How long do you wait to tell?

[Picture.Of.Obedience]

We told everyone right away the first time and lost the baby. The second time we told everyone at 14 weeks, just b/c we lost our first at 13 weeks, we at least wanted to get past that. This one now we told everyone at about 4 months.
I know it would have been nice to know they were all praying for the pregnancies, but we had such a bad expierence with our first loss.... we couldnt deal with it

 

[~Mrs. A2J~]

Its cool to hear so many people say they told soon.... I was just wondering because I've heard such mixed reviews. I think part of the thing about not telling everyone until you are farther along is because you don't feel like answering the questions if there is a miscarriage, at least that's how I would feel. People would ask how the baby was, and you'd have to answer. People who are only a friend of a friend might run into you in the grocery store and have not heard yet, all of this would cause you to relive losing your baby. So for that reason I don't know that I will tell everyone real soon, just family and people who wouldn't ask me two months later about the baby who is gone. But it is really hard not to tell because its so exciting too, so I understand.

This is the way I feel. I would prefer to grieve in private and not have everyone know what is going on with me.

 

[lin1235]

When we found out I was pregnant we didn't really comprehend how real the risk of miscarriage was - I didn't really know anybody who had miscarried (as far as I knew, anyway). So we told a lot of people, all close friends and asked them not to spread the word.

And then within 3 weeks we heard about SO MANY miscarriages. My cousin, 2 couples in our group of friends, etc. My cousin told everybody immediately and she didn't regret it (although she said she felt foolish having to go back just one week later to tell the bad news), but the support system was great for her. My baby is still doing fine, thank God (I'm almost 16 weeks now).

I do think with a next pregnancy we might wait a little longer - probably if you already have a baby it's easier to keep the news in? But it's important to me that my support group should know, I'll need people to understand even if I grieve in private.

 

[InTheFlame]

Church family we told straight away. The support network was great when we miscarried... I'd do it this way again. Our church is quite small, of course, so that news travels fast.

 

[nursejess]

Its cool to hear so many people say they told soon.... I was just wondering because I've heard such mixed reviews. I think part of the thing about not telling everyone until you are farther along is because you don't feel like answering the questions if there is a miscarriage, at least that's how I would feel. People would ask how the baby was, and you'd have to answer. People who are only a friend of a friend might run into you in the grocery store and have not heard yet, all of this would cause you to relive losing your baby. So for that reason I don't know that I will tell everyone real soon, just family and people who wouldn't ask me two months later about the baby who is gone. But it is really hard not to tell because its so exciting too, so I understand.

When we miscarried our first baby at 14 weeks, we had only told a few close family and friends. So, everyone found out about the miscarriage, but there were still some people who asked me when I was going to have kids and I'd tell them everything anyways. So, I told my good friends and some family right away this time. Everyone's going to know if I miscarry anyways, so they might as well know now and then they can pray things turn out well.

 

[Linnis]

*Bump*

 

[seamonster]

I told everyone on message boards when I found out (4 weeks). We told my parents at 5 weeks, and their parents at 12 weeks.

 

[jessi22]

baby #1 6 week
baby #2 5 week
baby #3 12 week

 

[white dove]

I told a select few as soon as I found out. I needed all the support I could get! Since then, I've told more people but have yet to tell all of my family and friends. I'm waiting until my first ultrasound.