I agree that our histories and family dysfunction set us on a course of searching, then when we found Christ, we thought all those backlashes of poor beginnings would somehow fade away instantly. But, as was the case for most of us, those burdens didn't simply disappear because we spoke a few words heavenward.
In my seach, I spent time studying and applying the insights of John Bradshaw, especially his writings on family dysfunction, influences still at work that are lasting and extremely difficult to replace or dissolve into nothing, and what is today known as inner child work. Change took place in me, but still, to this day, my family of origin cannot gather with one another without the chaos and madness that has accompanied our family for decades.
Just because we meet folks who believe in Jesus and talk similarly, we think we have found a home; but when a new kind of disillusionment and chaos sprouts out of of extremism and error, we are again faced with doing our best to flee the worst and hold on to the best. It's a cycle that never ends. In many ways, the dysfunction within the church is as prominent and pervasive as the dysfunction within families, so it can, for many of us, be hard to call the Church "home," as it too needs restoration, cleaning and the ridding of personalities and doctrinal errors that have led countless brothers and sisters into a kind of existential meaninglessness that isn't easy to overcome.
We say, "stop the world, I want off (or out of it)" when we realize the side effects of secularism, but there comes a time when we seem to desperately need to stop involvement in anything organized within the church world. The balance is surely a challenge to uncover.
