How long is enough???

[tonya]

How long is enough? Until God says enough! You are right...you have your own personal relationship with God and you ultimately have to answer to Him..I have some convictions in my own life...others might not agree with them..but that is between me an God..I feel like I am doing what he has aked of me...Anyways..keep praying...keep you head up...6 months seems like a long time..it is not..it has been almost 8 for me..I can keep waiting!

 

[~Nikki~]

Forgiveness has nothing to do with divorce. You can forgive an alcoholic, you wouldn't let him work in a bar after. There are consequences to sin, even after forgiveness. Not always, but usually. King David was forgiven, but look at his life after.

You're right, there are consequences to sin that end up having to be lived with for a long time, perhaps a person's entire lifetime.

However, assuming that marriage is a picture of God's relationship with His people (and bearing in mind that's it's God's purpose to make us more Christlike; so we should do what He would do), does this mean that they can repent and turn to Him, and that following their repentance He'll forgive them but not let them come back into relationship with Him?

 

[Yitzchak]

It is amazing to me how many people will say they have forgiven and still seem bitter. The bible says in matthew chapter 7 that the measure we measure with , it shall be measured to us. So I guess the deal is if we give half hearted forgiveness and half hearted conditional love then that is what we can expect from others and most of what we can expect from God.

This makes perfect sense to me since I have both experienced it personally and seen it in others. When we harden our hearts towards others we prevent intimcay in all of our relationships. When we refuse to love or we love half hearted or to use a convicting biblical word we love lukewarm. Then we are able to receive love from others and even from God in that same measure.

The thing about lukewarmness is that it is neither hot nor cold. We see people who are cold in their love, and are hateful and bitter. We see others who are hot and are almost too loving. Then we have that lukewarm crowd in the middle. they don't really totally hate their ex but they don't love them either.

Something to think about. What type of love do we want to be loved with? We judge others often for the same sins we commit ourselves. And then use those judgements to justify lukewarm love towards them.

 

[Svt4Him]

You're right, there are consequences to sin that end up having to be lived with for a long time, perhaps a person's entire lifetime.

However, assuming that marriage is a picture of God's relationship with His people (and bearing in mind that's it's God's purpose to make us more Christlike; so we should do what He would do), does this mean that they can repent and turn to Him, and that following their repentance He'll forgive them but not let them come back into relationship with Him?

Marriage is not God's relationship with Israel, and it is over-simplistic to say it is, or to say it's just a covenant. Marriage are two becoming one. God is not one with Israel. Israel was and is God's chosen people, and God does use marriage as a prophetic act once in the Bible, but to say all marriage is like God and His people is not correct.

And who, Yitzchak, seems bitter? To say one can get a divorce doesn't make one bitter. And to be cold is not a bad thing, God only spits the luke-warm people out. Cold is an idiom.

 

[Yitzchak]

And who, Yitzchak, seems bitter? To say one can get a divorce doesn't make one bitter. And to be cold is not a bad thing, God only spits the luke-warm people out. Cold is an idiom.

Many divorced people seem bitter and I might as well add many married people as well. If you want to make a list, be my guest. My point is that there is a whole lot of denial going on in the christian community when it comes to anger and bitterness. It is the denial that keeps it from ever being dealt with or healed.
The beauty of God's system is you will reap what you sow not what your good intentions wish for. If we sow lukewarm love and/or forgiveness then we will reap measure for measure what we have sown.
If you have sown well, then be encouraged , if not then consider changing before you reap even more of what you have sown. People wonder and question why they seem to receive so little love and acceptance.
So to answer your question directly. If the shoe fits , then wear it. If not keep searching for the right size.

 

[bkg]

My point is that there is a whole lot of denial going on in the christian community when it comes to anger and bitterness. It is the denial that keeps it from ever being dealt with or healed.
The beauty of God's system is you will reap what you sow not what your good intentions wish for. If we sow lukewarm love and/or forgiveness then we will reap measure for measure what we have sown.
If you have sown well, then be encouraged , if not then consider changing before you reap even more of what you have sown. People wonder and question why they seem to receive so little love and acceptance.
So to answer your question directly. If the shoe fits , then wear it. If not keep searching for the right size.

PHENOMINAL POST!!! Well said, and oh so true!

 

[heartnsoul]

It is amazing to me how many people will say they have forgiven and still seem bitter. The bible says in matthew chapter 7 that the measure we measure with , it shall be measured to us. So I guess the deal is if we give half hearted forgiveness and half hearted conditional love then that is what we can expect from others and most of what we can expect from God.

This makes perfect sense to me since I have both experienced it personally and seen it in others. When we harden our hearts towards others we prevent intimcay in all of our relationships. When we refuse to love or we love half hearted or to use a convicting biblical word we love lukewarm. Then we are able to receive love from others and even from God in that same measure.

The thing about lukewarmness is that it is neither hot nor cold. We see people who are cold in their love, and are hateful and bitter. We see others who are hot and are almost too loving. Then we have that lukewarm crowd in the middle. they don't really totally hate their ex but they don't love them either.

Something to think about. What type of love do we want to be loved with? We judge others often for the same sins we commit ourselves. And then use those judgements to justify lukewarm love towards them.

Excellent post! I am amazed also how some people have forgotten about what really is the *power* of God. The *power* is LOVE. It is only when we finally realize that God is a LOVING God, that we will truly begin to understand the power of God and the true meaning of compassion.

 

[Svt4Him]

What's equally amazing is that people forget to love those who have gone through something as horrible as a divorce. I have seen more 'christians' turn their noses up and give advice in the name of G-d that has no love in it whatsoever.

 

[Leanna]

How long is enough?

A little bit longer.

Day by day. Don't quit yet, pray.

 

[Svt4Him]

How can you say that? How do you know if it must be longer?

 

[bkg]

How can you say that? How do you know if it must be longer?

How do you know that it must not be?

 

[Svt4Him]

I didn't say it must or must not. So as much as it may sound the same, it's not.

 

[Leanna]

Because I read his thread in the separated forum. And its alqays better to wait a bit longer before doing something emotionally drastic.

 

[Yitzchak]

None of us can say how long is enough. 4 months is an awfully short time to completely end a marriage though.

I am praying for you in your situation.