How important is respect and obedience in a wife?

[Autumnleaf]

I heard something recently about authority (from Romans....correct me if I'm relaying it improperly).....that only those UNDER authority...HAVE authority.......as along with that, trust is formed, and authority flows from trust....trust flows from truth. Even Jesus credited His authority to the Father.

Do we have authority over God since we are under his authority?

 

[mkgal1]

Do we have authority over God since we are under his authority?

Obviously, I didn't relay that thought very well.

What I meant was....all authority flows down from God, and those that are in submission to Him, then have that. If someone steps out from being under submission to Him....they have lost that authority---they are going their own way...and the sense of trust is lost.

 

[hijklmnop]

Obviously, I didn't relay that thought very well.

What I meant was....all authority flows down from God, and those that are in submission to Him, then have that. If someone steps out from being under submission to Him....they have lost that authority---they are going their own way...and the sense of trust is lost.

I agree with this...as a wife I would not follow my husband's leadership if he was leading me away from God and not actively seeking the Lord's will in his and in our family's life. When I believe that he is, I am much more likely to be his willing partner, as our big-picture goals will be the same and we are ultimately looking to the same authority for guidance.

 

[mkgal1]

I agree with this...as a wife I would not follow my husband's leadership if he was leading me away from God and not actively seeking the Lord's will in his and in our family's life. When I believe that he is, I am much more likely to be his willing partner, as our big-picture goals will be the same and we are ultimately looking to the same authority for guidance.

That's it.......we can sense (or SHOULD sense, anyway) when someone is pulling us away from God. That's what I find as so telling, how the modern theology wants to get us away from feelings, and is all about "doing the right thing". Ignoring feelings is exactly what allows deception to occur....and then you have TWO people away from God. That is just why the Bible tells us that two are stronger than one.....if one falls (and that can be EITHER spouse)....the other will be there to help them back up.

 

[Romanseight2005]

Ultimate example of a real man is Jesus. And as much as this will be denied I guarantee that most women would not be happy being married to someone who accurately reflects all aspects of Jesus nature. Sure they all want the sacrificial love part but that's by no means all or even most of who He was/is. As soon as we start talking about the direct or confrontational part of Jesus nature we get all sorts of "reasons" why we can't be that way ranging from the plainly false notion that Jesus was that way only rarely or as a last resort, to "we don't have His perfect discernment so we can't know when we should act that way."

The talk of wielding authority like a spoiled child though tells me that I'm already being heard as saying something that hasn't even been brought up so I'm out. Have fun.

The bold part is extremely ironic to me. I don;t think that many women take issue with a confrontational man. What does happen quite regularly, however, is that people including women, due to social engineering, take HUGE issues with a woman being confrontational. Remember, Christ isn't just who men are to mirror. Christ is also who women are to mirror, as well.

 

[hijklmnop]

The bold part is extremely ironic to me. I don;t think that many women take issue with a confrontational man. What does happen quite regularly, however, is that people including women, due to social engineering, take HUGE issues with a woman being confrontational. Remember, Christ isn't just who men are to mirror. Christ is also who women are to mirror, as well.

Oohh...excellent point!

 

[chaz345]

The bold part is extremely ironic to me. I don;t think that many women take issue with a confrontational man. What does happen quite regularly, however, is that people including women, due to social engineering, take HUGE issues with a woman being confrontational. Remember, Christ isn't just who men are to mirror. Christ is also who women are to mirror, as well.

Within the Church, direct and confrontational are seen as negatives or as a last resort thing no matter who is doing it. The reality is that in today's American Church, only one side of Christ is taught, the soft, meek, "feminine" side of Him.

 

[mkgal1]

Who says, "meekness" is femine, though? What is your definition of "meekness"....Chaz?

Who says Jesus was even "soft"? I wouldn't use that term....loving, but not "soft".

 

[Romanseight2005]

Who says, "meekness" is femine, though? What is your definition of "meekness"....Chaz?

Who says Jesus was even "soft"? I wouldn't use that term....loving, but not "soft".

That's an excellent point! That meekness is seen as feminine is actually a cultural definition, not a biblical one.

 

[mkgal1]

Exactly. Wasn't it Moses that was credited as being the "meekest man"? Reading about Moses's life, I wouldn't equate him with feminine.

ETA: It was Moses....I just looked it up...

