How long did you date before you got engaged/married?

[ShiningSonBeam]

I met my husband online 7 years before we met in person. His computer crashed early on so I started writing letters. Once he started writing back consistently, it only took about 3 months before he flew out to meet me (although it was over the phone that he said if he ever got married, he'd want it to be with me -- not quite what I call a proposal, but it's what he meant). We spent a week in May of 2000 on my side of the country (CA), spent about that long in July in Alabama (when he purchased the ring), and married in April 2001. So, we were formally engaged for 9 months. He moved out here only 4 months before the wedding, which made it extremely difficult... everyone looks at the lonely bride like she's fooling herself. But we've been together nearly 6 wonderful years.

His name on CF is KnowBeDo and he's got our story pretty well synopsized on his profile. If I were advising someone in my shoes, I'd say she should date him in all seasons in the same town (that means at least 12 months) before getting engaged. That's what our pastor suggested (he thought we should postpone the wedding until the Fall to give it more time) but we were certain... and we weren't getting any younger! I married at 29 and he at 33.

 

[AngylBelle]

We knew eachother for 12-13 years before dating, dated about a year and a half before we got engaged, and were engaged just under a year before we got married. It was suppose to be about 7 months but the date didn't work out, then it was suppose to be about 14 months, but due to interferences with my MIL inviting more than 60 people to our wedding of 8, we moved the wedding up 2/3 months to last February, hopped on a plane to Jamaica, and had a wedding-moon, with immediate family and 8 of MIL's invitee's that could afford to come. It was extremely stressful since it all ended up being put together is about 2 weeks, but worked out in the end.

 

[Cordy]

We started dating, got engaged and married in *just* over a year.

 

[lin1235]

Well I seem to be the odd one out... we dated for 7 years, engaged for 9 months before we got married! The 7 years dating was not purely by choice... first 4 years we were both studying, couldn't get married as neither of us had an income. Then it was long distance for 3 years (he got a job in another city) while I finished my studies, and we got married 3 months after he moved back to the city we now live in.

I guess such a long dating time is not ideal, but I wouldn't change anything, our marriage is just wonderful.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

I met Brad in Jan 2002, and we were married in 2006.

July 2003 - started considering Brad as a 'potential boyfriend'. Took a friend into confidence, who became my mentor. Prayed, talked with her, really saw him without rose coloured glasses.

May 2004 (10 months later) - Told Brad what I had been doing. Asked if he would prayerfully consider a relationship - but we would take 4 months out together to think about this and discuss things BEFORE starting dating. He agreed. Basically did the equivalent of premarital counselling over the next four months.

September 2004 (4 months after conversation) - decided to date.

August 2005 - Engaged

April 2006 - married.

The only thing in that I would have changed was our engagement period. 6-8 weeks would have been fine.

I'd advise our approach to anyone - irrespective of whether they were considering marriage or not.

Sasch

 

[michaelishere]

From the time my wife and I started dating, until our wedding was just 3 months.

While I think Sascha's method may be a little longer than needed, I definitely would recommend at least one year of really getting to know each other first. I also really like Sascha's idea of getting a close friend to help advise and pray with you.

Love can be so blind, especially in the first few weeks of a relationship. If I had to do it all over again, I would have slooooooowed way down!

 

[Savedthroughfaith]

We dated for 9 months before we were married. But we had known each other for about 5 years.

 

[Daisy321]

Together a year and got married.
The best decision ever made.

 

[Oblivious]

We dated 3 months before we were engaged; then got married 6 months after that.

 

[Chan1976]

We dated for 1 year and 5 months before we were engaged (1 year being long distance.. we probably would have gotten engaged sooner if not for that), and got married 7 months after that.

 

[bluebug83]

Dated for 2 1/2 years before getting engaged. Engaged for 9 months before getting married.

We would have been fine getting married the day after our engagement, but weddings take some time to plan, and I didn't want to get married in the winter (and yes, we wanted a "real" wedding). I would have also been OK getting engaged slightly sooner than when we did, but I made a rule for myself that I wouldn't get engaged until after I finished college. I wanted to devote my time/energy to enjoying that unique life experience (college) without cutting it short by wedding plans or married life.

 

[Beth1231]

We courted for a year and a half before getting engaged. We were engaged all of three months. I would maybe take an extra month or two in engagement if I could do it over again. Simply because I was in my senior year in college and it was pretty stressful to get everything done in three months!

 

[ItalianAngel]

Thank you, everyone for your replies.

It's nice to see the various spans of dating/engagement periods. I guess what it all comes down to is what each couple believes is best for them.

 

[dancingwithhim]

Hello all,

I'm sure this question probably has been asked before..

I was curious to know how long you and your spouse dated before you got engaged and how long after that did you get married?

Also if you could go back and do it over again, would you have done anything differently (spent more or less time in the dating and/or engagement period)?

I'm looking forward to everyone's answers!

blessings,
~Michele

My husband and I were best friends for 6 months before we dated. When we finally started to date, we told each other that we did want to marry each other. A year and a half later, we were married. We have been married for 11 and a half wonderful years.
I wouldn't change a thing. We made God number one of our relationship and everything fell into place. God's timing is everything and the timing was perfect!

 

[heatherq17]

2 years

 

[Cordy]

While I think Sascha's method may be a little longer than needed, I definitely would recommend at least one year of really getting to know each other first. I also really like Sascha's idea of getting a close friend to help advise and pray with you.

I think you make a good point, but the length of dating can be deceiving. Not everyone just starts to get to know someone when they are dating. I was good friends with my husband for quite a while before we entered a romantic relationship. I knew I was going to marry him when we were just friends.

 

[gracepaints]

My husband and I were best friends for a year and a half, dated for two years and were engaged for an additional year. It wasn't ideal, but we were in school and then needed to find jobs. If not for that, I think we would have gotten married within our first year of dating.

For the record, I've known two short (or no) courtship relationships that ended in happy marriages. My friends K and H got engaged on their first date, 5 weeks after they met. They've been married 6 years now. Another couple A and R, never dated. They were best friends and one day, he just said that he thought they should get married and she agreed! They've been married for 8 years and have 3 children.

 

[Zoomer]

We dated for 6 months before we married.

 

[outhwaar]

We dated for 8 months before we got engaged. Our families thought that was really quick, but looking at these posts, it seems we were dragging our feet. We got married a year after getting engaged. I wouldn't change anything.

 

[PegasusOnFire]

we didn't date before we got engaged, but we were really good friends, and then two years after we were engaged we got married. I would do it al the same again if I had to.