Thanks Ted, I honestly feel that I have felt the Holy Spirit come upon me and I wept for Christ. I never read the bible and I was not going to church, this is such an illogical faith for me, that I can't see the bible like others but I'm sure God touched me in some way.
I have been trying to make sense of it all but I can't. It's why I'm so curious about scripture.
To make matters worse I have an aversion to reading the bible as I think it's boring, it just doesn't make sense that I feel the way I do. Yet in spite of this I feel so sure God has spoken to me and revealed his son to me.
Hi AOTT,
Well, we do need to be careful regarding what we believe and trust about our 'feelings'. I'm not denying what you've said, but merely making a caution about relying on them Our heart is wicked!!! The sooner we come to terms with that fact, the better off we are. We are not to lean on our own understanding.
If I may, let me describe a bit of my life and my experience and feelings and so forth in coming to know God.
I was raised in a local fellowship of believers. My grandfather was a wonderful pastor and teacher all of his life. From the time that he graduated seminary as a young 20 something man until the final years of his life, he was preaching in various fellowships. I believe he was a godly man. I honestly believe that it may well be that the very reason God drew me to Him was because of the prayers of my grandfather. His daughter, my mother, not so much. She always played the game. In worship pretty much every Sunday, sang in the choir and did many of the other fellowship participation things. Married a man, my father, who was definitely not. He was also a game player as my mother was, but you could clearly see that his life was not about God. He pretty regularly had a 'girl' on the side and just generally did not practice any type of godliness, except to be in a worship service on Sunday.
So, that's how I grew up to understand 'church'. It was something that you did on Sunday and if you were ever filling out a form that said 'religion', you always ticked off 'christian'. I, like you, had no idea what the Scriptures said and had never read them and found them also terribly boring to just sit and read. But, if you asked me if I was a christian? Yep! Heck, I was baptized and that was the dividing line, just as many say it is today. However, I've since learned that what Jesus said about being baptized is that one must be 'baptized and believe'. Yes, I'd been baptized - no I wasn't any sort of believer.
Yes, I knew and grew up with all the cutesy little songs about Noah and the animals 'two by two'. I'd sung about climbing Jacob's ladder and Joseph's coat of many colors. I went to church camp every summer in my teens. It's where I first found sex!!! Being a 'christian' was great!
When I was about 40 the pastor at the fellowship I was attending gave a message about the prophecies of Jesus in the Scriptures. Yea, I'd heard of the ones that are so popular around Christmas time, but I'd never really given any thought to their implication. I guess I'd never really stopped and considered the reality of their coming to pass. They were just neat stories to me.
That all changed! I found myself in my bedroom one evening on my knees literally crying out to God to save me. I prayed fervently that God, through His Spirit, would give me an unquenchable thirst to know Him. To understand Him. To love Him. Friend, it is my truthful testimony that for about the next two years I couldn't put the Scriptures down. Just as we read about Paul's conversion and then his going away for awhile to learn of God, I had that same experience. I literally and truly thirst for the knowledge of God. I was convicted and convinced that I had been born again. I understood and could clearly see how all my life up until this moment, I had also been playing the 'I'm a christian' game. It is my fervent and steadfast belief that when someone is born again -- they will know it!
Your entire worldview changes. What and who you depend on for truth is different from most everyone else. Jesus said that it was the job of the Holy Spirit to lead us into all truth. That's exactly what he does! Jesus said that without the Spirit of God there is no understanding of the things of God. That's true!
That's my testimony of my experience of being born again. Now, many will tell you that's it different for everyone. I would agree that the circumstances and particulars about how each and everyone of those who the Scriptures say have the right to be called children of God, come to the truth. But, firmly and steadfastly believe that these two truths that Jesus spoke of will be evident in such a person who has been born again. The Scriptures tell us that if we lack wisdom in anything we should go before the throne of God and ask Him for wisdom and discernment and that He delights in answering that request. I believe that!
Friend, look. It's not about being a christian. It's about being born again. When one is born again, I am firmly convicted that they soon come to understand that God's word is true. I may not understand it all and there are things I may not, in my human nature, agree is how I would have done things, but I know that God's word is true.
Why do I believe that?
Continued.
God bless you,
In Christ, Ted