follow it. He recounts the story of Job as well.
 
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com7fy8

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I meant trial, not trail. Sorry.
Well, if that was a mistake, I think it is a pretty helpful one :) There is the trail which can be a trial. For example, I have been told that ones can have more of a depression problem when it is winter and there are longer times of night, possibly when people aren't as busy with excitements and enjoyments. This can be the trial of a trail which goes on uneventfully; but someone can benefit by having peace and quiet.

Also, there can be the trail when things are not happening to solve a problem. The trail can be while the problem is not actually making trouble, but is still there. And we can be still with God and appreciate Him, and understand that there is His timing. We might need to get stronger in prayer, while a problem has not been solved.

And how we learn to handle a problem, now, can help us be ready to do better in handling things which will come later. Then we can help others, with their problems > 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. So we need to grow and go from criticism to compassion.
 
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raychael

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Well, it is good to not boast that we know what we are doing, and then just do whatever we please. But, also, be encouraged that God cares about us and is interested in personally guiding us - - -

"casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

I often do not know what to do. So, I be quiet and in prayer trust God to do what He wants with me. Also, I need to wait for however God will have things go, for me to discover. My choice making certainly does not, can not, decide what others will do and what the weather will be :)

Well, Raychael :) if you really got to know any person who has said this about you, you might discover how strange that person could be . . . if you knew every thing that is going on in someone else's head. But people can only look at how you seem to act like others or not. So, enjoy caring about others, while they might only analyze and compare your behavior.

This world is about oppression > making ones like others, so they can be controlled and used as a group. So, don't be afraid to be different :) God is our Creator, not a cloner and copier; so enjoy how God has you becoming unique and how creatively He has us loving.

We all need Jesus in us and how He has us loving. And even if we have received Christ, by trusting in Him, still we need to grow in love . . . and keep growing . . . and this with correction and maturing . . . all our lives. But as we grow, things get easier emotionally and spiritually, though things in our lives and responsibilities can become greater > the yoke is easy and the burden is light, in Jesus > Matthew 11:28-30.

I can over-think. But I am learning not to trust that analyzing which can feed on things I am assuming and do not really know :help::scratch::sorry: I can tell if I am staying with God in His peace, or not; and if I'm getting away, I can get homesick to be back with the LORD in goodness of His love and peace and joy. If I get away, I trust God to correct and restore me, then sense for how He brings me along in His peace, "and don't trust less".

There are impossible things that won't go away or seem like they won't. But that stubborn stuff is not as strong as God > "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." (in 2 Corinthians 12:7-15)

God's grace is almighty against any impossible painful shameful scary stuff. And as God changes our character, we become less and less available to being tormented by negative and nasty stuff. And we become more and more unconditionally loving, because this grace is the action of God's love in us :) So, God does not only protect us, but He perfects us in His love.

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." (1 John 4:18)

The writer of this, I think, Raychael, experienced how God's love "casts out fear" > he experienced how he had had fear and its torments, but then discovered how God's love resurrected him out of that. We all have needed the same thing. But each of us can get isolated in our own problems and trouble and feel like we are the only one, all alone. So, it is good to help one another.

What I understand now is that every personality torment is somehow connected with fear and worry. So, as we trust God to cast out our fear and worry, also the various torments go along with the fear at their root.

Thank You, God! May you benefit from growing in caring for the people you work with and ones you serve. Instead of just trying to get things done and use people, enjoy caring about anyone, appreciating each moment to be with each one. Ones can be hard and impossible, but be a strong example.

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

As we grow in love, cruel feelings and emotions have less and less effect. And with Jesus, as we learn from Him and grow > "you will find rest for your souls." (in Matthew 11:28-30)

I enjoy rain and fresh air and the scent of polar air and rain. And, like I say, more and more while I am serving, I enjoy each moment to be with anyone who is near me, asking for help, or helping me . . . not just getting things done. It is good not to take for granted any moment we can share with any Christian.

And while you are even right in the middle of doing things, possibly it can be good to take a pit stop to be still and quiet and enjoy God.

I suspect a number of people are looking for pleasure and excitement with other people. We need to be able to be quiet with God and satisfied, so we can deeply connect quietly and not get bored or lonely. Boredom and loneliness can attack us in our quietness so we fear being quiet. But God's love is gentle and quiet and we are pleasing to our Father in His love's gentleness and quietness >

"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)

I have been suicidal. And I offered to do God a favor by executing myself; but I decided to let God decide what to do with me. And I got what was like injections of love which made me become more and more immune to suicidal stuff. And I became encouraged that He did mean to do good with me.

But I have needed to grow, and I so benefit from my Jesus people who are good examples for me, of how to be with God and how to relate with compassion for any and all people. I used to be much more critical of people; so in my case, my suicidal criticizing could have been me reaping against myself what I had been sowing against others. We can be reaping emotionally because of what we have been sowing.

suicidally so

But what is indeed impossible for us is what God is able to do, easily and breezily and beautifully, even. But this, I now consider, can come with time, not a quick fix. We need correction . . . all of us do > Hebrews 12:4-11. Others can be sitting around, pointing at you, saying oh you are different and the weak or strange one; but they can be deeply weak so they could get into major trouble. So, have compassion on ones who do not know how to love you. And our compassion and forgiveness makes us strong so we can't keep being under the power of people who are wrong.

