How long before a marriage is considered successful?

How long before a marriage is assumed to last?

  • Immediately

    Votes: 1 8.3%
  • 5+ years

    Votes: 1 8.3%
  • 10+ years

    Votes: 2 16.7%
  • 25+ years

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • 50+ years

    Votes: 2 16.7%
  • Never

    Votes: 6 50.0%

  • Total voters
    12

evoeth

Man trying to figure things out
Mar 5, 2014
1,658
2,063
✟129,557.00
Faith
Atheist
Marital Status
Married
While I'm not polyamorous, my polyamorous friends have convinced me of one thing:

The measure of a good relationship is not its length. If the length of the relationship is your goal, you're going to have a bad relationship.

Similarly, "success" is not a relationship lasting to your death. I've seen plenty of marriages and relationships where both partners would have been better off with other people or apart, and I think it likely that you have to.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

ValleyGal

Well-Known Member
Dec 19, 2012
5,775
1,829
✟114,245.00
Country
Canada
Faith
Anabaptist
Marital Status
Divorced
I don't think it's the length of the marriage that defines success. It is a success as long as it's working for both people. And even then, perception matters. One may perceive things as working relatively well and practices excellent relationship skills, while the other might be withdrawing, tagging along, while reading negativity into the marriage and into the spouse's intentions, and ruminating, becoming more bitter, then withdrawing even more - while the spouse doesn't even know there is something wrong. So the marriage can appear as though it's working for one, is definitely not working for the other, but still works because they live together relatively peacefully. At what point does that marriage fail to work?

Advice? Maybe both have good advice, but obviously one is not practicing what they preach. It takes two to make it work. Anyone can give advice - even wise advice. Not everyone who gives advice makes it work in their own marriage.

I chatted with a friend when I was in college with the goal of becoming LMFT. I expressed my doubts about my career goal because I was divorced (a few times). My friend says that he would rather take advice from me because I learned about marriage the hard way, and I also had the book knowledge. People who have been married for a long time may not be able to pinpoint the reasons their marriage works. I thought it was an interesting take on it. I never did finish with LMFT, but all I learned both in school and in life has been invaluable in my current work with families.... even if not in my personal life.
 
Upvote 0

OceanPoet87

Husband 'N Wifi
Feb 7, 2012
222
88
Near Lewiston, ID
✟13,911.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
A successful marriage is one in which the couple feels safe with each other and places Christ in the center. The years don't matter. Now, I see what you mean about popular perception. In that case, 10 years. But a couple who seek God together first and serve each other 2nd (above all other things) is one recipe for success in most marriage.
 
Upvote 0