OhhJim said:
What assumptions do you see me making in my post? Feel free to quote me.
That wasn't intended to be any kind of insult or attack. I'll try to explain what I mean:
1. A question about your question, would the couple be aware he was going to die the next day? If yes then I think that would lead to something that would be worked out in the relationship. I think they would either reconsider whether marriage is the best way to spend those final moments or they would decide to go ahead feeling that their love deserved to fully carried out before they parted.
I do remember a story about a young couple that got engaged and on their honeymoon he was carrying his new bride up the stairs to their room and she died right there in his arms (a brain hemorage or something like that). That must have led to incredible pain on his part, but would any of us regret that? I don't think I would, I think that through the pain I would seek to praise God for giving me that wonderful gift even if only for that short time.
You may also want to see if you can find some info on Jeremy Camp and what happened with his first wife who died very young. I don't remember the full story, but as I understand it he is thankful for the time he did have her and it formed who he is today.
2. If you've married then you have committed to that person and God would expect us to not only accept that situation, but praise Him for it. Jacob did not intend to marry Leah, but when Jacob favored Rachel over Leah God showed favor to Leah by allowing her to have sons and closing Rachel's womb. Things don't always work out like they are supposed to, but God does not see an opportunity lost, He see's a chance to display His Glory in a place where good appears to have failed.
3. I have learned not to have regrets in life, I am who I am because of what I have been through, good or bad. I praise God for the good and I praise Him for redeeming the bad. Though I have yet to find a wife, I know that my failed pursuits in the past have led to a great deal of growth in my relationship with God. For that I praise God, in my pursuit of women I found Jesus and fell in love with Him. Nothing to regret there
4. Nothing matters and everything matters. I am no one and I am the beloved. God's plan will be carried out and His Glory made known to all creation, every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Christ is Lord to the Glory of God. Nothing I do will change that for better or worse. Yet I am a part of God's plan for revealing His Glory and there are no small parts in that task. I don't believe that anything that happens is wasted, God has a purpose to each thing that happens. I especially believe that marriage is something that God uses in a powerful way in people's lives.
To your overall question, the answer is "yes". To that young man whose bride died in his arms the night of his wedding I believe that it impacted his life as deeply as my grandparents who have been married for 55 years. Love changes lives and God works out His purpose through the things that happen in our lives. What would define fantastic for one day of marriage, lots of warm fuzzy feelings? What would define ok for a 50 year marriage? If a couple has remained committed to each other in a God honoring marriage for 50 years I believe that in itself defines it as fantastic. The love of a man who gives up going to the football game with his buddies to stay home with his sick wife is greater than what a man feels on his honeymoon. It's a love founded on a deep committment that goes beyond feelings, that's a God honoring love. Yet the man who loses his wife after one day knows a love that touches to the bottom of his soul and it will change the rest of his life.
A comment on the comment about knowing few Christian leaders who are not married. As I've looked at the modern church today and as I've looked at the missional role that Paul played I've arrived at the conclusion that we need to have a better understanding of the context of Paul's praise of singleness (there's actually a good case for him being a widower). As you look over the life of Paul you see he was always on the move and always in danger of his life. His situation is one that would be highly difficult to be married in. Now let's examine the role of the modern day Christian leader. Most stay in once place, most have a home, most lead a flock of people of both sexes who are on a fairly equal level. I would challenge that a married couple who are fully devoted to serving Christ are actually able to accomplish more for the Kingdom than they could seperately. This isn't always the case, but bear with me. In the modern church we end up ministering to people of both sexes and married couples. I lead a house church and as a single person I find it a challenge to minister in a lot of ways to married couples because I have no experience, no understanding, no credibility for telling them how to live out their marriage. I can hand them Bible fun facts, but what I say carries little weight. Also, having a close relationship with a woman allows me to understand women better so when ministering to them I understand them better. Beyond that, if I have a wife that I can direct these women to her and am able to keep a safer relationship with women in the church. If no ministry leaders had families they wouldn't have a connection with parents in the PTO, Boy Scouts, soccer clubs, baseball teams, 4-H, and a million other things that generally only parents do. A God honoring marriage can be a very powerful ministry and can reach people who would not be very well reached by single people. Now conversly God needs older single people, divorced people, etc to reach those elements of the lost world and to be able to minister to people in that place in life. We are all different parts of the body, ours is not to debate what the most useful part is, but to be useful as the part God has made us to be.
I do think Paul's challenge is still valid, but we also have to consider the place God has called us to serve in. There are still many ministry situations where it is better to be single.
I hope none of us just sit and wait on anything. We have been called to be faithful where God has us and trust Him for anything beyond. I'm quite content as a single person right now. I still desire a wife, but until God sends one my way I'm going to seek to be a faithful servant where I am.