Oh, we could talk about what goes on in my mind, still, at times; but I don't want to give anyone ideas :) Also, I am ashamed and even afraid to repeat certain things; but I keep trusting God to renew me and my mind, so I am more and more naturally sweet and pleasantly patient and caring >

daring to face problem people, with love; but I need to get ready in prayer, first :)

Thank you so much, for thinking of how I felt and for replying to my ramblings quote by quote,
a lot of the time it helps to just have people care, and listen..that means a lot thanks again.
I hope you're feeling better lately, its hard for me to 'step out' of the dark parts of my life with ease and get cheery and happy towards life,..God.. without love with too much fear, especially at night, its tiring, and it gets very hard to have faith. Hope at best is where I'm always at..
I miss Gods love, and closeness in our relationship.. I don't understand why he's being so silent and seems to 'leave' me or become silent at the worst time.. I don't understand him much at all being honest.
I hope you feel better in terms of feeling suicide,that's never the answer, there's always hope. I believe there's always hope as long as you're alive.
 
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com7fy8

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@raychael Good morning, Raychael :) It is so good to see you; God bless you :)

Thank you for the encouragement . . . prayer for you :)

I have been doing well, thanks to God. I and my lady friend and her truck are getting older; it is about time to say goodbye to the truck which has years of experience on Maine and Massachusetts salted roads and looks it. So, I have been encouraging her to pray and do what God has her do, so that whatever choices we make, with God, we will be satisfied and expect the best we can have with Him and loving others.

And when our mechanic's supervisor offered us more than the dollar or the twenty-five dollars that a Net place and a phone person did, I confronted him about if it really was worth . . . $200. He said if it is her he is doing business with, it is fine :) That was not an intellectual and analytical answer; so that was a good one for me to feed on. But we need to love and care about those we do business with, not to only use anyone. I think we can sink because of not caring about others, and only using others . . . having our hope in people and how we can handle things, instead of having hope in God.

Love "hopes all things" (in 1 Corinthians 13:7).
 
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miss-a

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I want you to know that there is hope. I went from planning my own suicide to being one of the happiest people I know. I am truly healed, but I also do still take a small dose of antidepressant. I think I'll be able to stop one day, but I'm not sure. I have no side effects from the dose, so it really doesn't matter if I can go off them. In my case, the meds bring me up to to the level of normal. My body has not remembered how to do that yet. It stopped producing enough serotonin in early childhood due to the fear and stress I felt, living in an unsafe household. I know the Lord can fully heal my body. I also know I play a part in that. I exercise and eat whole and organic foods and make sure I get proper rest. But the one thing I can't seem to control is this stressful world. And stress hormones impede the production of serotonin. So my guess is I may need to stay on my low dose until I don't have to work so much in this stressful world. But I'm still healed, still happy, and sooooo grateful that the Lord has made a way for me to be normal and happy after decades of agony.
 
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Jeshu

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I want you to know that there is hope. I went from planning my own suicide to being one of the happiest people I know. I am truly healed, but I also do still take a small dose of antidepressant. I think I'll be able to stop one day, but I'm not sure. I have no side effects from the dose, so it really doesn't matter if I can go off them. In my case, the meds bring me up to to the level of normal. My body has not remembered how to do that yet. It stopped producing enough serotonin in early childhood due to the fear and stress I felt, living in an unsafe household. I know the Lord can fully heal my body. I also know I play a part in that. I exercise and eat whole and organic foods and make sure I get proper rest. But the one thing I can't seem to control is this stressful world. And stress hormones impede the production of serotonin. So my guess is I may need to stay on my low dose until I don't have to work so much in this stressful world. But I'm still healed, still happy, and sooooo grateful that the Lord has made a way for me to be normal and happy after decades of agony.

What He has done for you, He has and is doing for me, a deeply thankful heart in my chest to throb.

And not only that, and I think you might relate to this as well, vast treasures my depression left behind. Hard spots have turned to diamond mines and other precious stones. Jesus has brought me to an awesome place - where the desert blooms.

Ezekiel 47:1-12
The man brought me back to the entrance to the temple, and I saw water coming out from under the threshold of the temple toward the east (for the temple faced east). The water was coming down from under the south side of the temple, south of the altar. He then brought me out through the north gate and led me around the outside to the outer gate facing east, and the water was trickling from the south side.

As the man went eastward with a measuring line in his hand, he measured off a thousand cubits and then led me through water that was ankle-deep. He measured off another thousand cubits and led me through water that was knee-deep. He measured off another thousand and led me through water that was up to the waist. He measured off another thousand, but now it was a river that I could not cross, because the water had risen and was deep enough to swim in—a river that no one could cross. He asked me, “Son of man, do you see this?”

Then he led me back to the bank of the river. When I arrived there, I saw a great number of trees on each side of the river. 8 He said to me, “This water flows toward the eastern region and goes down into the Arabah, where it enters the Dead Sea. When it empties into the sea, the salty water there becomes fresh. Swarms of living creatures will live wherever the river flows. There will be large numbers of fish, because this water flows there and makes the salt water fresh; so where the river flows everything will live. Fishermen will stand along the shore; from En Gedi to En Eglaim there will be places for spreading nets. The fish will be of many kinds—like the fish of the Mediterranean Sea. But the swamps and marshes will not become fresh; they will be left for salt. Fruit trees of all kinds will grow on both banks of the river. Their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail. Every month they will bear fruit, because the water from the sanctuary flows to them. Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing.”
 
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