Now the man Moses was very meek, above all the men which were upon the face of the earth. – Numbers 12:3 (KJV)

 

[Romanseight2005]

Exactly. Wasn't it Moses that was credited as being the "meekest man"? Reading about Moses's life, I wouldn't equate him with feminine.

ETA: It was Moses....I just looked it up...

Right. What's the opposite of meekness? Would it be pride? Pride is not masculine or feminine, it's sinful. If one is not meek, they are proud. There is no middle ground with that.

 

[k450ofu3k-gh-5ipe]

Meekness is strength under control. So the opposite of meekness would be strength out of control. Or basically a lack of self control.

 

[Romanseight2005]

Meekness is strength under control. So the opposite of meekness would be strength out of control. Or basically a lack of self control.

I would agree with that. would you not agree that strength out of control is usually coupled with pride?

 

[Catherineanne]

I heard something recently about authority (from Romans....correct me if I'm relaying it improperly).....that only those UNDER authority...HAVE authority.......as along with that, trust is formed, and authority flows from trust....trust flows from truth. Even Jesus credited His authority to the Father.

This makes sense to me. I am more than happy to submit to the authority of my priest (my h is dead), as long as I know that my priest is himself under the authority of the bishop, and the Church, and ultimately, of course, under Christ.

I won't submit to anyone else in the same way. I no longer submit to my dad's authority, partly for the above reason; he is not himself under anyone's authority, and his parenting style when we were small was bullying and authoritiarian. I am not at all interested in submitting to any form of bullying whatever.

Therefore, respect and obedience go together; without respect you may get compliant behaviour, but that is not the same thing as willing obedience.

 

[mkgal1]

Therefore, respect and obedience go together; without respect you may get compliant behaviour, but that is not the same thing as willing obedience.

Very important distinction there.

 

[mkgal1]

I would agree with that. would you not agree that strength out of control is usually coupled with pride?

Besides the control part being the missing element.....the other missing element could be the strength. So, you could have weakness........which is often equated with "meekness".....but, it's actually the opposite.

Since hardly anyone wants to display their weakness to the world...out of pride.....weakness is masqueraded as something else---aggression. It's all entangled.....like a ball of yarn.....because, often..."aggression" or an overblown ego...both are equated to strength. Again.....another opposite.

 

[Romanseight2005]

Besides the control part being the missing element.....the other missing element could be the strength. So, you could have weakness........which is often equated with "meekness".....but, it's actually the opposite.

Since hardly anyone wants to display their weakness to the world...out of pride.....weakness is masqueraded as something else---aggression. It's all entangled.....like a ball of yarn.....because, often..."aggression" is equated to strength. Again.....another opposite.

Very good points!

 

[Catherineanne]

Besides the control part being the missing element.....the other missing element could be the strength. So, you could have weakness........which is often equated with "meekness".....but, it's actually the opposite.

Since hardly anyone wants to display their weakness to the world...out of pride.....weakness is masqueraded as something else---aggression. It's all entangled.....like a ball of yarn.....because, often..."aggression" is equated to strength. Again.....another opposite.

I had a similar conversation with my priest, who got a bit bothered when he saw how willing I was to defer to other people, and do what they wanted. I explained that serving others is not a sign of weakness, but of ability. He does not preside over the Eucharist because he is rubbish at it, but because he is the best person there, ordained by God to serve.

Therefore, Christ's words make sense. He who wants to lead, must do so by serving those around him. It makes no difference how we serve, the important thing is that we learn how to do it. Husbands must serve their wives, and wives their husbands, and both serve their children. A constant giving of ourselves, without counting the cost.

 

[mkgal1]

Meekness is strength under control. So the opposite of meekness would be strength out of control. Or basically a lack of self control.

The other "control" is God-controlled, instead of self-controlled. IOW...to be completely submitted to God...and that is just what Jesus was ("I do nothing apart from my Father's will").....just where our aim SHOULD be.

So, I don't understand what would be wrong if that were the ONLY part of Jesus that was taught. Doesn't that sum it all up nicely?

 

[EmmaCat]

The whole thing about being a wife is discernment. Sometimes it's our job to to be quiet and listen, sometimes to fuss and set hubbies straight. Never give in when you know something is right to do. My hubby wanted to fix the sliding glass door later, in the spring, and I said, "Absolutely NOT! If you're not going to fix it, I will!"

It was fixed in two days. Pick your battles, and don't put up with junk. Believe me, life is too short. That's how stuff works.

All good things
Emmy